I still don’t understand how I can be 40 miles away from the airport and hear dozens and dozens of planes every day while Andy is 19 miles away from an airport just as I used to be when I lived where he lives yet he hardly hears any. And how was it that we were just 6 miles from the airport in Phoenix and I still hardly heard any there too? I just don’t get all these fucking planes that no one else seems to have to deal with. Tonight’s pretty annoying. I’m hearing them as high as over 22k feet! I guess it’s all in the way the wind blows. This is obviously something I’m never going to get used to after all these years. No matter what, the constant whooshing sound of planes in here, even if it’s not that loud, is always going to annoy the fuck out of me. I just want to go a day here and there without hearing any! Or only hearing a few a day. At least it’s after 11:00 so they should be winding down for the night.

Andy really does have a very short memory span. Or does he? Sometimes I don’t know how much is due to his pot-destroyed brain or a twisted desire to annoy me. He knows I’m not religious, a God fanatic, or a fan of Trump yet I still get memes related to these things. It’s pointless trying to remind him yet again to save himself the trouble of sharing them because it will go in one ear and out the other. I’m at the point where I just ignore them but it still annoys me when a friend can’t respect my wishes.

Last night was a struggle to sleep with the mask. I just couldn’t get comfortable. I wore the thing for just over 4 hours but almost all of the time was while I was listening to my audiobook or tossing and turning. I only actually slept with it for about 20 minutes and then I checked the machine, saw the screen said it had been just over 4 hours which is the required minimum, and finally said, “Fuck it, I’m done.” So after being up for over 18 hours, I took the mask off so I could finally get at least some sleep without the added discomfort. I know it’s supposed to take time to get used to these things but what worries me is that I’ll never be able to and therefore I’ll be forced into chronic fatigue whether or not I really have that. Seriously, if I can’t get used to this thing somehow, I’m looking at a very hard rest of my life. Barely half the time will I have the energy to do much. Yet I don’t qualify for the Inspire they implant in your chest because you have to have moderate to severe sleep apnea for that and a BMI over 40.

If I could just get the fucking weight off maybe that would help right there, and fortunately, when Tom investigated the new insurance plan, he found that they deal with thyroid issues as well as weight loss. Eventually, I will hit them up about a way to get around the thyroid issues to get weight off without having to half-starve myself but I have a feeling that too, is going to be something I don’t qualify for. They don’t usually give weight loss drugs to the obese but to the morbidly obese instead.

I’m going to miss Galileo and I really hope the new insurance setup is better. But then there’s so much damn change in this world that just when I get used to it, it will change or we’ll have to change something. I hate that! It’s definitely going to save us money no matter what I think of it in the end.

On the subject of money, he’s having a hard time finding a job because job openings are down and they want recent work history which he doesn’t have. It seems everybody wants full-time too but he only wants part-time. There’s still a possibility of delivering papers which would only be about 8 hours a week over two days but would fall $150 below his monthly target. He had hoped for $800 but it doesn’t look like he’s going to get that.

I took my second dose of antibiotics and I’m going to be taking another one in a few hours. I’ve had a lot of burning and flank pain and I really hope this is a UTI I’m dealing with and not a kidney infection or something else, and that this is enough to kill it. AI said that nitrofurantoin might not be good enough for kidney infections.

Tom is going to mention his essential tremor to his doctor because he’s been shakier lately. Even I’ve noticed it. Now he can’t even hold his phone still enough to take pictures. I worry about him becoming disabled and also broke that neither of us can work. I get that we can never literally be penniless again since we have the retirement money but there is always a slim chance of homelessness. If we couldn’t afford this place, I don’t know where we could afford to live because it’s pretty cheap here. Neither of us would opt for homelessness over death, though. We wouldn’t and couldn’t put ourselves through that, especially at our ages and with my medical conditions. If this is ever a real risk it isn’t in the near future so that’s definitely not my biggest concern right now. Right now I just want my energy back and to cure whatever the hell’s going on with me.

There’s no bacteria in my pee but WBC and occult blood were still present. Just not quite as much this time so whatever it is isn’t progressing. To the best of my knowledge, it can’t be anything cancerous.

Back to the sleep issues. Again, I don’t know if there are gods, devils, or whatever but when I think about it, it’s just my shit luck that I would develop sleep apnea or at least get fat enough for it to be a problem because my sleep has always been cursed in one way or another all my life.

All. My. Life.