I knew it. I just knew it. The feeling that they were bullshitting me about Tasha kept nagging at me, so I called PG. This time around I got someone with an American accent. After explaining how we’ve been getting jerked around and told one story after another as far as Tasha goes, she told me she’d call me back after she spoke to someone about it. At first I wasn’t sure that she would call back, but she did, saying what I always figured, that after the time we were supposed to receive it two months ago, the doll was no longer available.

I was like, thanks for telling us! All she could say to that was that she was sorry. I told her I wanted a refund which she says she’ll request, but I know we’ll never see the money any more than we’ll ever see the doll, which was what I told Tom up front. And who the fuck’s returning half our packages at the PO?! They said that just like with Amelia, it was returned. Before, though, the story was that it was sent to Mirana. Was the first hand-held sewing machine returned, too?

They totally deserve to get ripped off! But they’re just so damn stupid and I’m so damn cursed when it comes to dolls, that I know none of them will make it here, and I have my doubts about the two we ordered last night making it here as easily as the Playboys did too, and they’re also coming via UPS.

See, God may not be a fair God, but he’s a compensating one. I know this Tasha shit’s cuz of my getting away with an extra discount. Just like the form fuck-up’s cuz of the killer truck deal.

Anyway, the dolls we ordered last night are Mei Li and Chris. Chris came to $87 and Mei Li came to $57. After realizing that I have 11 blondes and just 2 redheads, I decided to have Chris made up as a blue-eyed redhead. I’m also getting her assembled since all they wanted for assembly was $10.

I’m not getting the Emme doll, the full-figured one, cuz she wasn’t as cheap as I thought she was and to me, she wasn’t worth paying around $100 for.

I might not be getting Dalene, the Playboy doll, either as the manufacturers seem to be having a problem putting it out. She was supposed to be out in November, but now they’re saying December, and December’s more than halfway through.

Later…

Tom had me scared there for a minute. He came and told me he got an email saying our “winged monkey” was on its way, and I’m thinking, that fucking doll curse! But then he told me that they turned around and emailed him right back saying, “You must think we’re crazy, but your Mei Li doll has been shipped today.”

He hasn’t yet received tracking links, and if he ever will, who knows? Meanwhile, both dolls should arrive by early next week, but I won’t count on it.

There are still dolls I’d like to get from Ashton next year, but I’m a little hesitant cuz they don’t use UPS, which of course, means it’s hit or miss. Ashton’s reliable, but the PO is not. There have been problems with 95% of our packages with both PO boxes.

We were discussing whether or not it’s up to Scot as far as how often his “clients” report. Tom says it’s not up to him at all, but I disagree. He says different counties have different rules and while that may be true and POs may not have the power/control a lot of people think they have, they can all still bend the reporting rules a bit, I’d think.

But it doesn’t matter cuz it all comes down to what God wants for me and he’s not about to allow me any breaks on account of his precious little ebonies, I assure you.

Next year, though, I swear things are going to change. I’m going to have a whole new body, a whole new career, a whole new life! Only the good things will remain. I don’t expect to have a perfect life, but no one will ever hurt me like this again. Ever! I can’t stop God from pitting others against me, but I can make sure I never suffer as much again. They’ll never “get me,” so to speak. I will only react in one of two ways from now on and that’s to either stand and fight or to leave. I will not be used, abused, tricked, bribed, threatened or manipulated to such degrees by anyone of any kind ever again!

I don’t expect God to allow me the power to grow money trees, to look like I did a decade ago without effort. However, I am going to do something I want with my life, and I am going to be a dollmaker. I deserve to do something I want to do with my life just as much as the next person. Maybe even more what with how I was denied past dreams becoming a reality.

I don’t expect Tom to suddenly turn me on the way Teddy Bear or other women have and for us to have this fabulous sex life, but I do expect not to be society’s whipping boy. I will not tolerate any more abuse come next October 30th! I respect myself and others are to do so as well or they are not welcome to be a part of my life in any way shape or form. I shall be treated with acceptance and respect or they won’t be treating me at all. If they don’t like me, they’re welcome not to have anything to do with me and I will make sure that they don’t. They will not touch, affect or harm me like they have in the past. They will not force themselves upon me and my home life and expect me to just sit back and take it while they legally fuck me over, steal my freedom and take us for thousands, thus continuing to force themselves to be an everyday part of my life if only in a whole new way. I will not be abused by neighbors in my own home, and I will not be abused through our warped, prejudicial system!

Got mail from Mary today. There was a letter to me, a brief letter for Michelle, who still hasn’t picked up the letter I sent on the 7th, and then the letters to the imaginary lover. She begged me to keep typing them for her, saying they make her happy, and I was like, yeah, yeah, as long as you don’t get carried away. We all have to have our quirks, I guess!

Later…

Just got the tracking link from UPS for Mei Li, but there’s been no activity yet. I can’t even say where she’s coming from, just that they say she’s set for delivery on Friday. Hopefully, she won’t arrive while we’re out dealing with the freeloaders cuz I don’t know if they’d leave the doll by the door or not.