I always said that 4 was an unlucky number. Well, today, the 4th, the park gave us bad news. The fucking scamming management company up in Oregon is going to hold us back after all. Why they waited this long to tell us after they just told us to stop by sometime to see what’s available, is beyond me, but it really pisses me off.

I tell you, something up there does not want us owning again. No, it wants us to live in someone else’s little shitbox that costs hundreds of dollars more a month than necessary and comes with part-time Internet service. Every night at 7:30 they’ve been turning us on and off and on and off.

We only speculate it’s the scammers in Oregon. It could actually be something a whole lot worse, like identity theft for thousands of dollars. Tom only pulled up his credit report with one agency. Who knows who they used until he talks to them and finds out exactly what’s going on. He intends to dispute it, but what good would that do? The bastard above will continue to use whatever/whoever He can to hold us back like He always does. Sure the “sardine” park will take us with no questions asked, but why move from one place we don’t want to be to another place we don’t want to be just because we can and it’d be better than nothing?

He said he’d still ask them about outright sales. This was an application for a loan from the park if we decided on a more expensive place, not to buy a place outright. Besides, our credit isn’t as bad as we thought it was; just not great. Still, if they found something we don’t know about, we want to know what it is. Really wish they hadn’t waited so damn long to tell us, though.

Then Tom came into the room and said he found an estate sale wanting cash only in a 55+ park that’s family-owned vs. the corporation the other park is part of. It’s in a different town, even closer to work, and I can’t deny it seems like a helluva deal. That’s how I know we won’t get it. Nothing up there would be that nice to us so I’m sure it will be gone by tomorrow. Tom’s still going to give it a try and call them tomorrow.

No point in going over the ins and outs of this place since we probably won’t get it, but I will say that I love how the back of it is by a freeway instead of other backyards. I’d love to be backed up against a freeway cuz it would act like a sound machine of sorts and help mask any car door slamming. When a place is predominantly quiet and then you hear something here and there, it makes it stand out even more. Freeways are a fairly steady sound, sort of like a fan, that has never bothered me like barking, screaming kids and car stereos.

If we can get anyone to accept us other than the sardine park, we decided to go with old and cheap vs. new and not so cheap. That way we not only save a few hundred on the lot rental, but we can make it exactly what we want it to be. Brand new tan carpet is better than old, worn tan carpet, but tan is not what I want. I want pink! It will be like a work of art in a sense as the plan is to remodel everything from top to bottom. New windows, carpet, counters, paint, fixtures… and if necessary, new sink, toilet and finishing for tubs and cabinets. You can resurface old ugly tubs and shower stalls with what’s called a shell. We might even have to do the roof, too. But – and it still shocks the shit outa me to be able to say this – we’ll easily be able to afford to do this in a few months or less.

Later…

Some people have asked why spend money on fixing up an older place when we can spend the money on a newer place, and well, it all comes down to lot rent and utilities. We can afford to pay a lot more than we’re paying here, but we’ve become security freaks after the hell we’ve been through in the past. The way to get security is to get a place that doesn’t suck every last dime out of you. The pricier places are on $850 lots that don’t include sewer and trash. The place we’re hoping to get is on a lot that’s about $600 a month, and all we’d have to pay would be gas and electricity. Maybe water too, but I’m not sure.

My new Austrian friend, who is a teacher, has been teaching me even more German. Just reading her wall posts makes it so that I can’t help but learn more vocabulary.

Got a message from Paula but she got cut off. I’ll call her tomorrow. She’s obviously not in jail, something that brings me mixed emotions. Unless the sentencing has been delayed or something, I’m happy as hell for her but pissed off for myself and made to feel even more hated from above and singled out. Whether you actually committed the crime or are being set up, who in their right mind wouldn’t agree that violence should earn you more jail time than words on paper? Sticks and stones may break our bones but words can never hurt us, right? Especially if we’re full-grown adults? But right or wrong, violence isn’t taken very seriously in this country.

On the flip side, it’s nice to know that if someone ever pissed me off bad enough or it was the only way to get them off my back, I could beat the snot out of them and expect little to no punishment so long as I wasn’t in Arizona or Texas. I would prefer no one to ever set me off that bad, though, or to become such a problem that the only way to scare them off was to beat them out of my life for good.

Tom has to work Saturday again, but they gave him Tuesday off so he can take me to the dentist that day. He won’t mind, though. He gets to sit in the massage chair they have while I’m being drilled, poked and pulled, and watch movies on their 60-million-inch TV. :)

Just like alcoholics can’t always quit on their own and sometimes need help, I think I’m going to have to get help with my weight. I’m not just struggling to get the weight off, I’m struggling to stop more from coming on! :( After my teeth are dealt with, the first thing to do would be to make sure nothing’s wrong like a wacky thyroid or something else. If not, then as Tom said, we could see a nutritionist or even afford Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers or whatever. If nothing’s wrong, I hope they can figure out a way for me to be able to have 1200-1500 calories a day and still lose. Right now the only way down the scale is 1000 a day and that’s like starving. I can do it some days here and there, but I simply can’t stand the hunger and fatigue of doing it day after day after day. I’m hoping there’s a “magic combo” of foods that when thrown together into a dietary menu, will be the proper formula for more effective weight loss. I always thought a calorie was a calorie whether it’s from chocolate or fish, but I guess certain calories are harder to burn. I’m hoping they can put together a more effective regimen that will allow me to lose without feeling like I’m going to die of hunger. I expect some hunger and sluggishness, but not to the point that I feel as if I haven’t eaten in years. If no one can help me then I might very well gain 10 pounds a year for the rest of my life. :(

I’m going one priority at a time, catching up on bodily repairs that have been neglected anywhere from 1999-2004. I know I should have a female exam, but eh, fuck it. After I get my teeth pulled I will then know if it’s necessary to see an ear doctor for my artificial ear canal. If it turns out it was the teeth and we can keep it clean on our own, then why bother? Chances are it will need to be professionally cleaned once or twice a year, though. Next up will be the eye doctor. Whoever does my physical about my weight can probably diagnose my sleep thing. That only takes a blood or urine test.