I dreamed that my mother died all over again only this time I learned of it from I don’t know who. I was trying to get a hold of Tammy to ask why she didn’t tell me herself. Before this, I was talking to the mystery guy that notified me. After spelling my name wrong and then correcting myself, I gave him my name to verify my identity. Then I was showing him my passport in person a split-second later.

In another dream, I was standing in my maternal mother’s bathroom and saying, “It looks so old now but seems smaller than I remember.”

In real life, we went out to Jack-in-the-Box as well as Walmart yesterday. It was pretty dead and it would’ve been quiet save for the blasting music in both places. I really hate having loud music forced on me when I eat and shop. Is this a California thing or does this happen everywhere?

Anyway, I got a breakfast platter full of calories and cholesterol I definitely don’t need, and then I got a few things on clearance at Walmart. A pink sleepshirt with sheep all over it to lounge around in, super comfortable pink and purple shoes with a memory foam sole (size 4 girls), and the perfect shade of light pink lipstick that’s noticeable but doesn’t stand out like a neon sign in the night.

The sleep shirt has a small tear in the seam at the side so I’ll have to sew that. Should only take a sec.

Wish I could say I was feeling great but I’m not right now. I feel a touch anxious so I may skip my meds tomorrow to play it safe. We went out walking in the middle of the night and it was gorgeous. It was foggy and the air was dead still as it was dead quiet. I loved it and knew it was only a matter of hours before the peace was spoiled with the sounds of landscaping and traffic.

When we returned from what was just a 15-minute walk down to the lake and back I felt oddly fatigued as well as a bit wound up. I had some of my special tea but that didn’t help at all. Instead, I just felt drowsy on top of wound up. No racing heart, though, or hot flashes. Hopefully, some of the anxiety is just due to it being Monday morning and knowing he’s not going to be around as much the next five days.