Got a message from Christiane. She said she hasn’t had time to read much of my story and put a frowning face next to this sentence. Really? Or is she just not interested? Well, I guess it doesn’t matter either way as once again writer’s block is setting in.

I wonder how many blog visitors I get that I can’t see? Visitors that deliberately hide from my tracker.

Tammy posted some more baby pics and I realize I still have mixed emotions where her kids are concerned. Well, I have mixed emotions about anyone in the family except for my cousins. I was browsing through some of Tammy’s comments on Sarah and Becky’s stuff and I guess Becky has eye surgery coming up. She and Sarah thanked their aunt Etta. Thought they “never had an aunt?” Yeah, that crack Sarah made really pissed me off. I tell myself she was just a brainwashed kid who didn’t know shit, but I remember that crack when I think of her, and I’m still hesitant to reach out to any of the kids and getting sucked up in another family feud of false accusations and the he said, she said game. Maybe Lisa’s changed, but I don’t need her coming out of the blue at me again with some lame bullshit accusation. Oh, I’d dump them if they started any shit. I have no problem with that at all even if it meant getting harassed and hounded online to hell and back. I’m just not so sure I want to burn a bridge we may need to one day cross. We have been poor so many times in life. Why couldn’t we be again? Why couldn’t God line things up to fall against us in all kinds of ways no matter how smart we are with money or how much we save?

I’d love to fuck with Bill, but the pussy’s hiding or it has no account. Besides, if I did that it would only get the DQ and brood on my ass about it.

Andy won a case involving a car accident he was in 3 years ago. He gets points off his insurance and a reimbursement check. Yay for him! I hope the check is big and arrives swiftly.

Can’t help but feel a pinch of regret for myself as well as happy for him, for I know that had it been me, God would have protected the guilty party and I’d have gotten nothing. Just a big fat nothing.

I also have mixed emotions where Mary is concerned. For years my husband looked for a job and didn’t get one till the economy nearly killed us. But she gets two jobs right off the bat? This woman who allowed herself to be abused and her child to be killed? We live like bums in a tiny old dump, but as soon as she’s released she gets to live in a big beautiful house. How fair is that?

Later…

Got sick of Lori and blocked her for the final time. Besides, I couldn’t have public posts if I wanted them and still be able to block her from seeing them. I’m just sick of all the messages, comments and likes, most of which are needless and silly anyway. I don’t need messages from her urging me to vote. If I want to vote I’ll vote. She’ll think it’s a glitch, though, and this way her feelings won’t be hurt. I didn’t want to come out and tell her, “Look, you’re not a bad person. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just don’t want to be friends with you.”

I never liked being overly sociable online with the same person anyway. I’m not only too busy for that but unless the person is interesting or hot as hell, I get bored with that sort of thing. I don’t think I’m basing my decision on Lori on her looks, though she was an ugly duckling. No doubt about that.

Really wish Facebook would allow a way for us to hide people’s likes and comments while still going public.

Decided to compromise with myself on whether or not to go public on Facebook or keep it friends of friends. I had kept going back and forth on the idea of which to go with, unable to make up my mind. I’d love a public account; it’s just that I’d hate to expose certain people who are more private that may still want to leave comments. So I decided to start with public posts, but then whenever I get comments or likes from certain people, I’ll go in and reset those posts to friends of friends.

I’m pissed at myself for going back up nearly a pound. Yesterday I was more sluggish and hungry for some reason, so I ate a little more. I also had my main meal too early in my day.

Tom is sick of all the OT. He says there’s no doubt it will continue for the rest of the week, but he would really love it if it stopped and he could have an entire weekend off. I agree, even if it would slow the savings down dramatically and I still may not get anything from my parents which could mean we couldn’t move for a long, long time. Oh well. We are where we’re meant to be. Been here so long that while there may be things to complain about, as with any place, this is what I’m used to. I don’t know that I could ever have adapted to having people an arm’s reach away like they are in those parks, so I’m ok with staying here. There are so many places that would be much, much worse to be stuck in. I know we could be moved into a similar old single-wide in the “sardine” park within a month, no questions asked, and it could be all ours, but if we’re going to settle, why not settle for staying here?

This weekend I’m going to unpack the bins I packed and just assume we’ve got another year or two to go before we get out of here and into a place decent enough. Tom doesn’t think the OT will stop after this week, though, just because he wants it to. LOL, I always did say that the more we want something the less likely we are to get it. I don’t see us moving anytime soon either. In fact, I don’t think we’re even remotely close. But he must be meant to be making all this money for a reason even if it means having no life. He hasn’t had a Saturday off in nearly two months, he’s tired, and things are getting neglected around here that I can’t do on my own.

I’m using Nane’s leaves for my blog background. She likes to take nature pics and one of the shots in her newest album was of a maple tree. I told her it would make a great blog background, but not to worry, I wouldn’t steal it. She said it was ok, though.