Manson’s finally dying. I thought that guy would never die. The two things the media loves to do most are lie and not give the full story, so I can’t say why he’s dying. Apparently, he was in the hospital earlier in the year because of intestinal bleeding and the doctor said he was too weak to be operated on so he sent him back to prison. What really probably happened is that the doctor refused to spend his time and the taxpayer’s money on operating on the bastard, not that I don’t agree with this. I know doctors are sworn to save lives but not everyone does what they’re sworn to do. If that was the case then a lot more cops would be serving and protecting instead of bullying and abusing. The prison personnel must be thrilled not just because of who he is but how he is. Dealing with crazies is not an easy job at all.

Once again my health is interfering with my life as it has for much of the last three years. I feel really rundown and I don’t know if I could describe the feeling in my head as lightheaded or dizzy but it’s sort of like my head feels compressed and fuzzy. Like there’s a strange vibration almost within my head. I feel a little weak and sometimes I go from hot to cold. I don’t feel like I have a cold but I don’t know if it’s connected to PMS or if my good ear could be infected. I’ll have Tom help me treat it with both earwax removal stuff as well as peroxide and alcohol when he gets up. I just feel so damn rundown that all I want to do is lay in bed. My biggest concern is that the anxiety might return. I still have no reason to think I’m over that since I only last felt anxious a couple of months ago. It is promising, however, since it’s been just over four months since I’ve needed lorazepam. If only I could get to next spring without anxiety!

It’s been raining steadily since I got up nearly 5 hours ago. The winter sure is off to a wet start. I figured it would be. It’ll dry up once we get the new roof.

I may officially declare myself a NaNo loser because I lack the energy and the ideas for the second book I had planned. The first one is a done deal, though. It’s just not long enough to win.

Jon said Ray didn’t know how he managed to send me the Messenger invite. I thought it was weird to get a thumbs up and a Messager invite in response to my question, so I sent the guy another message saying that Jon said it was sent by accident and that I was confused at first by his response but not to worry about it. Lastly, it was still nice to have an incentive to download Facebook Messenger.

He got the message but ignored it, so I guess that yeah, he has some kind of issue with me that only he knows about. My only guess is that it might have to do with me being annoyed by the racket Bob used to make. I don’t care what his problem is, though. It’s on him, not me.

Although it means a lot more editing to be done, I really like using speech-to-text for blogging when I’m on the skier. It makes the time on it pass by quicker as opposed to when I’m reading, listening to music or watching shows. I’m just trying to infuse my body with some energy so I can do things, but I’m not having much luck after 10 minutes of skiing. I just hope whatever the hell’s going on with me doesn’t go on and on for weeks, and I really hope this December isn’t anything like the last one. I felt like shit throughout most of December, mostly due to anxiety. I’m calm so far, but there’s no saying how I’ll feel later on.