By accident, I came across this horrible video of a sadistic murder of a 17-year-old girl who was stoned to death in Iraq simply because of who she loved. All I can say is that I am both ashamed and embarrassed that I could have even thought of turning to God for a while there. Over 1000 onlookers sat back and did absolutely nothing. Still believe in God, folks? Still think He’s not to blame for failing to step in and save some of these innocent lives? Don’t worry, though. I’m just as devoted to Him as any devoted churchgoer is. Only I’m devoted to absolutely loathing Him for the atrocities He has sat back and allowed to happen. And don’t tell me only He can understand His ways and that He has his reasons for the things that happen in this world. There is no “reason” to throw stones at a child until they are dead. I was so sickened after I saw this horrifying murder of this girl being pulled, dragged, kicked, stripped naked and then slammed over the head with a block that I nearly puked. They beat her as if she were a man who’d raped and killed tons of kids.

Yeah, God, you’re just wonderful. You’ve done a fine job with the world that you’ve created.

Almost didn’t get to this entry because I’m so busy. I’m in the process of formatting my stories for our site. Some of my older ones don’t even have chapters or scene breaks. I’m going to be deleting the stories I have here and have marked them as private on Blogger. From now on, you want to read them, you pay unless you’re a friend. Obviously, I’ll have to give some free samples of my writing once we set up the site because most people aren’t going to buy stories from people they don’t know. But I’m going to limit what I post elsewhere.

I thought I’d seen it all and nothing fazed me anymore, but that sick, twisted video of that teenage girl being murdered got me down. Not just mad at God and the world, but down. Yet as scary as it is there will always be heartless people walking around in this world with zero conscience. Even our government is like that in a sense, denying so many people the unemployment benefits they’re entitled to without a care as to who goes hungry and who may lose their homes. Someone could kill a child in front of most of these rich, spoiled, compassionless politicians and it wouldn’t be any different to them than watching someone step on a bug.

But the Middle East is clearly so backward and twisted when it comes to “honor death” and other things that it makes states like Arizona and Texas seem like nothing. I would demolish the entire Middle East in a heartbeat if I had the power to do so, not just to make the world a safer and better place in general, but to spare other innocent victims of this so-called honor death. And why is it only women and girls have the “honor” of being brutally beaten to death? Somehow I doubt everything walking around with a dick over there is a saint. If there is any good news it’s that they avenged the girl’s murder. Well, that’s what I heard anyway. I’m all for the eye-for-an-eye attitude in most cases. Maybe that’ll slow these sick rituals down; if the killers knew they were killing themselves as well.

I’m still struggling with my feelings for Andy. I love the guy. Don’t get me wrong. I meant it when I said I’d take him in in a heartbeat if he needed a place to go. We’ve had tons of good times together and I have lots of fond and funny memories to cherish (if I could just stop forgetting things in the first place since my memory isn’t what it used to be).

But it really bothered me how he said “it was all what THEY did to me” when he was reading the part of my bio about the crazy neighbors we had who sought revenge against me through the law for complaining on them. That’d be like someone seeing this woman crying somewhere and asking her why she was crying. Then suppose she said it was because of her boyfriend. Then suppose the person was quick to defend the boyfriend after he’d just beaten her and they didn’t know about it or a fraction of what went on between them. Really, folks, don’t judge until and if you know the whole story. And don’t call your friend a friend if you’re going to make excuses for or defend the other party. He did, however, give me his word that he would keep his two cents to himself unless I ask him for it and that’s exactly what he’s done since then.

To sum it all up, I’m sure that’s how it would be if you asked the sickos themselves how it was and that they would insist it was ALL me. I’d bet my life no one ever questioned THEM and asked them if they were sure THEY hadn’t done anything to me or if they were perhaps lying about anything.

Although I know I don’t need to prove or explain myself to anyone, it would be kind of neat if there was such a thing as a lie detector test in which the results could be posted online. Know why? Because the results would say I was lying if I said yes after the tester said, “You picked on them for no reason other than that they were black, right?”

I’ve also got some person(s) insisting Andy’s going to dump me and so I ought to not bother with him, but I like to make my own judgments as to who I associate with. If a month goes by that I don’t hear from him, then I’ll assume they may be right, but even if he does dump me, that’s his right. No one is obligated to stay in my life.

Anyway, if I don’t get to messages over the next few days, don’t panic, I’m just busy. Between work and assessing/listing the Beanie Babies my folks have on the way to us, and preparing our site, I have my work cut out for me.

Marie asked Tom a computer question which he answered, and today she’s spending the day 30’ up in the air trimming tree branches – ugh! That girl is fearless! Well, except for when it comes to mannequins, LOL.