Joined Togetherall, a community support group for those who struggle with physical and emotional conditions. It's totally anonymous. You're not supposed to state your name or location, and you can't even pick your own username or avatar. They randomly assign you a username, and the avatars are typically random colors with shapes/designs.

I was exhausted most of the day yesterday, but perked up the further into my day I went. So much so that I took melatonin so I wouldn't be up too long. It caused me to have a nightmare. Air got trapped in my mouth a few times too, not surprisingly. I disagree with Tom, who says we can eventually adjust the settings to stop this from happening. I think I need a mouth guard. The only negative to a mouth guard that I can think of is that I'll have to go back to using nose strips. The one thing the CPAP does without fail is open my nose beautifully. The cradle and the original nasal pillow do a great job of that.

I weighed the pros and cons of both harnesses and nasal pillows and decided that while my original harness is the most comfortable, that particular nasal pillow with the prongs that sit just inside the nostrils gets too hard to seat properly. The other harness isn't quite as comfortable, but the quick release on top makes it easier to get in and out of, and the cradle is more comfortable and stable. It does sometimes shift a bit to the side, which causes a bit of a hissing sound that can wake me up, but air getting trapped in my mouth is a bigger issue.

So thanks to Rhonda, a referral to my chosen pulmonologist is on the way. Really wish I could go to the second one I saw, but he's not covered under my current plan.

Last night my sleep was a little more fragmented, but I'm not quite as tired. I still am pretty damn fatigued, don't get me wrong, but I think I'll be able to make it to Publix later on, which we plan to go to. We've both been craving variety.

Took my third dose of CoQ10 earlier, and I haven't had any side effects yet. I really, really hope it helps with energy, but it will take time if it's going to help me. They're soft gel capsules, but they're huge. So I pour a dab of olive oil on a spoon and then take a toothpick, pierce the bottom of the capsule, and squeeze it out onto the spoon. It's kind of nasty tasting, so I chase it right down with food or drink. I just hate swallowing big pills.

Tom believes that just like with the anxiety, which I now only get occasionally instead of nearly every day, the same thing will eventually happen with the fatigue, and that it will slowly fizzle out and become an occasional occurrence, even if I'm never going to have the kind of energy I had in my 20s and 30s. I'll settle for my 40s energy! Even the early days of Citrus Heights would be wonderful. I'd settle for my late 40s to early 50s energy. I still have to see it to believe it, though. Anyone who knows me knows I'm a die-hard pessimist. But he feels certain that it's a matter of finding what works for me. 

He still believes that we'll eventually move. That's the thing—my vibes and logic completely disagree with each other, just like at the last place. My logic says I'm never going to be healthy enough to move, and even if I were, we're never going to have the money. But my vibes say otherwise. I just don't feel like this is our forever home, even though I certainly would think it is. I still have an awful lot of moving dreams, and I can't believe they’re all a reflection of my thoughts, because trust me, it's not on my mind like the fatigue is.

Also, while this place may not be perfect with all the planes, and the honker can get annoying, and the storms put stress on me and can disrupt my sleep, it's not like we're anywhere near remotely desperate to get out of here. This park is still a million times quieter than the last one. In the middle of a weekday, it's usually dead quiet here, whereas the old place was noisy even in the middle of the night. The house was bigger and the health care system was better, but I hated it there otherwise.

While I'm on the subject of vibes, as I was unwinding for bed yesterday, I had a strong and sudden sense that the next president will also be a Refucklican. I suppose this shouldn't be too surprising with all the “red” people in this country that only seem to multiply with time. I wouldn't be surprised if I only saw one or two more Democrats elected in my lifetime. But yeah, I don't know who the hell they are or what gender they are, but I strongly sense another Republifucker on the horizon.

So I got an achievement email from LiveJournal. Today, my journal there is 17 years old. Old, but not as old as my entire journal, which will be 40 years old in a couple of years.

Most of the dreams I've had lately are just bits and pieces of senseless stuff, but last night's nightmare consisted of Tom and me being trapped in a room in some building. We were hiding from a homicidal maniac running around with a machete and a gun. I don't know if we knew the guy, but since we didn't get shot at, I guess I don't have to worry about anything particularly bad happening to us in real life.

The weirdest dream I remember was taking off on a plane from England to another country (India?). The plane was just rows of chairs on a platform where everyone sat side by side. It wasn't enclosed at all. There were also no fields surrounding the runway. It almost looked like we were taking off down a city street, as there were numerous buildings close by.