Ann Marie was someone I had two one-nighters with right before I left New England. We got together once before I left MA, then again before I left CT. I was 26 at the time and she was a year older. This was in 1992. We got along fine, but we weren’t quite what we were looking for in a person. Then when I left for Arizona so suddenly, that was it. We never spoke again. I liked her, though. She was a nice girl and good-looking too, for not being the tall, dark type I usually go for. But like I said, we were different and didn’t quite feel that magical spark. We understood this and there were no hard feelings.

So I looked her up and found her on MySpace and sent a friend request. I’m not sure if she remembers me since I’m listed by just my married name there, but she accepted the request. When I first found her I saw that she hadn’t logged in since 2008, so I didn’t expect to hear from her. I guess she opened the account and then forgot about it till she just accepted me as her first friend request.

Just like with Evie, we don’t have to talk or be buddies. I just thought it would be nice to say hi and let her know I hope the years have been good to her. She looks ok, but I wouldn’t be the least bit attracted to her if we were meeting all over again in this day and age.

Our weather has continued to be cold, rainy and very un-May-like, even for NorCal. Not-so-extreme NorCal, that is. I saw that Jessie hit 96º today and that is all wrong! Just so backward! We’re usually okay in the afternoon, but the nights are freezing.

Marie told me that any dreams she has with me in them are good, but not the last one. I guess we were arguing about something when she stormed out and jumped into her truck. Then she was about to get into a head-on collision when she woke up. She said that she heard that if you see yourself die in your dreams, you do die. I’ve heard that too, but I'm not so sure that’s true. I swear I was once murdered in a dream many years ago. I believe I was living in the slums of Springfield on Oswego St. when someone slit my throat out back in the parking lot by the dumpster. This was a very dangerous neighborhood consisting mostly of Puerto Ricans and so that’s probably what triggered that dream. I think the guy that killed me, though, was white, LOL.

I had my second homeless dream last night. Yeah, fun, huh? Tom said it’s only because it’s what I’m preoccupied with lately, we’re not going to be homeless, everything is fine, etc. Damn right we’re not going to be homeless! I’d kill myself first! Life can stop us from buying a house, but it ain’t gonna make no street bum outa me! Meanwhile, I’ll believe everything’s “fine” when and if he gets a job. I know I’d only be moving onto new worries if he did and that I would then have to worry about him getting laid off with no unemployment left to fall back on, but that’s ok. I’m overdue for new worries.

The last tier of unemployment has officially begun and so this means he must put in 3 job applications a week, even if it can only be for things he’s not qualified for. He put in for a medical billing job at a temp agency here in Auburn, even though he has no experience with that sort of thing. They said the applicant must live within 25 miles of Auburn, so even though it’s very unlikely, maybe they’ll give him a chance just because of where he lives. Like I said, though, I doubt it. I still think this is it, we’ve lived our lives, and we won’t be able to go on past October. Yeah, sometimes God really does give us more than we can handle, but whatever’s meant to be will be and I’ll be ok with whatever’s meant to be because that’s all I can do. Our lives aren’t entirely up to us, even if some of us would like to think otherwise.

The rat’s life is also coming to an end, though he isn’t suffering. He can still get around and he still has a good appetite, but the tumor is massive now. So much so that he looks disfigured.