Again I dreamt we were in a house. It was a dump. The back door didn’t even have a lock. By law, they can’t rent houses without locks, so maybe it’s just symbolizing that yes, we may be able to get a house, but it’ll have to be another dump. I’d take a dumpy house over a dazzling apartment any day. Even though I was only in the kitchen in this dream, a Western apartment wouldn’t have a back door, so I knew it was a house.

The poster spirit, whom I’ve dubbed “Susie,” says we’ll be going to a house, so this will be her ultimate test to see if she’s for real or not.

When Tom explained just how much money we could sue for if they don’t send that Unemployment check next week, I came to believe right along with him that yes, they’ll send it. I’m sure God would rather us be able to get into a house than pocket about 6 grand, plus maybe even get my benefits reinstated, too. Besides, it’s not like the house would be any more peaceful than the Oregon dump was, just hopefully not as wild as an apartment or a duplex. The check will be for about a grand. If I’m right in assuming we’d need about $1600 to get into a house, then that’s just an extra hundred we’d need as opposed to an apartment.

I asked Tom if he thought I was keeping Tinkerbell alive and he said yes. The tumor’s now bigger than her head and she can barely get around. She never comes out anymore unless I take her out. But the good thing is that she doesn’t appear to be in any pain, and she still eats well which is her favorite thing to do. But despite her lack of pain and my love for her, should I let her go? Can I let her go? I know I don’t want to!

Later…

Today I got woken up 3 times, though not by Tom. He was fine, it was all the rude, attention-getters around us. Yeah, the place was anything but quiet today. It was very apartment-like. First I woke up because someone had to blast their music, then twice I woke up to door slamming, though I did sleep well otherwise. I got up at 7:00, and the housekeeper will be here around 9:00 the day after tomorrow.

Tom said the music went on for two hours and was coming from perhaps a few doors down. He also said people were slamming doors everywhere, and next door was blasting their TV, I guess to drown it out. We’ve got someone on the other side of us now too, who checked in yesterday. Being in the West, of course, no one would complain about it any more than they’d ever complain about the car stereos, barking dogs or screaming kids. Tom said he considered calling but didn’t want to disturb me. I was already disturbed, I told him, so anytime he wants to call about whatever, he can just do so.

Why can’t they just shut up??? Why do they all have to make such a show of themselves everywhere we go? Everyone wants to shine, to stand out, to be heard, noticed, recognized and acknowledged, and to hell with who gets put out along the way. They just gotta take center stage no matter what! People are a problem everywhere and today was just another reminder of how important it is to try to grab the wheel of the driver’s seat of our lives and get as far away from them as possible. I wouldn’t want an apartment these days even if I was a sound sleeper who could always sleep at night. Sleeping is only half the problem. The other half is trying to live and function in peace while I’m awake. The stereos are too loud to deal with apartments these days, let alone the stomping and door slamming. When I was last in apartments you could only hear blasting stereos in apartments you were connected to, not those a few doors down!

Someone’s also got a dog here that barks every so often. It’s not nearly as often or as loud as the canal dog was, but it’s audible.

I hope that since we’re coming up to the weekdays again people will quiet down. I also hope we have a better idea this week of how much longer we’ll be here. This place is still quieter than any apartment could ever be so I’d still rather hold out longer for a house than leave here quicker for an apartment. Even if the apartment had a 3-month lease, that’s plenty of time to drive me either completely insane or to beat the snot out of someone. And if that someone happens to be black or Hispanic, they’re going to insist I did it because of that and not because they were rude assholes. And who do you think would be believed?

I wish those adjacent and underneath us would check out, but that’s just the thing. This isn’t an ordinary motel. Not everyone stays here for just a night or two. Besides, if they left, someone else would check right in.

Jessie thanked me for the latest link I sent, saying that with the expenses she has, bringing Bella to Disneyland is getting harder to accomplish. Yeah, that’s why I haven’t wanted kids for so long. It’s hard enough to accomplish things for just Tom and me. So Bella’s her daughter’s name? That was my nicer grandmother’s name. It means beautiful in Italian. I wouldn’t have guessed she would give her such a boring name. I pictured her naming her something like Ashley, Meagan or Brittney.

She still doesn’t know if she’s moving yet. She should just be glad she’s in a house!

I decided to mail in the beauty basket forms by regular mail since these fax machines can’t be trusted and since they charge too much. The bigger the win, the harder it is to get them to me, so it seems, and the more they cost. But sending the forms by regular mail will not only up the chances of their delivery, but it’ll also be the cost of a stamp instead of $6.

The gunsight is going to be delivered tomorrow, so hopefully we can turn that worthless win into some cash, even if it’s only a fraction of what it’s worth. I compiled a list of half a dozen gun shops for Tom to take it to in Sacramento, Elk Grove and Rancho Cordova. It’s worth about $250, so we’ll probably get $50 for it. UPS called with an automated message saying it’d be delivered tomorrow and needs to be signed for. That’s the good of having the mail place. Sure I miss having stuff delivered right to me when I’m awake, but when I’m not awake it’s nice to know someone will sign for things, even though Tom has to pick them up.

I’ve been backing up my documents in Yahoo’s Notepad. It’s a very time-consuming task because you can only put about 10 pages of text in each file. I’m going to end up with over 500 files that way, but at least there doesn’t seem to be a file limit, which makes no sense. If you’re going to allow someone that many files, why not let them put more in them?

Someone just slammed their door twice really hard. Now that’s not someone trying to draw attention to themselves? Yeah, right!

At least I’m back to kicking ass on Netwinner!