I’m quite shocked and delighted to report that the computer problem actually turned out to be a quick, simple fix that didn’t take hours or cost anything. A computer has two little fans in it. One to keep the supply box from overheating, and then there’s the CPU fan (central processing unit) which is what got old and worn out. Tom simply replaced it with another one.

Just when I thought he might be right about the foul smell coming from the garbage disposal, and thinking the baking soda killed it, I got a whiff of it earlier, and I have a feeling it’s not going to be going away anytime soon. Especially if it’s connected to any evil entities like I think it may be, and me being the psychic one here, am more sensitive to it than Tom. Lucky him!

I did my 1-hour walk which came to 2 miles. If I was able to walk at a normal pace I’d probably have gone almost 3 miles, but this particular walker is designed to make it like you’re walking up a very steep incline, and that slows you down.

I’m trying to space my food between 4-hour gaps. This week’s menu consists of chicken for protein, popcorn for fun, potatoes to keep regular, and fruit for its vitamins. Knowing I was going to begin the diet today, I ate like crazy over the last few days so I’m back up to 130. If I can’t get under 127, then I’ll have to decide whether or not I want to just maintain that or see a doctor whenever we’re insured again. I should lose 2-3 pounds a week on a diet like this, so it’ll be a couple of weeks before my question is answered as to whether or not anything’s wrong.

I’m still going to try to make my uterus go bad when we’re insured too, but I don’t know if God will let me do that. He doesn’t like women in general and he obviously wants us to suffer more than men do. I also don’t know if I can cure my asthma or even make it better, because again, God wanted me to suffer in the first place. I just don’t know why or why any God would want to see so much pain and suffering occur on earth like it does.

As funny as it may sound, and although Tom’s been putting in job applications, it’d be best if he didn’t get a job till after the new year, given the timing of our billing cycle on the electricity and the satellite. He plans to use the remaining two Tuesdays of the month, which is when the unemployment check comes, to pay the electric bill and the satellite. Meanwhile, we’re going to lose the TV any second now. Fortunately for me, it’s no big loss. I never watch it anyway. All I’ve been watching are my CA episodes while I walk. You have to be late on the electric and satellite bills for a month before they can turn you off, so this is why he wants to make sure they get paid, whereas if he got a job now, it might be 2-3 weeks before we got a check which means that by then they’d have shut us off. Although our generator only needs a $1 part to function again, we don’t care to live off of this generator like we were doing when we were first moving in here!

I just wish I could snap my fingers and have it be a month from now! I’d at least like to know if we’re staying or going. My vibes have been swinging from one thing to another with that and I don’t know what to believe anymore. First we were going to Nevada, then northern Arizona, then we were staying right here, and now we’re stuck somewhere in Maricopa on 2-5 acres with people barely 50’ away. I try to tell myself, “Don’t worry about history repeating itself. The tormenting freeloaders you lived with was just a fluke.”

But it wasn’t just a “fluke.” Flukes don’t keep happening over and over again, even if they have variations of sorts along the way. As far as I’m concerned, it’s a curse when the same kinds of bad things keep happening. Identifying its source may not always be the key to removing it, but I’d sure like to be able to identify it someday, and I’d certainly like to get rid of it, too!

I still wonder – just what haunts this land that doesn’t want us here? And could we really be meant to never have money, and is that why God wants us out of here; so we lose out on making serious money off this place in the future as it continues to build up around here? Or does he just want to see me stuck back with people and their damn dogs again?

It’s gotten rather cold. It’s only 33° right now, and of course, Maricopa’s dogs are going off about it. They’ve been barking non-stop since I got up at midnight.

I hope I have Mary mail and my nose treats waiting for me at the PO today. I could really use it in the midst of all this poverty and uncertainty going on.

I just got a third mail-return, but only sent Miss Perfect two messages. Or tried to. I get this every now and then, but Miss Perfect’s the only non-business source of return. When I’d get mail returned claiming there was an error in delivery, they were when I’d try to unsubscribe from spammers whom I had thought deliberately set things up to reject those trying to unsubscribe to use as an excuse to keep badgering people.

I don’t know if my mail got through to Miss P., but I also don’t care anymore. It’s always been rather hard for me to care about those who don’t care about me. Tom will go visit after Christmas as soon as he can afford the gas to do so, then if need be, we’ll be done with them. It’ll depend on how the visit goes. I mean, sure it was nice of them to lend us money when we’d ask, but we don’t need people who can’t take the initiative to care and help us on their own, not to mention the way Mary treated me in the casino, her rude picture obsession, the possibility that they may be sending mail to people I asked them not to send mail to that they know I don’t like and that were abusive, rarely caring enough to call, then ignoring my birthday. It wouldn’t surprise me if they ended up blowing off Tom’s birthday as well. Like I always said, though, you can’t change people. All you can do is avoid the ones you don’t like, or at least try to anyway.