After 11 days of no visits from the troll, it returned earlier today. Yeah, we knew that promise of never looking us up would only last so long. But what’s weird was that she never visited Alison’s blog. Why would she come to me first? Isn’t Alison supposed to be the root of her obsession?

I wasn’t exactly in a great mood earlier. The fucking cock up the hill woke me up at 8:30 with some loud vehicle. It took me one Benadryl and one hour to fall back asleep. I don’t know if he was getting a propane delivery or if it was something he was running, but thanks to my being dumb enough not to have the sound machine on loud enough, it woke me up. It’s kind of sad that I have to literally blast the shit out of the fucking thing out in the country when I’m on nights. Why can’t this one person who’s over 100’ away shut the fuck up?! I wish it would rain the bastard indoors, but more rain means more bulldozing to have to listen to, so he’s going to be noisy either way during the week since he just can’t sit still and shut the hell up. So many guys out there want to do nothing but sit indoors in front of the TV. Why can’t this one?!

God help his kid should his mother die and he has to come live here. Jesse would just turn him into a regular little land slave and use him as an aid to his millions of projects.

If the prick wakes me up again I’m going to go outside and make just enough sound to stir the dogs up. That’ll wake him up for sure.

God, I would be such a little cock beater if the scales had been tipped the other way and I’d been attracted to them more often than women with the way they can be so damn annoying! Good thing that wasn’t the case lest I end up in jail forever, though not many men would report getting the shit kicked out of them by a woman. That’s why it’s hard to really gauge just how many men really are beaten by women same as it’s hard to gauge how many women are raped. They’re just too ashamed and embarrassed to step forward.

Paula usually ends up beating up on her boyfriends and she told me that the last one did in fact report it and she had to go to court and all that. I’m wondering if she’s in jail now for assault because it’s not like her to go this long without contacting me. I guess she attacked him for cheating on her.

I deleted some of the questions and comments about Nane. Yes, she played with my feelings in a way that was both unnecessary and unfair to me, but I shouldn’t use this blog to bash her. I said what happened and why and I should just leave it at that. I don’t regret the time we had any more than I do with Marie, my first cyber GF of sorts. I didn’t love Nane, but I did come to love Marie. Marie was, after all, someone I once went to school with and that I shared much more in common including what country we live in. But Marie was crazy and Nane was a head player, so that pretty much ends the cyber GF phase.

Someone said to me, “Come on, no relationship is perfect. What’s not so perfect about Tom who you seem to really praise and love so much? If you guys are more like just friends – well – you’re still only human. So what do you do about that human side or is that something you would never tell anyone about or write about?”

No, I wouldn’t tell or write about it, so I won’t even go there. And they’re right; just because Tom’s a helluva guy doesn’t make him perfect. I don’t care for the sexual side of things, though it was kind of interesting at first, and the guy can be a real slob too. I can usually get him to clean up after himself if I get on him enough about it, but there’s only so much one can do to change another person in bed. They are how they are, and well, men in general just don’t seem to have a goddamn clue as to what they’re doing if they don’t have some kind of problem to begin with. Not trying to be mean, but I’ve been there enough times to know what it’s like to have this one not be able to perform and that one not be able to perform, if they aren’t rough, fucking up, taking too long, in a hurry, or just never in the mood. To be a bit fairer I will say that I had a couple of women who weren’t the greatest either, not so much because they didn’t know what they were doing but because they wanted it every second! So much for thinking only the guys want it all the time. My husband has always had a low appetite, and like most of us when we age, I noticed a decline in my own drive starting in my late 30s.

While Tom is not your “typical male” in almost every way possible and is one of the few good-looking guys I’ve ever seen (IMO), I was drawn to him mostly for his amazing personality. Every other man or woman I’ve been with got with me for either just my looks or because of what they believed they could get me to become as opposed to who I was. I believe that if you don’t love someone unconditionally so long as there’s no abuse, then you never truly loved them to begin with. So if you’re thinking of buddying up to me because you think you can get me to like sauerkraut, think again!

So there. Now you know some more “intimate” details about me, and despite how open-minded Tom is and the fact that I don’t keep secrets from him, if I’m seeing anyone locally on the side, that will never be known to anyone no matter how much I may trust them.

They backed Tom’s hours up from 6am - 2:30pm and it was funny cuz he forgot to go home, LOL. He worked an extra 10 minutes till he realized – oh yeah, it’s time to go.

Poor Becky. She’s now separated after 20 years of marriage, but I guess her husband’s really losing it and she had no choice. Especially since he threatened to choke their teenage daughter to death. So as she said, their 3 kids and their safety come first.

Typical male, though, either making sure the woman doesn’t get pregnant in the first place or abusing any kids he does let her have or deciding he “never wanted” them.

Nothing interesting in the way of dreams. Just staying at some house with some fictitious characters from a book I wrote quite a while ago.

I wrote 3031 words last night and hopefully, I’ll get at least another 1600 done tonight. So that’s it. I’m off to enjoy another night of pain and hunger, though I’m already down 3 pounds since jumping back on the diet wagon.

Nothing from Maliheh tonight but I know she’s going to make sure she doesn’t contact me for 2-3 weeks.

Do I think the pigs are watching me online? Probably not, but if they are then that would be very sad to know that they would put time and money into me and not into real criminals. It’s their time and bucks, though, so let them waste it. Either way, if I’m going to receive anything they had the courts send it should be by this week, I would think.