All was running smoothly yesterday up until around 4pm after I’d been up 14 hours. I was baking a potato in the toaster oven and working on my computer in the bedroom when I saw a baby spider coming down on its web near the front window. I remembered feeling webs tickling me a few times earlier in the day and hoped it wasn’t a sign of what I thought it might be. But sure enough, one by one, the nightmares fell upon me, from the ceiling, from the walls, from the closet near where I sat, from EVERYWHERE. It was just like in this apartment I once had in Springfield, MA in the mid-80s, only this time, as obvious as it was that a newly hatched batch of spiders had taken over the place, I couldn’t find the nest. I knew it wouldn’t have mattered even if I could, though, for The Enemy had already been unleashed. It had arrived, it was here, and it was determined to pick on me. I was wondering when Oswego St. would repeat itself, I just didn’t think it’d take 20 years.

It’s amazing just how much those things seem to know who to pick on as if they can sense who’s afraid of them like dogs can. If I didn’t know any better I’d think they conspired to gang up on me with the “boss” telling the other spiders, “Ok, you attack from the left, you get her from behind, I’ll take the right…”

I was not only rearranging the bathroom yesterday but the front bedroom window as well. I hate light in bedrooms and must sleep in pitch-black darkness whenever I can, so I put some foil in the front window. It also helps with the fierce morning sun we get in the summer. My guess is that in doing so, I stirred up a nest that was somewhere within that window or my little makeshift curtain which is actually a dark nu-nu blanket that blocks light very well.

I went flying out of the bedroom and was about to bust on out the front door to spray outside that window when Tom, who was sitting at his computer which is in the living room, asks me what’s up. I tell him, and of course he’s like, calm down, will ya?

Calm down my ass!

I thought of D and knew she’d probably be laughing her ass off at my hysteria, for not much scares her. Not much usually scares me either, but spiders just have to be one of them, unfortunately. I don’t know why, though. I’m not afraid of rats, mice, snakes and things most people are afraid of. But spiders, bees and other loathsome insects just make my skin crawl!

“Where? Where? Where?” Tom kept asking when I was pointing out the nightmares dropping down on their webs.

“Right there!” I shouted. “Why are you so damn blind, dude? Your eyes are better than mine.”

Finally, he saw a trio of spiders having a party on some clothing I had on my dresser.

“Ok, so what do you want to do?” he asks me next.

“I want to get our asses moving so we can bomb and blow these mothers up, that’s what I want to do.”

“You sure? I know you gotta be getting pretty tired coming to the end of your day and all that.”

“Like I could sleep knowing these things would be coming down on me? Move it!”

So I turned off the oven, we prepped the place, threw the rat on the porch, and sat in the car for the next couple of hours while we set the bombs off with the deadliest of the last two bombs we had in the bedroom. This resulted in one lost potato and a few lost dollars on the job site, but it definitely gained me peace of mind knowing that the army of terrors was being executed. That’s the one negative to being in a warmer climate; you’re fair game to bugs year-round.

“That’s the last of both our indoor and outdoor defenses. We’ll have to restock our arsenal.”

So he got to enjoy two minutes on the laptop after its 3-year-old battery died, and I listened to my iPod, occasionally having to yell for Whiskey to shut the hell up.

Yeah, the barking’s been horrible. Much louder and more frequent for some reason. Jesse doesn’t usually take off on weekends until between 9am and noon, yet by 7:30 this morning they were already going off.

You would think that we’d be entitled to have something done about all the racket and that Jesse should be made to take responsibility for the damn dogs, but not in the West! If one formal complaint from whoever’s on the other side of him wouldn’t work, since all he has to do is say, “There’s nothing I can do about it when I’m gone, and hey, it’s not my fault I’m hardly ever home,” then nothing would ever work.

After we came back inside and aired the place out, I quickly sent a message to D to let her know why I took off like I did. She emailed me today asking if she should leave this married woman alone who likes her and that she also likes, even though the guy’s on his way out. She sure has a knack for attracting those married ladies!

By the time I hit the sack I’d been up 18 hours, so I was exhausted. I thought I’d have spider nightmares, but instead I was back in jail. I guess that was triggered by the fact that I’ve been posting excerpts from my time there. Yeah, I discussed the inmates in the last post and will discuss the officers in the next. Believe me, they’ll be more interesting than the inmates!

It was nice to wake up the next morning, not only safe from spiders but to messages from D AND Eileen AND Dorian AND Paul. D asked me not to mention online what’s going on with her, Eileen’s looking forward to spending time at the beach with her granddaughter, Dorian commented on an entry, and Paul flattered me by saying I’ll eventually be published, even though I think he stands much more of a chance than I do. I haven’t really even been trying, though, because I know there’s not much money to be made in writing unless you get so famous they turn your books into movies.

He said my journal sure is picking up hits on his site, but unfortunately he’s not getting much feedback on this UK-based site other than people trying to sell him vacuum cleaners. In time, though, I’m sure sales will pick up again. Especially as the economy improves.

Later…

My body was ready for sleep, but my mind wasn’t. My mind said, “Get up and write!”

Paul and Dorian have been my top two cyber buds for some time now and at the rate they’re going, they probably always will be. But I guess a while back they had a disagreement back where we all met which was at the Bookmania. Then Dorian sent me a message to say hi to Paul and let him know that while it may not help, he’ll be happy to put the link to his book page on his site and that he doesn’t hold any grudges. That’d be way nice if my top cyberbuds could be pals! Or at least get along.

I found Misha on both Facebook and MySpace. At least I think I did. Just like I’ve learned that you can make a friend online, you really can make one in jail, too. While a lot of inmates are scum-sucking losers I wouldn’t give the time of day to, a lot of them are also just people the same as anyone else who sometimes make mistakes that have a lot of good in them. My top cellies were Mary, Rosa, Marilyn and Misha.

Anyway, I sent her a message on both sites, but don’t know if I’ll hear back from her. It appears she married and had a child. I know she wanted one and I remember thinking she’d make a good mom. She hasn’t logged into her MySpace account since 2008, though, so I don’t know that she’ll get the messages. I hope she does. It’d be nice to say hello and to hear from her. She was a very quiet, reserved person, yet very friendly and bright at the same time. She never seemed to be sad, moody or unstable in any way and she never made me feel uncomfortable during the time we were cellies. She was a very mellow, pleasant person to be around.

I have been asked to describe what I look like. I’m 4’ 11”, 125 pounds, and kind of athletic looking. You can see good muscle tone mostly in my upper arms and shoulders as well as my abs and calves. I run, ride my bike, lift weights and do a million ab crunches to get this way. I have green eyes and curly brown hair with some gray at the temples. It grows very fast and goes from my shoulders to my ass in just 4 years. Right now, when it’s wet and the curl is pulled straight, it is nearly to the middle of my back. I cut it every 4-5 years when I get tired of sitting on it and dealing with the weight of it. So since I cut it in January 2009, my next haircut will probably be in 2013. I’m fair-skinned and don’t have any wrinkles yet, but am starting to sag in some places, LOL. Is that a good enough description?