Despite the fact that I have known for years that my artificial ear canal would be a problem for the rest of my life, it still bums me out to know I’m going to have to be in pain nearly every fucking day of my life. Unless it’s caused more by my teeth than I realize, though when Tom looked in it he said it needed to be oiled. It can’t shed dead skin like a normal canal so we have to deal with it ourselves. If God had just given me two normal ears I wouldn’t be going through this shit. As if all the other shit He dealt me in life weren’t enough?!

I hope last night’s dream was nothing to worry about, though it didn’t scare me or leave me with any bad feelings. I was in a huge room with an Olympic-sized pool. It was fairly crowded, but I don’t know who the people were or where I was. I wouldn’t go in the pool cuz it was too cold so someone suggested a smaller pool that was long and narrow and ran alongside the big pool. As I stepped down into it I slipped and was “swept” away by a current I hadn’t seen. I was taken through a set of double swinging doors a few seconds later sort of like you’d see in a restaurant and next thing I know I’m in total darkness, water now racing fast.

The dogs shut up earlier than I expected last night so I got to have some peace. Doesn’t sound like Jesse’s gone anywhere tonight, though it’s still a little early.

We hit the 30s for the first time this year. :( Meanwhile, my spoiled, blessed and pampered folks get to enjoy a low of 72º tonight.

How does one read a blog they don’t even know exists? I wonder this because Alison told me she read the troll’s newest blog and she was saying she hadn’t bothered us in two weeks and we should stop reading her blog. Yet I not only haven’t read any of her lies and delusions for a while now, but I didn’t recognize the blog name and address that Aly gave me. That’s ok, though, Molly’s the type of person to write something like how she ran into me in the streets of Texas and truly believe it, too.

LOL, Jenny C blocked me after my “You still fucking my brother?” message. I check every now and then to see if there’s any change within her virtually empty profile. It had been a while so I checked today and she finally picked up the message and blocked me.

I was also surprised to find my aunt Ruth now has a Facebook profile and kind of surprised her daughter Polly, now married with 3 kids, does too. I did notice that Philip’s not on either of their friend lists. Is this because they don’t get along or because he just doesn’t have an account? It’s hard to believe Philip wouldn’t have an account. I wondered the same thing, though, with my niece Jennifer. She had her mom added, but not her slutty dad.

Either way, I said a quick hello to them, curious if they would appear on my visitor log (if they haven’t got their cookies disabled) but I don’t expect to hear from them or that they’d be curious about my journal. Remember, people tend to see us as they last remember us to be, not who we are today. So I’m the “crazy” troublemaker in their little minds who shouldn’t be bothered with.

I could not agree with this article I read more! But sadly, it appears that equality will never exist in the state I dreamed of living in for so many years only to become utterly disgusted and ashamed of it.