The latest is that Debbie’s realtor Lori “thinks” she’ll accept the deal but wants us to be the ones to take care of the ground cover in front, so Home Depot is going to be delivering 30 bags of bark tomorrow. We hate bark but it’s one of the cheapest things you can get that isn’t so heavy like the pea gravel they used to have there. It will cost $250.

We’re going to really try as hard as we can to qualify for a co-op where we can own both the land and the house and not have to be bossed around like a couple of kids.

He trimmed some of the bushes that were hanging down over onto Nancy’s place where she keeps her trash bins. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it too because they were hanging over so much that she had to pull the bins out and couldn’t push them back against the retaining wall.

Tomorrow’s the deadline and Debbie has to either accept our offer or back out. I just want to know what’s going on for sure one way or the other! But we don’t know when her house will be out of escrow and therefore when ours can go into escrow. For now, it’s at least looking very likely that we’ll be out of here in two weeks!

Went for a walk, one of the VERY few things I’ll miss. Just down to the lake and back, so I’ll need to do another 15 minutes on the treadmill at some point.

Been having fun creating my own fragrances with my oils. I mixed ylang-ylang with lavender and it smells wonderful. Maybe I’ll add a drop of patchouli next time.

We went to Rite Aid earlier and I picked up some Moscato and strawberry incense. This incense is very strong but it definitely smells like strawberries. I’ll try to save most of it for after bombings to help get that gross poisonous smell out of the air. Living in Florida we’re going to have to bomb a lot more than we do here.

Got the hiccups really bad. Bent over and swallowed two times with my head upside down and it stopped it. Works every time. :-)

I miss wearing toe rings so I ordered a set of 3 for $21. They’re silver and one has clear gemstones while another is wider with a vague floral design. Then there’s one that’s just a plain silver band.

Also ordered what should be our final set of clear plastic storage bins for the move.

So now I have just two Twitter accounts, one for what’s going on and the other for my health. Maybe I’ll create a third one for Vocaroo or just add some voice posts into my what’s-going-on account. It’s obvious Twitter is never going to come through with voice tweets for Android. ☹

Molly doesn’t seem to notice I’m gone yet, that’s how stuck on herself she is. A week after Aly cut ties with her, she checked her tweets and said that the fact that she wasn’t even mentioned told her something rather clear about the selfish drama queen.

OMG, there’s been TONS of barking all around here. It’s never been this bad here before and even Mrs. Twenties is getting annoyed by it. But I can’t tell who it is. Gerry? Santa? Down the street? Somewhere else? I’m so glad we’re moving even though we’re just going to the same thing…until we get soundproofed, go rural, or both.

Or maybe we’re not going to the same thing as I don’t know if I want to go to another park after all the shit I’ve experienced here. Now the fucking park is making even more demands such as needing to give them 60 days’ notice, cleaning the carport, demanding an old rusty cabinet in the back corner be moved, and ground cover in front added.

It’s all I can do to keep from going down to the office and beating the shit out of them. I don’t care if it’s just a fucking form letter! I knew things were going too well too fast and that there were bound to be obstacles. And why the fuck didn’t Pierce tell us about the 60-day thing? He emailed him but who knows how long it will be before we hear back from him?

Yesterday all he did was text us to say that it was up to us what we wanted to do with the door locks and smart switches, so we decided to take the lock in the front door which we like better, and the two smart switches.

I’m too pissed to focus on finishing this entry right now. I’ll add to it when I know more.

Update… He talked to Pierce and we offered Debbie 2K to do what she wants herself. The 60-day thing is nothing to worry about. We just have to hope she accepts our offer because she has until Friday to back out. I was worried about this too. I just sensed she might be picky even though, to be honest, her demands aren’t unreasonable. It’s just a question of whether or not she’s going to ask for more. We’re willing to go as high as 6K. It would be worth it to get the fuck out of here in 2 weeks as planned. We won’t know anything else until tomorrow but we just want to get the fuck out of here already!

That’s twice Molly has now begged me to contact Roman and Kathy who want nothing to do with her to tell them she lost her grandmother and now a cousin. Does she really think they’re going to feel sorry enough for her to want to allow her back into their lives? She is incredibly dumb and naïve! I can totally see why Aly got frustrated and cut ties with her. Everything is all about her and there’s just too much damn drama with her. She’s always angry, down, anxious, or something. Always fighting with people and stalking others.

I didn’t need that particular Twitter account anymore so I simply deactivated and I’m just going to ghost her as Aly did. She’s just too fucked in the head. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone so emotional. I hope she gets the help she needs once and for all. She could never be a true friend just like I once told Aly and I don’t want someone who basically doesn’t give a shit what’s going on with me and is only going to demand I help her stalk people that can’t stand her.

Got a text from Pierce saying he expects to get a report on the inspection today and he also gave us the number of the cleaning lady to verify what she wants and doesn’t want.

As I told Tom about a week ago, I doubted we would make it out of here before there was at least one more water shut-off, and sure enough, that’s exactly what’s going to happen for 6 hours on Thursday. I definitely won’t miss that and being afraid to take showers during the daytime in case they shut us off without warning!

We made what should be our final run to Goodwill and then stopped at Rite Aid. I didn’t get any sugary treats because I don’t want it fueling my anxiety or making my heart race but I did get a couple of small bottles of Pink Moscato, my new favorite. I still love Merlot but hate the way it stains my teeth.

I also got a travel-size bottle of powder for when we’re between homes.

Tom said he was checking out a petless park’s blog where they left a post saying they understand they’ve been getting complaints about service dogs but there’s nothing they can do about them. Yeah, funny how there’s never anything they can do about anything. Either way, I know there’s no escaping the dogs no matter where we go. They’ve been an issue for me since the 90s. Why would that change anytime soon? They’ve just been more of an issue in most other places than here. What I dread most is ending up next to someone who lets their dogs bark out of their lanai or open windows every time someone goes by or they hear something. Even with the soundproofing, I don’t wanna have to hear that shit when I’m outside. This last year has been the barkiest here, mostly thanks to Gerry’s mutt and one down the street. Plus there are Santa’s dogs.

We learned that it’s called a lanai if the porch is screened and a Florida room if it’s got regular windows. I guess I would prefer a Florida room because that would add space to the house.

Had a funny dream about Stacey last night. I went to see her for some reason and was told I would have to wait. The later she was the more I worried I would have to see someone else but then I was told she was 120 miles from Earth. Apparently, she had flown into space either to investigate life on other planets or what planets may be habitable.

I miss having more alone time. Not 12 hours a day but 4-6 hours would be nice. I only get that if he’s sleeping when I’m up, though, and I only get to wake up alone like 3 times in a row or something like that.

It really is as if life has become one big waiting room that I spend 80% of my time in as I wait for my life to one day come to an end. I just want a fucking closing date already! And I want clarification as to whether or not we can leave unwanted furniture and other items behind. I was laughing at Tom for wanting to gather hazardous wastes when that would be doing their job for them since someone’s supposed to come through and clean the place anyway, but there are other legalities to consider. Once the house closes, it’s no longer our house and therefore we have no say in anything anymore.

She has until the end of the week to change her mind and I hope to hell she doesn’t! I just want to get this the fuck over with while I’m feeling mostly human. Felt okay yesterday and so far today, so good. I saw a video where an English doctor discusses some symptoms of menopause that can be serious and one of them was headaches which I was lucky enough not to have a problem with. Then there was heavy bleeding, bloating, etc. Then came severe mood swings like anxiety and depression, again giving me hope that it’s not on the medication and that I’ll one day walk away from this for good. For “unlucky” women, it can last 8-10 years, and I assume the clock starts upon entering perimenopause.

Well, if most of my problem has been extreme hormonal fluctuations then I am one of the unluckiest women out there because it has been so intense and so horrible! It has really ruined so much of what would otherwise be a pretty decent life. My worst problems should have been noise, sleep issues, hot flashes, and boredom. Not feeling like I was going to die or so bad that I wished I would.

She said OTC remedies are great for general anxiety and depression but they won’t do much good for severe cases which need help. Yeah, help that doesn’t include intolerable side effects. I can’t really say for sure if the black cohosh and magnesium are helping or not but it seems like it might be at least a little. She also explained why and how the menopause belly is formed and why diet and exercise are usually worthless. Instead, we just have to avoid the kinds of food and drink that aren’t good for us.

We ordered some more black cohosh tablets from Amazon along with tea. This is the brand Kim takes.

Also, I really like clear cosmetic bags so I can see what I have packed in them, especially if they’re not too big. So I decided to get a set of them. I got a set of seven bags each with different color trim. I can use them for other things besides traveling.

I noticed that the red spots on my leg have faded. One of them still feels a bit thick, slightly raised, and occasionally it itches but it’s definitely faded.

We’re having a cool spell now which is bringing out the planes, of course, but I should be sleeping when they’re at their worst. I’m about to make my last flip while we’re here.

I guess Nancy isn’t fully moved in yet after all. No one stayed there overnight.

Every time I swear off OD for good, I end up missing it. I like having a place where I simply share but don’t socialize. This way I can be a little more open without people giving me shit. I just have to create new accounts each month.

I continue to be both baffled and saddened by the world in general, our laws in particular. I fear for the future of women’s rights even though they don’t affect me personally. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if Roe versus Wade was overturned. Yes, people are that cruel, twisted, delusional, and downright controlling. They will do anything in the name of their crazy bullshit God and religion. I just hope that if it does come down to most if not many women being unable to get access to abortions they leave the unwanted babies on the doorsteps of the strangers who decided for them that they had to have them if they’re not going to be smart enough to get rid of them on their own, and yes, there are ways. Seriously, though, they should leave notes saying that they were financially, physically, or emotionally unable to care for them but since it was so damn important to these lawmakers that they are born, why don’t they but foot the bill and do the rearing?

Also, I still don’t understand for the life of me why those convicted of any kind of sexual offense are let out to repeat what they cannot deny themselves until they’re finally stopped for good. How many more decades of research and experience do we need to show us that the tiger never changes its stripes and that they are beyond rehabilitation?

Yesterday turned out to be both interesting and shitty. The shitty part was how horrible I felt at the end of my day but the interesting part was what the termite inspector found. He didn’t mention the T-word, which is good but he surprised us with something else. We were making small talk when he was done with his inspection and he noticed the old books on the bottom shelf of the bookcase. We told him they were left by the previous owner. He’s a history buff, so I told him to help himself to whatever he wanted since we’re leaving the books behind. He took one book and then on his way out he asked how long we lived here. We told him it was coming up on 8 years and he then asked if we ever had a dog and we said no.

“There’s a dog down there,” he told us. “A Chihuahua. The skeletal remains of one.”

I was shocked. I don’t know how he could tell it was a Chihuahua but that’s what he said. I’ve racked my brains trying to figure out how it could have gotten there and not one possible scenario makes sense. My biggest question is how did the last inspector that went into the crawl space miss it? Plus the one that inspected the place when we moved in.

One possibility is that one of the previous owners didn’t feel like burying it when it died and so they dragged it under the house. But then wouldn’t the smell of decomp stink no matter what time of year?

Another possibility is that it got trapped down there when the opening to the crawl space happened to be open which would be the only way it could get down there in the first place. But then wouldn’t people hear it barking?

Another possibility is that it was buried there before the house was brought in in 1984. But then wouldn’t even the bones be gone by now?

Regardless, it made me wonder right away if there could be a connection to why I’ve felt so bad here, but Tom laughed and said he doubted the spirit of a dead Chihuahua was affecting me. Yeah, realistically, I doubt it too, along with there being any connection to the cemetery nearby. Although a hell of a lot smaller, we’ve lived closer to cemeteries before where our lives were pretty damn good.

Anyway, it ended up being the same old shit…heart racing, feeling warm, feeling breathless, and then tired. I know that these can be symptoms of heart disease except I don’t have any other symptoms and my heart has been listened to recently. Then there’s the fact that just under 5 years ago I had a stress test and an EKG. So there shouldn’t be anything wrong with my heart despite my family history and my high cholesterol and blood pressure. In another decade, maybe. But now? Probably not.

I’m just tired of feeling like shit so often and how nothing I do to try to help myself seems to make much of a difference. It’s really sucking the life right out of me. My life could be damn near perfect if I just didn’t have this interfering with things. Every day I wake up and wonder if my own mind and body are going to torture me. And I wonder the same damn things I’ve been wondering for years now…how much could be changing hormones versus the medication? I feel like this hell will never end and I worry and wonder how I’m going to manage such a big move feeling so bad so often.

By the end of next week, we should have a moving date because that’s how much time she has to decide whether or not to back out. She better not! I just want to get this over with because I know some of the stress has to be coming from that. I just want to get settled in the new place, wherever it is! We’re hoping to get the moving pods around the 18th, get out of here and into a hotel on the 23rd, close on the 24th, and fly out on the 25th, but life isn’t usually what we plan it. As it is, things have been going so amazingly fast so far that I fear the carpet being yanked from under our feet any second now.

Aly has been gone a month now and there is still a horrible hole in my heart and my life without her. No one can ever replace Alison P. When I learned of the dog I wished I could share it with her and see what her opinion was. It’s hard not being able to share this whole process of moving with her.

Nancy is now moving in. I wish she’d waited till we got out of here just in case she’s a company or project junkie. But then she’ll probably be a good neighbor because we’re moving.

I had a nightmare that woke me up 2 hours after I crashed which definitely didn’t help my mood and makes me wonder. In the dream, I was crouched on a cement walkway by a river. Tom was sitting on a chair nearby when I spotted a raccoon in the water. But then it hopped up onto the walkway and I noticed the end of its nose was flat like a pig’s. It looked like a possum with a blunt nose. It stood right by me and I was afraid to move not knowing how it might react. I told Tom to get up and scare it off but he just sat there silently. Then I lost my balance and tumbled into the river. The water was icy cold and had a surprisingly strong current that pulled me away from the edge of the walkway and toward a waterfall. Yet despite knowing I was going to drown, Tom remained speechless and motionless as if he were in shock.

Then I had weird dreams like suddenly realizing I was riding my bike without pants on and hoping my shirt was long enough to hide it.

Then I was sitting at the side of a street just outside a friend’s house that was around the corner from mine. I was there to show support after some people in the neighborhood had picked on her. She stepped out for a minute to dump trash but if she saw me, she didn’t say anything. Then I realized it was stupid of me to be out there because I was opening myself up to trouble if the troublemakers decided to visit her, so I quickly gathered the bowl of popcorn I’d been eating and scurried off to my place.

When I entered what was the kitchen of my house, I asked Alexa to turn on the lights. Not surprisingly, she asked if she was talking to me since I wasn’t using my regular voice. I was trying to keep my voice down so as not to disturb anyone else in the house.

Pierce came by yesterday and answered our questions. He also was kind enough to give us a gift. A box of the best brownies I’ve ever had in my life. They were absolutely fantastic! We still don’t have an exact date but it will likely be in about 3 weeks from now that will be gone.

Today is critical because it’s termite inspection day and that could really throw a kink in our plans, so fingers crossed!

I don’t know if this is a matter of routine or not but they restocked the flyers attached to our for-sale sign.

When I saw that Dahl had backed his truck out onto the street yesterday I thought, Oh no, I’m not going to get out of here before I have to listen to that fucking saw again, assuming he was having lumber delivered. Instead, he was just having decorative rocks delivered to place alongside his carport.

Again I caught Joe at the mailboxes and he asked about next door and I told them they both died and that their daughter Nancy would be moving in soon.

So I got a meme from Andy about being black for the month. rolls eyes and sighs frustratedly I was wondering when the race shit would start. I suppose next is God? Some people really do never change. I’ve gone Aly on him. Meaning, I’m just ignoring it. I don’t know if he’s just that forgetful or just doesn’t care but I’ve made it clear numerous times what I’m into and what I’m not yet it seems to go in one ear and out the other. Same old Andy in that respect. I’ll just ignore what doesn’t interest me. No point in wasting my time yet again asking that he refrain from sharing anything pertaining to the topic. And I’m not obligated to defend myself as to the reasons why either. We’re never going to see eye-to-eye on that issue so why bother?

I keep forgetting to mention that I once read that you may not feel the effects of a massive overdose of levothyroxine for 11 days after taking it. This is why I wonder if it's connected to why I don't always feel better right away when I skip doses. 

Battling weight with Hashimoto’s and menopause is a real bitch. I'm fighting tooth and nail to keep from becoming more than 30 lbs overweight and I still think in the end it's going to be a losing battle until and if they ever come up with a safe and effective way to counteract it. For now, I'm just going to up the exercise and lessen the snacks. Gotta go easy on the nuts, beneficial or not, because they are fattening. 

Pierce is coming to do a final “walk-through” as he put it in his text message at 11. But we thought final walk-throughs weren't done until closing time? Well, we’ll find out because we do have some questions for him. Hopefully, we can get a moving date today! 

Christy was out mapping the trees and shrubs which they routinely do when someone moves. She's such a sweetheart compared to Joy. 

We're still weighing the pros and cons between the Gulf Coast versus the Atlantic Coast. The Atlantic has more to offer as far as homes for sale, stores, restaurants, and doctors, but there are more people and it's more expensive there. We considered starting off on the Atlantic side and if we were unable to find anything by the time our car was shipped to us a week later, we might drive across to the Gulf side. It's just that with an electric car, it would be a hell of a long drive because we would have to stop along the way to charge it. Plus we would have to go a little out of our way because there are no chargers available on the quickest route.

The AC is fixed! It was 101 degrees when it crapped out on us. Turns out it was a blown fuse. It cost us $175 which was around what we were expecting. The guy was able to come out just after 10.

It was the first time I was actually glad for the big high-low swings drier climates have otherwise we wouldn’t have been able to keep the place from going above 86 degrees later in the day. Either way, I miss evaporative coolers. I definitely prefer fresh air and open windows (when I can stand the noise) to air conditioning.

Yesterday I felt so good. The only thing spoiling it was knowing that it was the exception and not the norm. I’d like to think the mix of black cohosh, Gennev magnesium, and now Brazil nuts are helping to stabilize my mood but it’s too soon to jump to that conclusion.

When I realized my heart beating harder as it has lately could be due to not exercising as much, thanks to being tired, I began making a point of working out more consistently no matter how I feel, even if I have to do it in spurts. So back to a half-hour a day most days of the week!

Forgot to say that we’re not going to stay in a hotel the entire time we’re waiting to get into a house. That would be ridiculously expensive. It’s just that we would prefer to check out places you rent by the month in person. Better to see things with your eyes than go by what you see online and be stuck there.

I’ve been putting together a packing list of all the things we’ll need to take with us. OMG, all the mixed emotions! I’m so excited and so happy to be getting out of here that I feel my eyes sting with tears of joy. Then they’re quickly replaced with ones of sadness because I can’t share everything that’s going on with Aly. I still miss her immensely. There will be times I’ll look at the clock and think, she should be home from work now and just about ready to check in on Skype.

We both disabled the option of being able to be looked up on Skype, just in case the termites try to contact us in the future as I reckon they will.

I just wish my dreams would give me an idea of where in Florida we should go! So much for being psychic lately, although I will be correct on some details that either came to me and dreams or that I sensed while awake. We’re going to just have to pick a place and go. There is a house on the Gulf side I’m interested in but I don’t expect it to be available by the time we get there.

Wish I knew our moving date for sure! Wonder if we’ll get out of here before they turn the water off again. They should have had time to go over the inspection report so I’m guessing we’ll hear from them soon. I guess the dryer vent isn’t up to code as far as its placement and they want it run through the wall instead of the floor. The question is how much of it we’ll have to do ourselves versus being able to pay for her to do it. We’d rather give her more money to do it herself than save money by having to do it ourselves. We just want to get the fuck out of here already!

I caught Joe driving by, so I ran down to pick up the mail from him and he mentioned us moving and we chatted a bit. I told him to look me up on Facebook if that was his thing but he said it wasn’t really. Yeah, I kind of can’t see Joe doing Facebook.

Again with the skunks waking me up. Fucking ridiculous. We can’t get out of here fast enough! Especially now that our AC crapped out on us. OMG, what horrible timing! I hope to hell he’s right in thinking it’s a simple fix and that we don’t have to replace the whole damn thing. I would absolutely HATE to lose 5K just so we could basically buy HER a new AC. Her as in Debbie, the lady that bought our place. She came around with the inspector yesterday.

The inspector was nice for an inspector. Even though it took a few hours after he left for the AC to quit, I really hope he wasn’t somehow responsible. The biggest thing is that we’re out hundreds at most and not thousands.

Turns out a couple of drain pipes are leaking and there are tons of dryer lint and leaves underneath the house. We knew about the dryer lint. The people that inspected the place for us eight years ago told us about it but we weren’t worried because there’s no source of ignition down there that could start fires.

Debbie also had the inspector measure the rooms which she said would be for furniture. She’s going to have the place painted before she moves in. She was smartly dressed (a lesbian?) with a beautiful diamond necklace that must have cost a fortune, and after living in her nearly half a million-dollar home for 37 years, we’re guessing she has a lot of money. It’s going to be just her and her two cats, just like Nancy.

She asked that we leave the bench swing on the patio, and we had planned to leave that along with the table Bob gave us. I get the impression she’s going to pay for what she wants to be done but we don’t know for sure because we’re not familiar with the whole process and all that. I just worry that she may be the type to demand this and that at the last minute like the couple that bought our Phoenix house did. I sure hope not! So we don’t know for sure who’s paying for what and what the costs are going to be. I would just hate to lose a good chunk of the sale money! Her place is in escrow and she can’t pay us until she receives the money from the sale of her house. Right now it’s still looking like we’re going to leave at the end of the month. It just can’t come fast enough!

Thanks to his smart thinking, we’re not going to stay at a vacation rental but just get into a hotel instead. We would hate to rent a place for a couple of months just to find it’s noisy or there’s something wrong with it and not be able to get out right away. Yes, it’s the offseason but that doesn’t mean there wouldn’t be college kids on break that are partying it up or something like that in vacation rentals or large rowdy families.

Anyway, he ran and got the portable AC out of the storeroom. Thank God we got that thing! In about 10 minutes, he had it in the bedroom window. He stayed up late and left me a message telling me not to freak by the open windows, reminding me that he sprayed not long ago. Bugs are the least of my concerns now. It’s how much money we’re going to lose that I’m worried about. He called someone but they didn’t get back to him because it was just after five. As I said, this is horrible timing in many ways. We’re just days away from moving, we’re having a heatwave, and it was at the end of the day. Right now, after 4 a.m., it’s a chilly 74 in the bedroom and a comfy 77 outside of it. The breeze feels nice. 77 is too warm for sleeping, though. 75 with a fan is doable but even that’s a bit warm. I sleep best at 68 to 72 but I don’t expect to ever be in temps that low again except for maybe a few days out of the year where we’re going.

Been looking at places on both sides of the state and right now there’s an older house in a small town listed as being in a “low” noise zone with nothing behind it and it’s definitely more appealing even if it’s a little more expensive than the Ormond Beach one that was a much newer house. Houses are selling like crazy now so I don’t expect them to be on the market when it comes time. No matter how great that soundproofing material that was designed by NASA may be, I would really prefer to get a little breathing room around us and not be so tightly flanked by streets and houses like the park the newer house is in.

We ran out to Safeway before the inspector came and Marie checked in after I posted a journal entry. But it showed that she made two page views so maybe one of them was a story chapter. I post a chapter when I get up and one toward the end of my day. I’ll do this until I have all my books posted in my second account.

I didn’t have any anxiety yesterday but my heart beat a little hard for a while. I’m hoping it’s only because I’ve gotten a little out of shape from being too tired to work out.

We ordered the Brazil nuts which I figured Safeway wouldn’t have. They will arrive today. Fucking $15 for a pound.

This is the second time Walmart didn’t have Brazil nuts. I’ve heard and read good things about them having positive effects on those with anxiety or depression because of their high selenium content. Later we’re going to go to Safeway and look there but also just to get out. We’ll do this before the inspector arrives at 10. Going to pick up some wine and the mints I forgot to get with our last order.

I did get a mix of other nuts high in serotonin and that seemed to boost my mood unless it was just a coincidence. I spent most of the day on edge but didn’t actually get anxious. I also had a turkey bacon wrap which has tryptophan.

Kim told me that once she started the black cohosh, the hot flashes stopped soon but it actually took weeks for the anxiety to dissipate. She doesn’t remember exactly how many weeks, though. That’s a little encouraging, I guess. I still take one before bed but I haven’t taken one at the beginning of the day. Instead, I’ve had black cohosh tea.

I don’t know if I should hold off on the magnesium until 4 hours after taking my medication or not but I’m going to anyway since my mood tends to be worse later in my day. I got up 3 hours ago, so I’ll take it in another hour or two. They recommend one to four capsules and I’ve been taking two so far.

Really hope the inspection goes well today! I noticed we’re not listed on Lyon anymore but we’re still on Coldwell Banker.

Marie hasn’t read me for the last couple of days and I also haven’t updated my public journal in a couple of days. So I wonder if her absence is because she’s not interested in the stories which I have shared, or if she’s just been busy over the long holiday weekend. I’m gonna stop coding stories so I know that whoever shows up on my report visited my journal.

Found this really nice 2005 place that’s incredibly cheap for a house that young in a tiny park that doesn’t seem to allow motorcycles. The only negative is that it’s right by the pool. There is a utility shed between the house and pool but since it’s not very wide, it wouldn’t block any loud laughter or visiting brats.

It’s in Ormond Beach which seems to be a nice place as it has everything we could need. 

I told Tom I hope the manager isn’t like Joy or Stacey wherever we end up, but as he pointed out, they likely will be. Certain people get into those types of jobs for the same reason most cops become cops…because they’re control freaks who need to feel powerful and all that shit.

That’s the only thing that sucks about going to a park. We couldn’t complain to management if God forbid we had a problem with anyone since they’d just spite us for it. But then sometimes it really is better to take care of your problems on your own and not have others do it for you as I still think we should have in the past.

Since he and I have known each other, we’ve only flown four times. To Laughlin once, Florida twice, and Hawaii once. This may be our last flight since we don’t need to fly to where the ships are for cruising unless we go on a helicopter.

Had a dream I lived in a neighborhood somewhere along with Marie and a couple of other Valleyhead “sisters.” Tom and I were really busy gathering stuff for the bulk pickup and doing some heavy cleaning as well. One of the sisters (Marsha C?) approached me and asked if she could talk to me. Because I was busy I asked how long it would take.

“Well, more than 3 minutes,” she said.

I said, “Alright, I can always make time for a sister. What’s up?”

“The baby,” she said looking at me disdainfully along with Marie and someone else.

I quickly became both irritated and frustrated to be confronted about something I said to another sister about a baby that was perceived as negative as if I was discouraging someone from having one or something like that. Wishing I told her it had to wait, I simply said, “Look, I can’t undo what I said, and besides, don’t we all have a right to our opinion?”

Then I looked at Marie and wanted to ask how she went from being totally obsessed with me to always ignoring me.

Just sitting here waiting for today’s internal shitstorm to begin. Sipping cohosh and primrose tea for whatever good it will do me. Plus I took a Gennev.

This is the third day in a row with less than seven hours of sleep. This time I can blame it on the fucking skunk that let one rip too close to home. Goddamn, do I hope these fuckers aren’t a regular issue in Florida!

Yesterday ended up being a shitty day and Gennev’s magnesium is proving to be worthless, just like everything else has. I had the same problem I’ve had twice recently which Tom thinks is due to skipping too many times. I’ve skipped a total of three times recently but have taken my med the last couple of days and am determined to learn to tough it out once and for all as impossible as that may seem.

It started off when I was light-headed for a minute or two and then later my heart started beating a little fast and a little hard. Then sure enough, once I passed the halfway mark of my day, I was anxious and it went on for more than four to five hours. It lasted most of the rest of my day.

I just don’t know what to think or do anymore! I think it’s got to be on the medication. It just seems that my hormones wouldn’t know what point of my day I was in but a medication I took certainly would. Also, people describe menopausal anxiety as being extra worrisome, not waves of adrenaline in the chest making you feel the way it makes you feel emotionally, sometimes even wishing you could just drop dead. But a foreign chemical I was taking into my body certainly could even if it’s supposed to be the “same stuff” my thyroid makes.

And why did I have similar symptoms as what I had when I first went to 75 and then to 88 where the chest anxiety became prominent at the end of 2016? Since when does menopause cause you to have the runs, lose your appetite, and lose weight? That’s just not the way it works. Your appetite increases and you gain weight… Without the runs.

I just don’t get why I don’t have any anxiety every single time I take the medication. But still, something’s got to be wrong somewhere. It just seems too extreme for menopause so unless they’re missing something, the answer has to lie within the medication. It’s just that I’ve never heard about people not being able to do something about their menopause symptoms. Why do so many people swear by things like black cohosh, primrose, magnesium, and other things if they don’t help?

I started to lose hope in the extremely off-chance of it being the house when I remembered that I was feeling really anxious in the chest one time when I went to my old dentist, and then the stomach anxiety when I was on my way to Stacey one day. But the anxiety did start at home. I can’t remember a time when I went out and then became anxious, not that I’m out very often to begin with.

I just wish I could know what it is, what (if anything) I could do about it, and if it will ever go away! It would be such a huge relief if I knew it was hormonal and wouldn’t last forever. I think that right there would help tremendously. But I can’t possibly know this.

This isn’t something I can just disengage myself from, ignore, or simply walk away from as much as I wish to hell I could. No, I couldn’t do that any more than I could turn off past impossible dreams, goals, and desires until time, circumstances or both turned them off for me. I’d love to be able to say, “I’m not going to take this shit. I’m not going to acknowledge it. I’m going to totally ignore it and not let it get to me.”

But sadly, it just doesn’t work that way.

I totally misunderstood Tom the other day. He wasn’t talking about turning the garage into a bedroom/office but an office/workshop instead.

We’re still torn between going inland versus coastal. Every time we find a place that seems ideal, there’s a catch…too close to a train track, too close to a highway, etc. At this point, I say just let the cheapest place win! I’m not going to get the kind of quiet I want anyway, so why not?

Doc A showed up in my dreams again last night for a sleepover in our two-story house, lol. I ran down a hallway (or was it a staircase?) to greet her when she arrived at the house in the evening. I said, “Hi, I’ve missed you!” with my arms outstretched for a hug. Then I stopped and asked if I could hug her. She said yes.

A short while later, Tom was turning in for bed early. He was about to head up the stairs to the bedrooms which were off the kitchen while Doc A was whispering something unintelligible in my ear.

Took a break from this entry to take a shower. Of course I had to listen to the paper car right after I got out. At least the planes should be quiet for two or three hours before they start back up again.

After my recent concoction, I felt a wave of fatigue and also a bit calmer. The internal shitstorm probably won’t begin till around 6:30. I still can’t believe I’m going through this shit! My life could be damn near perfect if it wasn’t for this shit. This is all wrong. This shouldn’t be happening. Why must there always be one thing or another? Well, I can assure you that my past problems were much easier than this!

Still looking at different houses in different parts of the state. There’s a place in Port Orange that has a garage which he talked about turning into his office/bedroom but since he’s always been kind of neighbor-conscious, wouldn’t that look weird to them? And is he really going to trek through the dark and humidity when he wakes up having to pee in the middle of the night? Also, garages aren’t very sealed up and I would worry about giant spiders or even snakes slithering in there while he was sleeping. Furthermore, while I would appreciate some alone time, that would feel too weird, almost like I was living alone.

Another thing I didn’t like about the location, although it was close to the beach, was that the neighboring houses were extremely close, it’s even closer to a highway, and it’s too close to the clubhouse as well. I don’t want to be running back to the same shit I’m trying to escape. Even though the highway wouldn’t be elevated and there’s a block wall in between, why would I want to go from 1100 feet from the highway to 250 feet?

Then he found a much better one in Lakeland with a waterfront view that also has its pros and cons but that I would prefer to the Port Orange place. The pros are the view and that it’s a nice house. The houses are also spread further apart and it’s not too close to highways or clubhouses.

The negatives are that it’s a corner house which means we would hear similar shit as we do here but hopefully fewer planes. It would also be a long drive to the beach, not that we wouldn’t have the time to make the drive.

The house really is beautiful. The only other negative I just found when looking at it again was that no windows overlook the lake other than maybe a bedroom window. How do you enjoy the view from your home when your lanai’s on the other side?

I just wish traffic was like it was 15-20 years ago where you didn’t really notice it and you just heard things like UPS and the trash trucks and didn’t have a million motorcycles, diesel trucks that sound like semis, muscle cars, and boom car stereos, though I can’t believe stereos would be a problem there.

No place is going to be perfect. There definitely is no escaping the mutts and especially those damn motorcycles. But two people in Florida said they weren’t a big deal there so that’s a little hopeful even though I still wonder if I’m cursed at times with the way I just “happen” to get so many exceptions.

There’s still the soundproofing that looks hopeful as far as helping me sleep and blocking out project noise as well. I think soundproofing the rest of the house is going to depend on whether or not the lanai is off of the main house or separate. Obviously, it would work well if it was separate but if the lanai was attached to the house, then wouldn’t soundproofing the house be kind of pointless?

Speaking of pros and cons, I’m trying to decide if I want to let the termites think I’m still in Cali or tell them we moved to another state before the virus hit but not say where, of course. It should be a few years before the Internet takes it upon itself to broadcast our new address. I’ll be watching in regular intervals so I can do whatever I can to get it removed. Anyway, I don’t know that it matters other than that they may be less likely to try to figure out this address to send stuff here or call the Citrus Heights piggies if they think we’re not here. I just want to wait over a year so that if she does send anything here, it’s not forwarded. I hope the next lady will mark it Return to Sender and throw it back in the mailbox but my guess is she’ll probably open it without realizing it wasn’t to her or be curious even if she does realize it, and then dump it.

Yesterday Kim told me she loves the diamond painting I did for her.

Going to be having triple-digit weather today and tomorrow.

Had a dream he was all excited about a place that was inside a giant barn-like building with other houses. LOL

Then there were dreams about being surprised to spot a skunk in the middle of the afternoon, and some guy struggling to keep up with me as we were jogging.

Next, we were having a little reunion with Miss Perfect and Dave somewhere. There were other people around as well as a few kids. She still seemed to have a chip on her shoulder and was not very eager to talk to me whenever I would ask questions about her life or make comments.

Eventually, we all got up to leave, me grabbing a hoodie and then realizing the weather was too warm for it and that I would have to lug it around with me. I ran up a hill to keep up with the others who were making their way along a wide street somewhere.

If we had a house this big, though I simply can’t see us in a place this big when we move, I wouldn’t need a treadmill as long as we kept it sparsely furnished or at least set up in a way that allowed me a clear running track. I’ve been doing three 5-minute walking bursts alternated between three 5-minute jogging bursts.

I asked Andy and Kim their opinion on the matter. I don’t know why I’m so curious but that’s just how I naturally am.

Kim is kind of annoying me. Yesterday I asked if she got my envelope and she said she thinks so but spent the day busily preparing for shoulder surgery next Tuesday and had woken up to the sound of birds. She said she was going to go back to sleep for another hour and would look later but I never heard back from her. Meanwhile, she’s been online a few times yet hasn’t confirmed that she got it. Hate that shit. I used to get that from Paula where I would send a package and wouldn’t hear anything about it for weeks, sometimes even months.

I was totally horrified and discouraged to read that symptoms can continue for an average of 7.4 years after a woman’s last period, including mood changes. Seven-point-fucking-four years?!?!?! You mean I could be just barely past the halfway point of this shit?! There’s no fucking way I can stand another 6 years of this torture. Just no fucking way. If it goes on for a total of 15 years and I make it to 80, that will be 12% of my life! Gennev’s menopause magnesium arrives today but it’s hard to be hopeful after so long. The only positive that came from reading what I read was that there’s still a chance it’s not the medication because that would be the worst thing it could be along with my thyroid itself.

Didn’t feel anxious yesterday when I skipped my med. Tom thinks I did better yesterday because it’s a psychological thing. Maybe so since I took it today and I’m still fine. Either way, I wish I could quit the shit for a few months. Then I would know for sure but there’s no way I could stand the hypo symptoms either so that’s not an option.

Woke up with a backache today. Had a massage and it helped but it’s back so I’ll have another massage soon.

My bite has continued to be off too. When I clamp my teeth together, only the teeth on the right side touch. The left side barely touches anymore and I wonder if it’s because of my TMJ. I did hear that that can offset things, so I don’t know. My TMJ definitely seems to prefer it hot and dry. Now let’s also hope it also likes hot and humid. Cold weather along with elevation definitely doesn’t help.

Finally remembered a dream I had last night where I was seeing my old dentist in a small enclosed room. The room was inside some kind of building. A buffet was outside of it. She was just finishing up with me when she told me to gather my stuff and listed off a few things, one of them being something I couldn’t understand. She shut the light off before I finished gathering my stuff up and I asked her to turn it back on. She flicked it back on for a few seconds so I could make sure I wasn’t forgetting anything. Then she put on a winter coat and matching earmuffs and said goodbye as she shut and locked the door and headed outside through a door by the exam room.

Then I was standing in the crowded area where people were loading trays of food. People were seated nearby as well and there was a long line of people waiting for seats. I was hungry as hell and wondered how people managed to starve themselves. I looked around for Tom and spotted him talking to some guy. I was glad to see him holding bags of food so we could take off and eat as soon as we got home. I moved toward him through the throng of people and asked where I should go and he guided me toward the end of the line and said, “That way.”

The crowds and noise began to fray my nerves. Someone was letting their kid play some loud obnoxious video game on their phone or tablet and I wanted to leave. However, I was tightly squeezed into the line and found it wasn’t so easy to break free as I scanned the area for Tom and wondered where he disappeared to.

I can’t deny the fact that it still saddens me, like when I woke up early in the evening, knowing that if Aly was alive I’d have messages waiting for me even if it was just trivial things and asking how I was doing.

I had a shitty night last night with anxiety. I’ve definitely noticed a pattern trending with me lately and that’s that it usually gets me around the middle of my day and lasts 4-5 hours. Decided to try Gennev’s brand of magnesium which will arrive Sunday. It’s 17 bucks a bottle but I’d pay a million times more if it’ll work. I doubt it will, though, because nothing has yet but I can’t resist the natural urge to try to help myself so I can feel better.

I realize there could be one or more culprits involved ranging from menopause to the medication to the thyroid itself. I’m skipping today’s dose, though, and this will be my third skip, so tomorrow I’ll go back to taking it consistently.

As for my toe, I’m virtually positive it’s not Melanoma because the stripe would be darker, thicker, and extend up under my cuticle if it was. I’m pretty sure it’s a splinter hemorrhage though I’m not sure how I got it.

A random memory decided it would be a fine time to pop into mine when I was showering and that was when my wonderful father told me he would “walk away” if I kept expressing how frustrated I was with his abusive wife back in the late 80s or so because “that was his wife I was talking about.”

The older, smarter me would have said, “Well, I’m your daughter so let me take the honors of being the one to walk away.”

But it’s complicated. It’s complicated because if I hadn’t reached out to them for help after dumping my parents for a decade when we got in a jam when we first came to Cali 14 years ago, we wouldn’t have been pulled out of the quicksand that was quickly swallowing us up. Nor would we have gotten the money to get out of Jesse’s dumpy old trailer and into this place where we could ultimately get a decent sum of money to get a place in a better state, despite how noisy it’s been here.

Speaking of that better state, Tom’s really liking this city that’s a little smaller than Citrus Heights called Port Orange. He showed me a 45k house he wants and while the house didn’t really speak to me and get me all excited since it’s a corner lot with the same less-than-exciting view we have here, we could practically ride our bikes to the beach just three miles away! But houses are selling fast there just like they are here so it will probably be gone when we’re ready.

Since we’re likely to be more in central or northern Florida (just not very northern Florida) we talked about some things we might want to do there like watching some of the rockets take off. Not sure I would really be interested in Epcot Center but Busch Gardens looks like it would be a lot of fun. I sure as hell wouldn’t want to go on any of the roller coasters, but some of the rides look fun and there would be other things to do as well like shopping and dining and they have these little safari tours as well.

Can’t wait to take tons of pics of the move, whatever house we end up with, and the things we do!

Another positive to not going too far south is that we would be less likely to be evacuated for hurricanes and if we decided we didn’t like being in a park there any more than here but still like the state, it’s closer to rural areas that we could check out as possible alternatives. I think Steinhatchee would be too far north and the winters would be too much like here. But starting off in a park is a better way to test the climate because we could get out of there faster if we had to leave the state altogether than if we got some rural place.

I would have loved going extremely remote 20 years ago when I was younger and healthier but with us getting older and spoiled by modern conveniences, we’re not so sure it would be wise to be that isolated and I know we would both miss the high-speed Internet end having things delivered right to our door. We’ve never had to yet but I like knowing that I could run next door or across the street if the car crapped out and we needed to get somewhere in a hurry, even though there’s always Uber for that, but still.

Burgundy is definitely my new favorite hair color. It looks so good on me! Took some pictures of it but the pictures don’t do it justice at all. My hair looks lighter in the photos too. It’s actually a rich deep warm shade of burgundy that looks great on me. My hair also looks thinner than it is in the pictures. It’s not thick like when I was younger but it’s not thin either.

Later…

Sometimes it bothers me that I’ll never have the home of my dreams and by saying that I don’t mean a luxury mansion either. I don’t even mean something small and luxurious. Just a peaceful modest place that isn’t too big or too small where I feel at home. A place that really speaks to me. I don’t know how to describe it but it has to do with the house itself and what’s around it that makes it stand out or not. Sometimes I’ll pass by a place and realize I could feel really comfortable and at home there and all that, but I honestly don’t think it’s in my cards any more than it was ever in my cards to marry a woman, have a kid, or make it as a writer. I think the place is going to be just there with no special “homey” or cozy kind of feeling. I don’t think I’m ever going to literally love where I live, feel really blessed to live there and be unable to imagine ever moving again.

Even so, I believe the next place really is likely to be it. So knowing what’s in my cards and what isn’t, I’ll just take whatever we can afford as long as it’s not literally unappealing. I’m not even going to be lucky enough to get in a petless park or a petless section. I don’t know how I know this. I just do. Some things really never do change and there really is no escaping them. The best I can do is hope that it’s at least not as noisy as this place in general and that the soundproofing we intend to do helps a lot. Then it would only be annoying when we were in the lanai.

About 28 days to go! The only things I’ll miss are the dry air, taking walks around the park, and some of the neighbors. It kind of blows my mind knowing that I probably won’t even do more than 30 more California entries. But now it’s getting even more real. As in time to start watching quantities when shopping since the less we have to move the better.

There were 5 Green Gobbler sticks left that you throw down the drain to control odors and eat up organic matter. We used those up by throwing them down both shower drains, kitchen and bathroom sinks, and the tub.

We’re getting the money’s worth out of stuff that doesn’t have much left in it to be worth moving. Oh, this is so fun. LOL, most of the cleaning stuff we’ll leave for her since the fewer liquids we move the better.

We shouldn’t need more laundry or dish pods in this state. If there’s any fabric softener left over, she can have it. I’m even going to leave the laundry bag because I have another one we never used that’s still in its package. It might be packed already. Then again, if we go back to the top loaders I prefer, being that they’re easier to clean, we won’t need them.

These were cheap $40 pots and pans we got and we’ll have to decide if they’re worth taking or if we should get new ones there but I’m guessing we’ll take them. They can be replaced later. We’ll even take the plastic cups I plan to replace because we still need to drink out of something when we’re not drinking out of cans and bottles. No need to replace the mugs I have. I just have too many, LOL. I might leave a few behind.

Good news and bad news. As I suspected, we won’t be getting into Spanish Lakes in Port Saint Lucie because the realtor said they usually want you to have at least $1600 a month. What surprises me is that most places have an application fee which is totally ridiculous. How hard can it be to look at someone’s income and tell if they qualify? Plus to run a background check if they do make enough? But hey, if worse comes to absolute worst, there’s always that stilt house up in Steinhatchee.

Another bad thing but that doesn’t surprise me is that he finally found a place that tells you which parks allow motorcycles and that’s almost all of them. Only about 1 out of 100 forbids them. Yeah, I don’t expect to be able to dodge those or the dogs but I know it’s going to be better than this place even if it wasn’t soundproofed but of course it will be. It’s just that we might not get much peace when we’re sitting out in the lanai and people are letting their dogs bark and doing whatever projects they’re doing. Yet I don’t expect the lanai to be pleasant most of the year anyway due to the humidity.

He found another town he’s investigating called Orange City. I don’t like the name but that’s not important, of course. It’s reasonably priced as it’s more inland but still only a half-hour from the beach.

The good news is that the inspector isn’t coming until Tuesday and we don’t have to be out of the house like we originally thought. We didn’t have to be when they inspected the place in Phoenix so I was kind of surprised when he first said we might have to be out.

We were given a long form to fill out if anything doesn’t work. Would have been nice if they’d done that for us when we moved in here, as he said. We didn’t even know the self-cleaning part of the oven didn’t work, or its timer.

Not much else going on around here. Nancy’s getting new flooring, we ran out to Rite Aid, and I dyed my hair burgundy. Beautiful color.

Now I just have to hope the old me makes its way back soon. Two out of the four possible culprits will be eliminated soon, although I still can’t believe it could be connected to the cemetery or negative energy within the house. That’s just too easy. It’s got to be connected to either hormones or medication. I can’t believe it’s the thyroid itself since I never felt this way before being diagnosed.

I also hope his flu-like symptoms are gone by tomorrow. This has got to be the strongest vaccine he’s ever gotten! The nurse did warn him though. He felt better most of the day until we went to the store.

Later...

The anxiety I had for 4-5 hours throughout the night has dissipated and while that’s wonderful, I still shouldn’t be going through this back-and-forth bullshit! I should be focused on the move and able to enjoy concentrating on that without this shit thrown into the mix. Life could be pretty damn good if it wasn’t for this shit spoiling things.

Seven years later I’m wracking my brains trying to figure out what the fuck it could be and I can only come up with that it’s either one or more of three things - hormones, the poison, or the thyroid itself. I agree that it’s unlikely that I have tumors or heart disease so it’s got to be one or more of those three things.

If I can never know for sure I just wish I knew what the fuck to do about it! Tapping doesn’t work anymore and nothing else I tried worked. It comes and goes at random and every time I think I might be on to something, I find I’m not. I don’t know, sometimes I think it’s still a bit extreme for hormones and that it’s a hell of a coincidence that this problem started with the medication. But the anxiety that I’ve had since 2014 has been different at different times, as funny as that may sound.

Oh fuck. So now the commercials are going to start flying at 4-fucking-30 instead of 5:30?

As I was saying before I was distracted, remember how I had the booming heart and panic attacks when I first went to 75s? Well, my heart is beating hard at times but not that hard. And I also feel adrenaline in my chest but I’m not panicking. Then there was the time I went to Stacey before she taught me how to tap where I had the stomach anxiety and for a while, it seemed like taping was magic. It stopped it dead in its tracks. But then soon enough, I was having anxiety where I felt afraid to be left alone, and then she EMDR’d me. It was about half a year later that the chest anxiety began in December of 2016. The only kind of anxiety I’ve had that smacks of menopause was the 15 months I had where my heart raced me awake.

I see a definite pattern trending lately. It usually starts around the middle of my day and lasts 4-5 hours.

I was reading back in my 2016 journal and it seems that for the better part of that year, I didn’t have as much anxiety. It got really bad in December and this wasn’t long after finding out that my TSH was a 7. So my first thought was that it was the poison but then I didn’t start skipping until around that time either, so I don’t know. I just don’t know anymore. I just don’t understand why it would get worse.

But then another discouraging thing I read back on was that Doc A told me it’s a “medical disorder” which means I can go months without having anxiety and then it can pick up. So could I have developed a medical disorder when I started the poison that has nothing to do with menopause, thyroid, or medication???

To think that I may have to live another 20 years with this shit if we can’t ever figure it out and it doesn’t go away on its own makes me want to bash my fucking head in the wall until my brains are forever engraved into it.

The countdown is on! We should be gone in 30 days so we’ll probably be here for our anniversary but not his birthday!!! The woman who wants this house will buy it contingent upon her current house selling which is now in escrow. We’re pretty sure it is the last single woman that looked at it. She’s downsizing from a house she’s selling for $450,000 and even offered an additional grand. That’s her deposit which we would get if anything fell through that caused her to back out but I don’t see that happening. Gosh, I hope not! We just want to get the hell out of the House of Terror as I named it. After we’ve lived in various places, I kind of gave them these little nicknames. Well, given how my health has terrorized me at times in this place, it only seems fitting. Not even a week after moving in, I knew I didn’t want to be here forever because of the noise, even though it took a year for the medication and hormone issues to really get going.

Next up comes the inspection that takes 2 hours and that we have to be gone for. That’s where a potential kink could be thrown into our plans. If they find anything that needs to be repaired then we’ll either pay to have it fixed ourselves or let them take the money out of the sale of the house to get it fixed on their own. We know the hot water tank needs to be replaced because it’s making these “popcorn” sounds and it usually bursts not long afterward like what happened in Phoenix and at Jesse’s trailer.

My biggest fear is termites. Many of the homes here have had them in the past, including this place. Because we’re getting so much more than expected for the house and we have so much available to us on credit if we have to get the place tented and spend a week in a hotel, then so be it.

Poor Tom spent the day with horrible side effects from his shingles vaccine. And this was only the first shot. Within the next couple of months, he has to get a second one which he plans to get in Florida. Covered California isn’t just a California thing but a federal thing so we can use it there too. One more year and he has Medicare.

His exam went great, though. His blood pressure was great and his cholesterol was so low that Doc A asked if he was on cholesterol medication, lol.

Anyway, Pierce informed us that we would have a few days’ notice before inspections, and as Tom told him, it’s easier for me to push my schedule than to hold it so I’m going to stay up as late as I can. Unfortunately, this means I can’t be very active or do anything that will tire me out. So no working out. I’m just going to be totally lazy. Just writing, movies, good food, and audiobooks for the most part.

Coming down in an old beat-up 1950s Datsun pickup and going out first class is not half bad at all! First class is cheap now. About $700 for a ticket.

We still don’t know exactly where we’re going but we’re homing in on a couple of locations and he’s begun contacting realtors there. We’re both doing research like crazy. We’re not going to pack more stuff until after the inspection.

We’re just so glad that Pierce doesn’t want to show the house to more people to get even more offers. We would rather lose 5 grand or so to get out sooner. We just want to get this over with!

Don’t know if the next place will be our forever home but if it isn’t, it should be our second to last home. We really would like to get into Spanish Lakes, a somewhat fancy retirement community in Port Saint Lucie. Not sure if they would accept us, though, since they are going to be more focused on monthly income and not what we have saved. He wouldn’t mind working part-time, though, if it was worth it enough. We could both do Door Dash and I still want to take a shot at an Etsy store even if I don’t hold out much hope there with all the competition.

There are also places on the Gulf side that have potential. I’ll be up through the night researching along with the other things I’ll be doing.

Because it’s getting close, I asked Kim to hold off on the package until I get our new address.

I filled Mrs. Twenties in and assured her that our friendship would live on through Facebook and she said she hoped so because she would be disappointed if it didn’t. Also, she might be nosey about my new life and I told her I would be happy to share. At that point, I don’t mind adding her to the Blogger list I created there.

I wonder if Molly remembers my last name. I hope not. If I decide to cut her loose, then she would know who to look for on Facebook but hey, she would be easy enough to block.