After I scold Jessie (not directly) in my mind or journal for not checking in more often, I end up feeling bad—especially since there usually seems to be a reason why, or so she says. Anyway, we got to chatting a bit, and she's not as anti-women as I thought. She said that while she agrees abortion is okay in cases of medical emergencies, rape, or incest, she doesn’t understand why people think abortion is birth control. I agree. While birth control can and does fail at times, a lot of abortions could be eliminated with common sense. The problem is that people think the rhythm method or yanking it is a permanent solution—if they even bother to think at all.

I slept shitty as ever, so I’m tired today. Part of the reason I woke up a lot was because I need to skip a dose. I appreciated the extra energy I had yesterday, but I was a bit wired and still felt that way when I woke up in the middle of my sleep to pee. My heart rate was elevated, and I also had a slight suffocating feeling. It’s definitely going to be a long, tired day and a “pam” night. Hopefully, the clonazepam will help me get better sleep next time around. But I swear, I’m cursed for life—no matter what I do! It’s like I became the new traffic when we moved with the snoring. So I’m sure that after getting used to my next CPAP, whatever’s cursing my sleep will just find another way to fuck with my sleep. Maybe some kind of pain will keep waking me up.

For two days in a row, I had gas and nausea, and I suspect it could be the sugar-free treats I had. If not, there might be something wrong with the pork ribs I got, even though they look, smell, and taste fine. My next guess is the apple slices I got. I’ll start by eliminating the treats. I don’t want to cut out too much at once or I won’t be able to isolate the problem. This morning, I woke up with a similar cramp-like sensation in my lower abdomen, but on the other side. So I’ve definitely got some kind of digestive issue going on. I just hope it isn’t an infection. I don’t think it is, though.