Thanksgiving will mark 16 weeks since Scot has shown up. I really hope to beat that record and that he doesn’t get visit-happy on me early in the New Year. I doubt he will, but you never know. It’s not in his hands. He has virtually no power over his clients (his not being able to get the courts to allow me to get on with my life should tell you that). He basically has to do what the courts tell him to do. Tom even thinks he gets a daily list as far as who to drug test and when, and that he pretty much doesn’t get to call the shots with that.

It just really bothers me that the courts have refused to acknowledge my efforts. I got a therapist before sentencing day, I had no write-ups in jail, I had no problems on the outs, yet none of it matters. No one gives a damn. Instead, everything’s what she wants while I’ve been treated like an object with no feelings that can be pushed around and used and abused at will, and in a sense, I’m a sucker for it. I mean, if you don’t want to go to jail or be on probation, don’t go to court. I could’ve ignored the damn freeloaders! They weren’t just a few feet away from us back in 2000. We should’ve paid Sharon off and been done with it. As much as Arizona loves to make a big stink out of nothing, I highly doubt they’d have come after us because I wouldn’t have been convicted and it’s not like I was wanted for murder.

It seems I spent most of my 20s worried I’d go insane due to depression. In my 30s I worry I’ll snap due to anger as the years of being abused by various people in various ways takes its toll on me. This is why I’m increasingly worried about what I may do when the next person comes to shove me around, make threats, etc.

Anyway, using my vibes to guide him, he found the problem with the phone which was causing our problems online. There was a faulty wire in the jack in the den, but since we’re going to go cellular once we upgrade the satellite, we’re not going to bother fixing it.

He found and fixed the latest car problem. It was a leak that he epoxied.

He says the reason they’ve got their hot water tank out in their yard is cuz it’s old and they’re no doubt hoping to sell it for scrap.

Last night I heard music for a few hours that I thought was coming from one of the rentals at first. Then, when I was in the kitchen, I suddenly realized I was hearing voices, and was like, what the hell?! So I opened a window and then I realized I was hearing a live band off in the distance. I could tell by the way there was talking over the music, though I couldn’t make out what was said. We’ve heard this before too, like two years ago.

I got an email from Michelle, Todd’s mom, thanking me for helping her and Mary correspond and for the jokes. She said she hates Mike Tyson (so do I!) and liked the joke pertaining to him. Also, she hopes she’s been of help to Mary and that she’s doing well, considering. I assured her Mary was quite appreciative of her.

She also enclosed a joke, and I’ll enclose that and her message in my next letter to Mary.

I’ve heard shots off in the distance this weekend. I wonder why they started up again. Usually, they start and keep going right up till they quit for the year.

I decided to drop one of the Ashton ballerinas for that 36” vinyl Chris doll kit that’s comparable in price.

I’m also going to get a 1-year membership for Webshots so I can have unlimited photo albums that’ll hold up to 60 photos per album, rather than 10 albums that only holds 24. The membership costs $20. This way I can also download as many pictures per day as I want.

I was able to tell what albums all the downloads came from as I was deleting albums, figuring I’d update them once I was a member which I’ll be when we get the 2-way satellite. A total of 42 doll pictures were downloaded. Wow! So, I left them on since they’re so popular. I got rid of the land, wildlife and pet pictures, though.

Little Fella got his first taste of ice cream today. He also came out and wandered around a bit, though he didn’t venture far. It’s still new to him and so he’s a bit nervous.

Later…

Tom says that the state has recognized my efforts and that’s why I got 3 years with only 6 months in jail, versus 3 years in prison with many more years of probation.

“That would’ve only been if I’d gone to trial and lost,” I told him, but even so, what I’ve gotten is far from good enough. Especially when no one should be punished in the first place over words on paper, and certainly not words to an adult. She had a choice as to whether or not she read anything I sent. No one held her at gunpoint and made her do so. The adult thing to do, had she not liked what she was reading, would’ve been to throw it out and move on.

What if I had been pregnant? To think that the state could and would take a mother away from a child, and cheat a woman out of the first few months/years of that child’s life over such petty nonsense, makes me utterly sick to my stomach!

He went to Circle K to test-drive the car, which is apparently holding up. While there, he picked us each up a pint of Haagen Dazs ice cream which sucks. At least the chocolate chip cookie dough kind does, cuz it’s all dough and no ice cream.

In case I didn’t already say so, I have a vibe on a goldish mid-70s pickup in mid-December.