So my mom called yesterday but I had to call her back because I was on a job. And that way no one paid for the call. She pretty much told me stuff about the Beanie Babies which Dad already told us and that we can find out ourselves. The collection cost her 4K over the years. But since everybody expects you to practically give things to them I still don’t expect more than a few hundred for them, but that’s just a few hundred more we’ll have to live on before the money runs out and our time is up. Like I said, it’s more than obvious that no one’s going to give my husband a job, but that’s ok. I don’t mind checking out of Hotel Earth a little earlier than planned. But if I’m going to be forced into something that’s only destined to kill me in the end anyway, it’s going to be on my terms. Meaning that I’m going the faster more comfortable way. I’m NOT going to slowly starve on the streets. Like I said, God can hate us enough to lead us to the streets, but He can’t make us live on them and I won’t! I couldn’t even if I wanted to. There’s just no way I could handle such torture.

Other than being on what may very well be my last few months of life, things are going ok. The Beanie Babies should arrive on Monday, the day Charlotte should get my letter. Or whoever’s at the cottage to get it for her. I’m no longer going to be writing letters to my parents other than when I’ve got pictures to send them. As she herself pointed out, why write when I can call for free?

For the second day in a row, I took another two-hour nap. Totally not like me. I probably haven’t napped two days in a row since I was a kid.

Marie got me hooked on this awesome site yesterday called jango.com where you can personalize your own radio station. It’s a lot like the old Yahoo! station, but since all good things eventually come to an end, I don’t expect it to be around forever. It’s great, though, compared to AOL’s radio and other sites which simply let you access playlists. Most free radio stations are riddled with commercials and will only let you skip 6 songs an hour, but not this place. I had to disable Robo, though, cuz it wanted to save a login passcard every single time I’d skip a song. It’s ok, though, since I don’t sweep anymore. I also love how the player starts right away. It took me 3 tries before I could launch the other radios. I can also ban songs I dislike.

Tom hurt his back a few days ago and once it’s fully recovered he’s going to unscrew the shower faucet and replace the washer cuz it’s been dripping.

Why are people so quick to blame others for their actions? I wonder. These days, people are blamed for influencing those who commit suicide or who commit crimes, and I have to wonder if this is really the right thing to do. For years I blamed others right along with me for helping to make my life so miserable that at age 17 I would throw myself out a window and break my upper arm in half like I did at Valleyhead. Many others feel others are just as responsible for what I did, but is that really fair? Aren’t we all supposed to be responsible for our own actions? Well, I think I was/am responsible for mine. Both as a child and an adult. No one opened the window and threw me out of it. Some of the people and Valleyhead itself were making me miserable, yes, but I’m still the one who jumped. I didn’t care at the time what the consequences would be when I hit the ground. I didn’t care if I lived or died. But I knew right from wrong and while it was ok to be sad, mad, frustrated and scared, I didn’t have to do what I did.