I am so horribly exhausted that I wonder when I'm going to collapse. I slept plenty long enough and didn’t wake up a million times, yet the fatigue from chronic fatigue really is real. Plus, I could still have long COVID fatigue if I really did ever have COVID. Unfortunately, there’s no way to test for either. 

I’ve got a 100 mg of CoQ10 capsules coming tomorrow, and hopefully I’ll notice a difference within 2 to 4 weeks. It could take up to 8 weeks, though, and I might have to increase the dose as long as I’m not having side effects, and add NADH and carnitine. AI says it helps the majority of those with chronic fatigue obtain moderate energy, but I don’t feel very hopeful. I just don’t get problems I can fix or even greatly alleviate. Yet it’s hard to resist the urge to try whatever I can think of when you’re suffering that much and therefore desperate enough.

I woke up a few times for no apparent reason, and then once I’m pretty sure was due to thunder, and another time thanks to our little attention getters that have to make a scene with the fireworks. 

We had a tropical storm blow through and it took the power out for a little while, right along with the internet. I was a little worried that it would cause a voltage spike and damage the AC like last time because of the way it was flickering on and off before it went out completely but it’s fine. 

The storm delayed the obnoxious fireworks, but it didn’t stop them. They were going well after midnight. I bitched about it on Facebook and Mrs. Twenties said it was like a war zone where she is. I remember it being bad there. The thing is that I’m in a rural area with mostly old people, so I thought things would be a lot more tame here, but apparently not. Oh, to have land again! How I miss our land and house in Arizona! But no matter what our finances are, I will never again be healthy enough to move. This, along with the stress and shitty sleep, had me wake up depressed and frustrated with the knowledge that I’ll almost certainly never get better. Besides the basic CF, it feels like that one pill really screwed me up. I just checked, and I'm not going crazy after all, for feeling like it's still affecting me, because that one pill can take up to 7 days to completely clear my system.

As miserable as I felt, a big smile broke out on my face when I made my rounds checking for notes, messages, and emails in various places and opened Melanie’s message on Messenger. She wants to gift me a haunted doll she got from a thrift shop in her hometown of Cleveland! She believes it’s a Jewish woman who died in her 30s or 40s who spent her life in Cleveland. She didn’t realize when she got it that it was haunted, but she’s been able to determine with her pendulum that even though it’s a male doll, a woman haunts it. She shared a few pictures of it. It’s not exactly aesthetically pleasing, but I’ve seen a lot worse. It says on the base that the doll is affixed to that it was made in Israel. It’s a small doll that I’d say is less than a foot tall. Anyway, that was so kind of Melanie to offer and it really made my day! Or night in this case, since I’m on nights now. It was a delightful surprise mixed in with the fatigue and chaos and sense of hopelessness I’ve been feeling. I plan to surprise her eventually with a diamond painting.

There’s been a new weapon against my sleep, and that’s hip pain. I have that at times anyway, but it seems to be a little more frequent, and I’m guessing it’s mostly because I’m not sleeping on my stomach as much as I used to. Next time around, if it isn’t that or another storm, I’m sure it will be leftover fireworks to fuck with my sleep.

No leaks last time around, but the weird thing is that even though he went into the clinical settings and set it to max at 9.0, it says it went up to 10.9. He also found settings we didn’t realize were there. It wasn’t set for her—this is one of those “for her” CPAPs. It’s supposed to use the algorithms differently, so I don’t know if that will help and make a difference or not.