Another day without the troll peeking in on me or trying to contact me, though as Aly and I agree, she’ll be back when she decides she’s done nothing wrong or nothing happens as a result of contacting the police.

I left Nane a message to let me know when she gets done toying with me, reminding her that two can play her game and that I just might be the better player. :) Just curious to see her reaction, if any.

Andy’s been on my mind a lot more than any troll or superficial friends have been. He’s been without power for days. It was only just yesterday that one of his brothers got their power restored so he and his mom could stay there and take their first shower in days. Before that, they played cards by candlelight and had to sleep with lots of blankets. They ate breakfast at home but had other meals in restaurants, something that’s got to be pretty expensive.

While I totally feel bad for him, something he said was a stark reminder of just how much more loved and looked out for from above he truly is compared to me. As I told him in our email messages, I’m not trying to play down his situation in any way for trauma is trauma. But when he described it as the worst trauma he ever experienced, I wished to hell I could claim such an ordeal, which probably won’t last much more than a week, was my worst trauma! But something like that would be so very far from even coming close to my worst of traumas, and yes, there have been more than one. A week or so without electricity would be a blessing compared to some of the abuse I experienced at home as a child or being tossed in foster homes, funny farms, and private schools run like prisons. It would be nothing compared to all the ear surgery I had, breaking my arm, and going through the hell I went through with my asthma landing me in the ER so many times like it did in the 90s. It’s nothing compared to having your choice to have a child taken from you, even if I came to totally agree with God’s decision in the end. It’s nothing compared to all the opportunities I might’ve lost out on to experience true lust other than in my imagination and stories. It’s nothing compared to doing half a year in jail, guilty or innocent, then month after month in seedy hotels with 36 hours of homelessness sprinkled in along the way, and numerous poverty trips. Believing your only choices are suicide or a slow death on the streets because you’re out of money and don’t see any way of getting any more until what seems like a miracle comes and saves your ass is a truly traumatic situation!

Unlike most people, we don’t have any friends or family in the area to run to in case of a crisis like what he’s going through. Sometimes I wish my closest friends weren’t in Massachusetts, Connecticut, Nebraska, Ohio, North Carolina or other countries, but they are where they are.

Started working on my story again yesterday even though it wasn’t without Jesse distracting me with that damn ATV of his. He didn’t come down here, but I still can’t figure out where he’s going on the thing or what he’s doing. But you know him – always gotta be working on something. Of all the lazy guys out there in this world, this one can’t sit on his ass unless it’s hot or raining. I think if he doesn’t have anything that absolutely needs to be done around here, he’ll make something up. This guy obviously wanted to live in the country not to escape having to have people so close to him, but so he could have land to play around on.