Again there was nothing from Mary, but he only went to the Maricopa box this time and she might not have had time to get mail sent to it yet. Meanwhile, I’ve been cleaning, singing, working out and fine-tuning.

The stock’s still doing shitty. It looks like the classes are going to be delayed and I may not be able to order dolls on the 15th like we’d planned. I’m so sick of everything always getting delayed. It’s like my whole life is one big delay! I know one thing for sure and that’s that I’m not going to spend my life struggling for something that isn’t meant to be. If I don’t get to take classes this year, I’m not taking them at all, and I’ll just remain strictly a collector.

If we don’t have a working truck by January, that’s okay cuz we can use Dave’s truck, but I really want to get these classes going within the next few weeks. I’d also like to be able to order dolls on the 15th, but if I can’t, I can’t.

It seems we can never get ahead!

Still got a long way to go yet, but the closer we get to the end of this probation bullshit, the more excited and nervous I’m going to be. Not just for fear of the freeloaders pulling any shit on me before or after it ends, but for fear of the assholes back east jumping out at me, although I highly doubt it. It’s a lot more likely that the freeloaders would do something else before back east would do anything to me for threatening Bill, Larry and Ronnie, but I can never know. Maybe their laws will become just as ludicrous as they are out here between now and then. Plus, not everything runs concurrently. They may be waiting till Arizona’s done with me before stirring up trouble for me, but I’ll be damned if I won’t fight back this time around! I’ll be damned if I’ll pay for a phone call I made 3 years ago. One that was made a violent and vicious asshole. I’m not paying for another fucking thing I write, either. I won’t mail any of my nasty little thoughts to anyone, but I’m still going to write what I want to write. No laws or kiss-minority’s-asses trend is going to stifle what I have to say otherwise. I swear I’ll stand and fight back next time if we don’t run, and it’ll be just me and the state, face to face. There won’t be any quack lawyers involved. I will not be lied to, tricked and manipulated into bogus convictions ever again. No system’s going to bribe or bullshit me ever again.

I wish voodoo dolls could be real at times, I really do! I know they’re not, though. Something like that can’t be any more than pure wishful thinking just like a lot of these religious beliefs we’ve got going around.

Anyway, I don’t know why, but they’ve stopped the jail cam thing, so now I can’t spy on Teddy Bear at Madison if she were working intake.

Not that we’ll ever move to Massachusetts, but I get a bit homesick at times, believe it or not. Not for any of the people I knew there, not for the cold, not for the snow, not for the humidity or the constant rain, but there really are a few things better about the east than the west. For one, I get sick of nothing but sweltering heat. I miss the woods, the beaches, the drinking water and how everything’s so vivid and green during the summers. Here it’s nothing but brown. Always brown, though we do have flowers year-round, unlike back east. Most of the houses are big and they don’t all look the same. Nor are they usually so close together. I miss being able to leave windows open during the summers and not stumble across 8” spiders. As we all know, I’ve met my share of assholes there, but the people aren’t nearly as sensitive and as vindictive as they are here, and of course, I don’t have to point out how reasonable the laws are there compared to here.

Little Buddy was so cute earlier. I can’t believe that my now 2-year-old little fellow’s still so healthy and full of spunk! He’s so bouncy and as energetic as a puppy. Anyway, I’ve got him trained to give kisses back when I kiss him hello or goodbye before bringing him back to his house. Usually, he’s facing me when I do this so he can reach me easily. This morning, however, I kissed him on the back as my other hand was popping the roof of his cage and he turned all the way around to give me a kiss back! He’s so sweet. I wish I could have him forever. I am going to be so devastated when that rat dies which could be anytime now.

Well, I’ve seen Scot a total of 46 times so far. I’ve got to report 28 more times and he’ll probably make about 10 more home visits, so I’ll have to see him about 38 more times. Almost as much as I’ve already seen him. If Tom were working days I could have a little say in just how many more times I saw him, but you know I never get any say in regards to the freeloaders. When it comes to them, everything’s what they say and what they say only. Anyway, right now I’m guessing his next home visit will be either the last week of this month or the first week of October. When we’re both home, of course, but I seriously meant it when I said I’m not dragging myself out of bed for him should he come when I’m asleep. I can’t believe he hasn’t woken me up since February as it is! Still, 60 more weeks (420 days) with the freeloaders being very much a part of my life is rather depressing.

Although not as many, I hear early-morning shooters during the week, too. I guess these are the people that work 2nd or 3rd shift unless they’re those lazy homemakers everyone hates. They wouldn’t wake me up, though. The box fan drowns them out.

Since I’ve been home, it’s been the quietest it’s been for me in years. I don’t know, maybe my decade-long noise curse is finally over.