Still haven’t heard from Paula, not surprisingly, but I know how selfish and stuck in her own little world she usually is. She’s probably fighting with a Puerto Rican she met on a street corner. Except for poverty and loneliness, I just can’t figure out that girl. I just can’t relate to believing that a bad relationship is better than no relationship if that’s all you can get, or that it’s better to have people cut you down, abuse and try to control you rather than ignore you altogether if you don’t have anyone around at the moment who’ll treat you well.

Most people never change and are pretty much set in their ways. Especially people like Dureen. Yes, she may really be sorry for calling me and Tammy fat pigs, and she may really know that she did wrong, but that doesn’t mean I think she’d be a good mother if she were starting all over again and having kids.

As much as I hate people, I couldn’t help but feel compassion when I watched a lot of the 1-year anniversary remembrance specials they had on TV pertaining to the bombings in New York. I only hope that most of those who died were major-league assholes.

I learned after I last wrote that Tom got stuck for about an hour when he left for work the other day. A couple with a dog (I meant it when I said we’re the only dogless household in Maricopa) came by and helped pull him out.

Dave, who works at a vehicle dealership in Glendale, is going to be on the lookout for an old beat-up pickup such as we want. We don’t want to have to spend more than a G, but I’m sure we’ll be forced to in the end.

Anyway, this is the second night I won’t be able to watch the 2 AM Charlie’s Angels rerun. Last night they shut our satellite off cuz he delayed paying that bill to concentrate mostly on our outrageous $400 electric bill, and tonight they’re having some soap special.

I asked Tom if he was sorry we couldn’t sleep together so we could’ve gotten a smaller house with less space to have to cool, but he said no. That’s good, but either way, I wish it would cool off!

As predicted by both vibes and logic, the classes will be delayed. He says only till the first of October, but I doubt it. I already decided, though, that if I don’t get to take the classes before the year’s out, I never will. I learned my lesson about struggling and fighting for things not meant to be. It only gets me punished, not that God won’t be around to punish and compensate me if he does let me have my way and take the classes. It’s like I must pay for every little blessing I get in this life. He doesn’t give me something for nothing, that’s for sure.

No more opening windows at night. We’ve had more bugs and spiders showing up. We’ve got bombs ready just in case we end up having to bomb.

With all Tom has to do, it’s going to be a while before he gets to listening to all the songs I recorded and to learning how to use the software to merge the singing with the music, so it may turn out to be Christmas presents for Mom, Mary and Dave.

I ended up recording 18 songs. They are: I Honestly Love You by Olivia Newton-John, The Way You Love Me by Faith Hill, Breathless by The Corrs, Thank You by Dido, When Will I Be Loved by Linda Ronstadt, Dos Seremos Uno by The Spice Girls, Si Voy a Perderte and No Me Vuelvo a Enamorar by Gloria Estefan, I Hope You Dance by Leanne Womack, I Can’t Make You Love Me by Bonnie Raitt, I Could Fall in Love by Selena, I Wanna Be With You by Mandy Moore, Manic Monday by The Bangles, Lost in Your Eyes by Debbie Gibson, All By Myself and A New Day Has Come by Celine Dion, The Rose by Bette Midler, and Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer.

Later…

Amelia has been officially ordered. Tom said he hopes it’ll go through, cuz the credit card’s address may not have been updated yet. There’ll be some problem. There always is. Meanwhile, she should ship Monday, or Tuesday at the latest, and she should be here between the 26th - 30th. We’ll get the two little fairies whenever the hell our stock sells. Hopefully, that’ll be sometime this century! God, I feel like I’m waiting for things that’ll never happen!

In case I didn’t already say so, I mailed Tom’s Mary the storm pictures because I was having problems emailing them. They were too big for her mailbox or something like that, which I don’t get. I mean, I’ve sent pictures just as big before, so I don’t know what the scoop is. Maybe next time I ought to scale down the DPI.

Got a letter from my Mary yesterday postmarked the 5th. Don’t know why it took so long to get to me. In it, she says she got reading glasses and enclosed a 20-page draft which I’m nearly halfway done typing.

Boy, they’re really coming at me for MP3s tonight! But hey, it’s Saturday night. The flow of online traffic won’t start tapering off until the wee hours of the morning. I got more karaoke since we still haven’t found a way to make our own. I left the microphone hooked up so I can sing/record anytime I want to. Still, I wish we could make our own! Some of the songs I sing are quite obscure and there’s no way I could ever find them as karaoke.

Later…

Aw, how cute! I just jumped up to go to the bathroom. When I headed back I realized I had forgotten that Little Buddy was on the loose and found him passed out over the den vent. I woke him up and brought the little guy home. He loves sitting on top of the vents. Loves it when the air blows through them.

I told Tom that if this shit’s ever dropped to a misdemeanor like they claim it will be, although that’s the least of my worries, and if I ever get summoned for jury duty, I’m gonna tell them that after being railroaded and manipulated into a felony conviction, I have zero faith in the system and feel I could never make a good juror. And you know what? This is the honest truth, too!

Tom pointed out, though, that neither of us has been called in the 3 years we’ve been out here, fortunately. This is because Pinal County is a lot smaller than Maricopa County.

You know, I realize that if my theories were right all along about Tom being afraid of a kid and of him finding pleasure in my dissatisfaction, then he’d really be disappointed if we ever got it on again. With two of us now being anti-kid, wouldn’t that scare him all the more? And since the things that used to turn me off would no longer turn me off, wouldn’t that turn him off? Well, I don’t think we’ll ever know for sure.

Anyway, if I get to watch Charlie’s Angels tonight, I can see my current imaginary girlfriend, Shelley Hack. I always thought that Shelley was the dullest of the 6 angels, but lately, I’ve been realizing just how good-looking she really is, though she’s a little too thin. Once again, she’s not my usual color preference, either. She’s a light-eyed blond. I guess my tastes have expanded, though I still prefer dark hair and eyes. Shelley’s tall and thin and is now 50 years old, so I’m sure she’s changed quite a bit since the year she was on the show which was from ’79-’80. I’ve never seen her hair past her shoulders. It’s amazing. I mean, 3 decades later I’m still into Charlie’s Angels. It was my favorite show and I think it always will be.