Getting really sick of Google putting some of my posts behind content warnings. Especially posts that have existed for years. Just who am I writing for, them or me? If it’s them then they need to pay me. I complained to them and told them to knock it off already. These are posts that have been around for ages, and when I’m asked to change things, then I’m writing for them and not for me. I’ve edited and requested reviews on the ones they’ve complained about and they’ve accepted all but the last one. So I simply deleted it and reposted it with minimal editing. I’m not going to play this game with them and edit my own damn journal for the tastes of others any more than I would on any other platform. I write for me first and foremost. That’s the way it’s always been and that’s the way it’s always going to be. I don’t explain or defend myself either. This is purely hypothetical, but if someone wanted to argue with me about something I think or believe, I don’t bother to engage in a debate with them. I either ignore or block.

Sure came close to blocking Kim! Good golly God! I just asked her to shorten her messages to me a bit and what do I get less than 4 hours after spacing out my last reply to her by 5 days but another long rambling message. Unless I send a message when I know she’s going to be asleep, she almost always gets the message right away and immediately gets to work on a reply. Again, why do they let her have so much free time? She said her sister says working for pay is a no-no, and full-time is too much for her. Too much how? Nonetheless, I told her never to feel obligated to respond right away and that I totally understand if she’s busy, tired, or just not in the mood and it takes her a few days. I’m hoping she’ll take the hint but somehow I think it will fly right over her head.

Then I got another brief message and then a message containing part of the stupid story she’s working on. Let me guess…even though I asked her to keep it to a few messages at a time, like one for her message to me, another for journals, and another for stories, I’m going to have one or two more messages before I respond to her last one, right? I swear that talking to her is like talking to a wall! I’m not sure if she just doesn’t get it or if she really doesn’t care one way or another. Probably a mix of both. Regardless, I never wanted to be friends with a 5-year-old even if it lives in a 42-year-old body. I’m so tempted to ghost or block her email but I know I would feel guilty and worry about Karma getting me for it. Karma bit me in the ass for dumping Andy the two times I cut ties with him, toxic or not, and I know life wasn’t good to Aly during the 17 months she wouldn’t talk to me. So since she’s only annoying and frustrating me and not literally harming me, I’ll just continue to space out my messages to her and skip the repeat questions I’ve asked her a million times not to hit me with.

Tom had blood drawn yesterday and a chest x-ray. He said the hearing test was a waste of time because all they wanted to do was try to sell him an expensive hearing aid he couldn’t afford. He said maybe he could get cheap ones on Amazon once we paid down some of our debt. How are we going to do that if he’s unable to work because he can’t hear? And why the fuck doesn’t Medicare cover hearing aids?

They’re going to cut the cancerous spot on his forehead out soon.

My sleeping has gotten a bit erratic the last few days, making it harder to hope to make my endo appointment in a few months. Tom says don’t worry about that until it gets close but I do, even if I don’t think she’ll be of any help.

I woke up after just 4 hours of sleep after being up 18.5 hours since I slept a long time the night before and had good energy. So I was still tired and went back to sleep and that’s what’s causing my schedule to jump faster than usual so I’m hoping I’ll have a few days/nights where it holds for a few days/nights which is also common.

During my second sleep, I dreamed we were living somewhere, although I don’t know if we just moved in or what, that seemed to be a pretty big house with multiple floors and a decent-sized backyard. The unfortunate thing was the large family that moved in next to us. Their driveway literally passed right by the wall of our house, like barely two feet away. We seemed to be in a rural area. I watched them drive this huge loud tractor up their driveway alongside our place and then further back. Then a motorcycle went by and one of their kids moved this strange-looking vehicle to the side that was as loud as a motorcycle.

I eventually went out into the backyard which the back half of their driveway ran alongside. Suddenly, our refrigerator and pantry were outside against the back of our house and an older woman I guessed to be the mother of one of the parents seemed to be interested in storing extra stuff in it since there were about three adults and at least three kids and therefore a lot of food. I told her that any time there was extra space go ahead and store what they wanted but try to use the top shelf of the pantry since I was short.

I then complimented the woman on her pretty sundress and was just about to tell them that because I had health issues that meant I needed to sleep in the daytime sometimes and ask how often they expected to pass by our place with loud vehicles when the dream ended.