I sleep great, and then what do I do? I go right back to having my sleep trashed with disruptions. Not only was there a power failure — and I regret this piece of shit ceiling fan I never should’ve gotten — but the chipmunks are back. So maybe I wasn’t adapting after all and just had a couple of unusually good nights.

I never should’ve gotten a smart ceiling fan. I should’ve gotten just a regular one, although they’re more expensive for reasons I can’t begin to fathom. Not only does the light come on when the power comes back on, but when it craps out while I’m sleeping, the fan doesn’t come back on automatically. Also, it gets stuck on stupid at times. I guess the remote is kind of crappy — it gets confused about which direction it’s supposed to go. I totally regret getting it and will only use it when I’m awake. I plugged in a tabletop fan to turn on and off manually when I’m sleeping, which will automatically come back on when the power does.

I am so fucking sick of not only being woken up nearly every single fucking time I sleep, but also by all the power failures we have in this place. Not even Maricopa had this many, and there were electrical storms galore there. We didn’t even have any storms last night either, though there were clusters of lightning around Spring Hill. I don’t understand why they don’t just put all the wires underground!

Between the power failures and the return of the chipmunks, I feel like shit. So now I can’t even know how much PEM I have today after being more active yesterday due to having more energy.

It’s still really hard to believe that this is all one big coincidence. I’ve had sleep issues all my life, but they’ve been especially bad since Citrus Heights. It’s like something evil latched on to me there, and while I’ve been happier overall in Florida, it seems to have followed me — particularly when it comes to my sleep. There’s almost always something disrupting it. If it isn’t nightmares or health issues or traffic, it’s thunder, power outages, and chipmunks.

If they refuse to pay for a mouth guard, then I’m going to have to decide which would be the better thing to be woken up by — events or chipmunks. I guess I would take the chipmunks, because if I tape my damn mouth, I sometimes do manage not to notice any in my sleep. Without it, I’m always going to have events. Plus, there’s my nose to deal with, which is my only concern with a mouth guard. I suppose it doesn’t matter whether they pay for it or not, because in the end, whatever’s cursing my sleep is always gonna find a workaround no matter what I do. If there were no storms, no power failures, and no chipmunks, I’d probably develop some kind of pain to wake me up. I just can’t win.

I might actually have been OK, though, and had fairly decent energy, if it weren’t for the power failure and 3–4 chipmunks. As I said, it’s hard to believe this is a coincidence. It’s like with the dream premonitions. If you have a few, it’s pretty meaningless. If you have dozens and dozens, you’re obviously onto something. Even if I wanted to deny it, I don’t see how I could deny the fact that something up there doesn’t want me sleeping 80-90% of the time. If this is true, I’d really love to know what could hate me so much to feel I deserve not to be able to sleep. 

I always said I'd never have a stroke, heart attack, or get cancer before he dies, but I don’t know about that. It just seems like the decades of sleep disruptions have got to catch up to me eventually, right?

This entry is so whiny I’m not even going to put it on PB. Not just so I don’t worry friends, but because there’s so much traffic there. I know I can just block any assholes, but I don’t want to deal with anyone’s shit in the first place.

I was going to schedule the lab for the first, but now I think I'll aim for the 11th. That way, I have a couple more weeks to see if I can work my TSH down, and it will be better for both our schedules.

We’re here for life thanks to a lack of money and energy, and while there are always going to be negatives to Florida, I’m at least grateful for the wonderful weather and the fact that this park is much quieter than the last one. It’s also a cheaper state than California. However, I did dream that we weren’t moving, but were talking about it. We must’ve been somewhere in a populated city in the East because I asked Tom, “Do you want to stay in the East or go back out West?” He said something I don’t remember, plus something like “no more big cities.” Then I said I loved the warmer climates because they were more comfortable, but what I loved about the colder ones was that there was less outdoor activity.

I thought of a way to do challenges that would be more fun. They usually have 5 rides, amounting to about 100 miles or a little more. Instead of doing one at a time, I thought I’d alternate between places each time I have the energy to hit the road. I rode a little bit through Lanai and Greece, but South Africa was like OMG! Despite the negatives here, it made me so grateful to be here. It starts off on a cliffside overlooking the water with hardly a building or person in sight. Then all of a sudden… what scum! Tons of dumpy shacks with trash strewn about everywhere and seemingly no plumbing either since I saw a lot of Porta-Potties scattered about.