If I don’t get my diet pills today, then I’m going to really believe, beyond a doubt, that something doesn’t want me to lose weight, though I still say you can’t lose weight on no pills anyway. I also think the testimonials were made up, judging by how well-written they are. Most people aren’t that literate and just the way they’re written and all that makes me think the same person wrote them all, making up names along the way and picking random towns and cities that these people are supposedly from. Nonetheless, I still would like to get the pills, so hopefully they’ll be there today, along with mail from Mary.

I wonder if Rosa got my letter and if that was the correct address. Of course, there’s always the chance that it was the correct address and she moved before the site could be updated.

I bid on a set of 3 dolls yesterday but didn’t meet the reserve. That’s okay, though. I don’t want to go back into debt by as much as I would have if I’d won.

There are a couple of dolls with a starting bid of $5, no reserve, just $5 shipping, and it ends in two days. I’ll keep a watch on that one.

I’m wondering once again about us getting it on. See, when I was thinking about how I fell asleep too early for sex, it hit me that if either of us had had the desire that much, we’d have found the time earlier. So, in light of my schedule and us not seeming to put much effort into making the time even if it means getting it on earlier than he’d like, makes me question the whole thing again. I think we should go back to being the friends we have been for the last few years. I know he loves me and I know he knows I love him, but do we really want to get it on with each other all that bad? Obviously not.

Although I don’t feel unhappy or incomplete, I sometimes find a longing stirring within me. It’s like I wish I could experience love and lust with a woman I’m attracted to as I am with Kate, yet I don’t want to give up Tom and the life I have now. Not only is my current life wonderful compared to my past one, but it’s wonderful compared to the average life out there. Anyway, maybe that’s why I write my stories; as a way of living my fantasies without having to change or give up what’s reality.

I had another story idea. Maybe a young woman can be living at an apartment complex much like the Vista Ventana and fall for the complex’s security guard.

For the last week, it had been like June – hot and cloudless. Today, while it’s still pretty warm, it’s also cloudy. It’s just a thin white haze that I doubt will produce any rain, but maybe it will later on.