Oh great, I have to sit and listen to the fucking fireworks for the next few nights. 

I don't know why the hell I can sometimes sleep with a mask without leaks, and other times it leaks. I do know that I'm never going to reap the possible benefits from consistent CPAP use if I continue having leaks, so we lowered the pressure from 4–20 to 4–9. Most people go to 10 and I usually go to 11. I don't know that this is enough to make a difference, though. We'll just have to watch my AHI scores and see how I sleep.

We talked about picking out another pulmonologist and getting on the waiting list for an out-of-home sleep study so I can switch to a mouth guard, but I am just so, so tired of hopelessly fighting for what truly seems like a lost cause and something that isn't meant to be. I think it's time I just give up on myself. You can't make something be that just isn't meant to be. I have no idea why, but I'm just meant to be exhausted. I'm trying to get used to it and learn to adapt and live with it. But. It's been really hard so far. I try to remind myself that if I had energy all the time, I would just end up getting bored and not knowing what to do with it all. 

We also increased the exhalation relief setting, which was on 2 and goes as high as 3. I don't think that's an issue, though. Tom did read, however, that if the pressure is too high, it can leave you tired the next day. Well, if there's a 1% chance I don't have chronic fatigue and it’s all in my device/settings, I'm not going to find that out as long as I keep having problems.

Ordered a liner for the hybrid to see if that helps give it a better seal, although that too is doubtful. I can still use it to make the cradle more comfortable, though. 

Also ordered a new set of sports bras and cotton panties. I'll keep the silkies and the G-strings for sleeping.