Well, Scot, are you gonna give me my chance to ignore your knocking or not? Nah, you’re waiting till that first week in January in which Tom will no doubt be home, aren’t you?

But whether or not I ignored him with or without Tom at home, he’d no doubt come right back within a week or two cuz it’s been so long since he was in the house.

I was tidying up freeloader-related papers when I came across one that stated the basic rules for both standard and intensive probation, and oh my God! I’d run for damn sure if I was on one month of intense probation as fast as I’d run if I’d gotten any more regular probation time than I got. How can they even keep people on intense probation? You’d think most of them would run like hell! Anyway, you basically can’t leave your house except to go to work or to report. You also have to play phone and face to face visits with them day and night, 365 days a year. With the stress of regular probation being bad enough, I can’t imagine going through that shit! Even if I knew for sure there’d be no more tests, and even if his office was just two minutes from the house, I still have to worry something is going to come up every time I go to see him.

Mei Li left southern San Francisco at 4 AM this morning. Good, she’s not coming from the other side of the country to make the trip longer. I hope Chris’s tracking link will get mailed to us today.

I put the frogs back in the main fish tank so I wouldn’t have to clean the bowl they were in every day.

Mary’s love poems were so well written. I can agree with and relate to a lot of what she had to say about love. I had to laugh, though, when she talked of trembling with fear at the face of God as I most certainly would, but for an entirely different reason which is, of course, cuz I see God as a vengeful God. I think a lot of Jewish people do. Different religions have different ideas as far as what God is all about. Some see certain people as being Gods. In my belief, I don’t believe God and the devil are two separate beings. I believe God is the devil and the devil is God. I believe they’re one big entity. Do I believe in guardian angels? Hmmm…I don’t know about that one. I don’t know if I believe in things like reincarnation, heaven and hell. I know I don’t believe in prayer, but with most things, I’m not sure what to believe. I used to believe that after death our spirits roamed the earth or maybe even the whole universe, but now I don’t know. Maybe we just blink out and that’s it when we die. That one’s a little hard to believe, but it might be a good thing if we did just in case hell really does exist!

At the same time, I believe God can hate, like or love certain individuals, I also believe he has varying feelings pertaining to various groups in general. To me, it’s rather obvious he hates Jews, for example. He had 6 million of us killed after all, but I think he hates gays even more. I mean, look how society treats them compared to Jews. I believe he favors white non-Jewish people, and nowadays, blacks and Hispanics as well. If you asked me what I thought he thought of blacks a century ago, then I’d say he obviously had a beef against them in order to allow them to be made slaves.

Anyway, she said she was glad I was getting along better with Mary (who I’ll walk away from for good if she’s ever rude to me again), said Little Buddy and I are in her prayers (Gee, Mary, that’ll do a lot of good!), and told me that Clarence, this guy Todd knew, has been coming on to her in his letters.

Later…

Chris is going to be a blond after all. He got an email saying they were out of carrot-colored wigs in the style I wanted, so unless I wanted a different style wig, I could choose from light brown, dark brown or blond, and I chose the blond. So this doll may not get shipped till next week and I believe she’s coming from Tennessee.

The renters have been like they were last winter; outside constantly.

Later…

It’s freezing out there now! Especially with the wind blowing. He’s out there working on the trucks now. Tomorrow’s the day we’re going to weather-strip the front door and go under the house.

The package arrived in Sylmar, CA at 1:45, presumably their time.