Sleeping through storms is putting so much stress on me, even when they don't actually wake me up. I’m at the point where I’d literally rather have the honker back. He was annoying, but at least he didn’t wake me up.

I slept horribly a couple of nights ago. Yes, I have chronic fatigue, but fragmented sleep on top of it is a killer. Somewhere midway through my sleep, I took half a clonazepam, and I did sleep a bit more solidly after that. Still woke up utterly exhausted, which I expected. It’s so frustrating having little to no control over this shit.

I'm getting to the point where I wonder how much longer I'm going to be able to write, and starting to think the day may come sooner than I'd like when I'm going to be doing vocal journaling only. I’d do this on Swell and micro-updates on Bluesky. Using speech-to-text is easy. It's all the editing that takes time and energy.

So after spending all day yesterday batshit exhausted, wishing I could cease to exist, and not doing nearly as much as I wanted to do—while what I did do was a struggle—I slept a little better last time around, even though I did get thundered awake. Perhaps that was because I took a full clonazepam before bed. It took me a while to fall back asleep after getting stormed awake, but I managed. Might have had a couple of chipmunks visiting too, after two days without them, although I can’t swear to it.

Luckily, I'll at least have more energy for my appointment later on. Coincidentally, it looks like the weather's going to dry up for a couple of days after my appointment. Bet I’ll get stormed awake before Rhonda next month.

I miss the hell out of Aly. Always have. Always will. I wonder what her life would’ve been like if she’d lived. I miss our chats. She was so smart, observant, and her memory was phenomenal. Not that I don’t have people I can turn to now, but Aly really got me, especially the health stuff, since she went through so much herself.

C and I chatted yesterday like old times. :-)