Another day at the circus and we’re not much closer to leaving it anytime soon either. I’ve got my headphones on now, though I can feel the rumbling of footsteps underneath my chair. I swear some people want to annoy others and they go out of their way to do it, too. This is way, way beyond extreme! I didn’t know a motel room could possibly be this insane. The shaking would be maddening even if I were fully awake and well-rested. They’re not just stomping through the walkways, but in their rooms, too. And of course we have to listen to the stereos as well in the parking lot and driving down the main road. We are sooo cursed with noise! I know we’ll never get to live in peace and I’m not used to quiet places anyway, but this is total overkill. Even being squeezed into a tooth house on someone’s driveway and with their dog would be heaven compared to this, but I’m sure God will see to it that all we can afford is an apartment. He already helped see that we stay put. Yeah, we tried to move, but it’s so filled up here that there was no other room available. It was a total zoo here till 2:30 last night. A second floor with these flimsy floors was definitely a bad idea. We’d still get banging on the first floor, but not all the vibration from people stomping back and forth. Maybe someday I’ll learn that I’m simply not meant to live in peace. I haven’t lived in peace for nearly 20 years, so why should I think I ever will? Well, I know I won’t, I’m just still having a hard time accepting it. I still don’t see what I ever did to deserve this year after fucking year, decade after fucking decade. God didn’t deny us that apartment to ultimately do us a favor, He did it cuz He plans to throw us to the wolves. And why not drive me a little batty before actually doing so?

I had to get Claritin because my ear got so clogged up, but it isn’t doing a damn thing for my hunger this time around. Don’t worry, God, I’ll stay fat. You have complete control over that, too.

I heard from Mary, and surprisingly fast, too. She was glad to hear from me, and the closest she came to asking for any favors was to say that I could scan any copies of any pictures she sends and send her copies, but as I’ll tell her, I can’t even access my printer! Also, I’m not sending pictures until she gets out. There are too many problems getting them into her with all the power-hungry control freaks there and all their asinine rules.

She said she nearly shit when she read I won the Italy trip because that’s her dream vacation. I wish I could sell it to her! Ain’t life grand that way, though? Whatever your dreams are, there’s always someone else waiting to live them out for you.

She doesn’t know what’s going on with her case but says that in November of next year, she’ll have a 10-year sentence completed with 85% of the “good behavior” she needs. She says her lawyer says that after her testimony and the 10 years, she’ll be going home. Didn’t he tell her that years ago, and is she going to be released in November of ’08 or what?

She’s not sure where home is. Her brother in North Carolina said he’d let her stay with him, but she also wants to be in Arizona where her son is. She’s just “friends” with José these days because he’s immature and selfish, another thing I tried to tell her years ago, but she wasn’t ready to hear it. Like she could ever be anything more with the guy anyway what with the fact that he’s locked up for life!

She’s still into working out, meditation and praying (glad it works for one of us!).

I also heard from Jessie who said: “New beginnings for both of us, maybe you do bring good luck and good influence.”

Yeah, well, we’ll see just how long we’re stuck here, where we end up, and how broke we end up, too. Tom says that we should be ok cuz we don’t have any grand plans this time. Just trying to find a peaceful place to live is a grand plan in itself! It’ll never happen. I know it, God knows it, so why can’t I just accept it?

Jessie said it was weird not hearing from me, but I didn’t want to bombard her with too many emails.

She says her landlady tried to scam her and hopes her husband’s son moves out ASAP. She can’t wait to move but says it’s kind of scary moving back into the other house with her husband, though as I said, sometimes you just gotta go for it.