Tom was able to see the house yesterday but isn’t sure it’s what we want. We’re both going to see it next week after my dentist appointment. He said that for every old, ugly thing he saw, there was something gorgeously new and that it was the oddest mix of a place he’d ever seen. Where there were old, bare floors there was a brand-new dishwasher. He said the place was spacious enough, but if we got it we would have to do the carpet and flooring right away.

There were other weird things, too. It had a window AC, but an old downdraft cooler like we have here. The bedrooms are bigger but I hate that the windows in them are big. I never could understand why they bother with more than one small window in bedrooms. You’re supposed to be in there to sleep, not gaze out the window, right? Bigger windows would be more expensive to replace, too.

It has a $300 TV antenna on the roof and a fairly new refrigerator, but the fixtures, cabinets and countertops are kind of old.

I’ll have to see it to get a sense of just what we’re up against, but sometimes I think it may be better to keep saving for a newer place than to bother renovating old dumps. Yeah, I like the idea of making it exactly what we want it to be, but I’m sick of going from one dump to another. That’s the thing, though. The single-wides generally start at 3K while the doubles usually start at 10K. I’m open to a single-wide with an expando, but again, I’m sick of old crap! There’s gotta be an in-between. Something nicer but that isn’t on a more expensive lot so we wouldn’t have to risk our security. But we’re still a few grand from hitting that magic number that’s the starting point of the nicer doublewides. Really, though, I don’t want to live like a bum all of my life. I just don’t. Enough is enough already, and I think my husband and I both deserve better.

I also wish to hell I knew when the poodle was going to pay up, and how much, if anything at all. 2-3 grand wouldn’t make much difference, but as Tom said, we’d hate to be wrong and take this thing just to find out we’re really getting 5K from the poodle. If God makes sure my abuser leaves me nothing, then we could hit 10K on our own by the end of the year, depending on OT.

Nane said don’t take a place if I have any doubts and to wait for what feels right and all that. She has a definite point. Only problem is that what “feels right” is probably going to be either out of our league or suck every last dime out of us if it’s not. We don’t ever want to go back to living paycheck to paycheck.

I’ve been thinking of deleting Lori. She pesters me too much and I really get sick of her butting into so many of my conversations.

Later…

Lori has been deleted. I’m sure she’ll contact me through someone else or on my blog to ask what’s going on. The ugly ones always keep in touch while the hotties like Christiane ignore me. But the funny thing is that I know she’s reading my messages, some of which include my current story, thanks to that feature FB added that lets you know when messages have been picked up. I’m totally playing with her head, LOL, thanking her for blog comments she never left, etc. I don’t know how thoroughly she’s reading my messages, but why is she ignoring me? That much I don’t get. I told her to tell me if she doesn’t want to hear from me anymore and I will totally respect her wishes.

Anyway, when I hear from Lori via other means I’ll just play dumb and blame it on tech issues.

We discussed it some more and we decided not to bother with the house he last saw. It’s not only not what we want, but the roads in that particular park are just too damn narrow and the houses are set too close to the street. In the picture of the place was this strange black box right in front of it and we couldn’t figure out what it was till he got to the park. It’s to keep vehicles from backing up into it. He said he passed someone along the way and they both had to pull onto the shoulder, and while they did, he was just inches from the wall of one of the homes. To hell with that shit!

So we decided that since we’re so close to the magic number that would open up a world of additional and better options for us, we’re just going to save a few more grand and do it right. Nane’s words kept playing through my mind about not going with anything I had doubts about, and well, the last thing I want to do is go into a place with any doubts. So we’re gonna get it right and quit settling for old dumps. Yeah, we could fix them up to be exactly what we want, but not only are we kind of sick of having to play fix it, but Tom realized that he would have little to no time to oversee the work that was done in an old junker before we could move into it, like painting and laying down new carpet and flooring.

It would also come out to be the same cost-wise if we got a more expensive place closer to work than a cheaper one further away. Besides, Miss Doesn’t Know Money here got her facts wrong. For some reason, I thought we wouldn’t be able to save if we got a lot that rented for over $600 a month, but according to Tom’s calculations, we can go as high as $800 and still have money for other necessities, plus be able to save a decent amount each month. We just hope the OT doesn’t stop until after we move and get everything situated, though he will have to take some time off for the actual move itself. That’s ok, though, he’s got nearly 3 weeks off accumulated already. He still makes a lot of money without OT, thanks to his impressive work history, which quickly allowed him to be one of the top dogs there. But good things sometimes do come to an end, and so we will make sure our asses are covered in the event of a lay-off.

We were thinking about Oregon and wondering why we didn’t save there. We could’ve saved a fortune up there too, had I not been such a shopaholic! We both agree it was fun as hell while it lasted, and while they had the killer insurance and tax thing up there, he was making a lot of money where our rent was half of what it is now. We didn’t even have vehicle expenses there. Why register a vehicle when it’s a 6-minute walk to work and an 8-minute walk to the grocery store? A part of me misses it there and some of the people, though not the insurance, tax and climate deal. The 4342-thousand-foot-high little town was colder than MA! I still think of Jan, Randy and Liz at times and wonder how they’re doing.

Anyway, while it’s true that new pink carpet would be better than old tan carpet, getting a new place with newer stuff, even if all the colors aren’t my top choice, would still be nicer than having to deal with the hassles of renovating so much shit. I just can’t get into the “old dump” thing. Never have, never will. If I could, I’d be in love with this place. Even if I could keep a schedule and he had more free time, it would be such a pain to resurface old cabinets and replace cabinet doors, along with fixtures, windows and so many other things. All that money can be spent on a newer place that already has dual-paned windows and stuff like that.

So… we’re going first class! Well, more like second class instead of tenth class. :) looks upwards Yeah, God, you ain’t gonna hold me back and keep me in dumps forever. It just may take us 3-6 more months to get out of here.

Don’t laugh but we had to fire up the heater early yesterday morning now that we’re hitting down in the low 50s to high 40s at night. From 3am - 9am it’s pretty chilly in here, though great for sleeping and working out.

Norma explained to me how we’re related because I honestly didn’t know. We’re cousins because my dad’s mother’s sister and Norma’s mother were sisters.

The net went down hard yesterday and Tom had to call the incompetent assholes. I guess a technician will be out tomorrow unless, as usual, they discover the error is on their end. They love to cross the wires at their office whenever someone disconnects or activates service in the area. They still love to shut us down for a while just before 7:30 pm and early in the morning, too.

The more I learn about my mother the more I wonder just how “great” of a guy my dad really was. He was always a million times better than my mom, but still, what kind of man allows his wife to treat his kids the way we were treated? He knew. He had to have known what was going on. Yet what kind of guy simply shrugs and looks the other way? Accepting those we love as they are should end with child abuse, shouldn’t it?