Yesterday was not a fun day at all. I had woken up at 1:00 with a headache and was going to go back and catch a couple more hours of sleep after taking some Ibuprofen when Tom, who’d just gotten up, told me the form arrived at work last night.

So we stupidly headed for Casa Grande, not realizing that just about everything was shutting down and that meant all the notaries as well. I am so fucking sick of being teased with this money! All that time and gas was wasted, and of course, Tom lost sleep over it. He had only slept for 3 hours when he got up. So now I’ve got this major pressure on me to stay up as late as I can so we can get to a notary first thing Thursday morning. I took Benadryl and got a 4-hour nap, but I don’t know if that’ll necessarily help me. Do you know how much easier my life would be if I could just keep a schedule?!

Tom got more sleep after we got back and now he’s working. He’s had a tough time of it lately cuz all his employees are sick, quitting or getting fired.

Tom made copies of the form this time around so that when they go and fuck things up yet again, we can start all over again for the third time right away till someone gets it right.

How much hassle will we get with trying to obtain January’s stock money once it’s sold? And how much of it will we lose along the way after we’re forced to sell lower?

It used to be you’d almost never see pig cruisers, but now we can’t even go a few miles without seeing them. Everywhere we go there are pig cars, and I’m like, is something up there taunting me?

On our way back from our wasted trip today, next door’s two dogs were at the foot of their driveway. Tom made the comment about them being their dogs and I said I knew that and that the dogs have been on the land. The smaller of the two, and they’re both not very big after all, can be heard barking inside the house. It’s come on to our land to bark before, and I think that the times I hear it barking at night is when it’s on our land. Either that or right at the edge of it. We’ll find out in a few months when we get the fences up.

For inside strays, well, God just had to send us one more mouse before we taped the vent up. The only problem is that it got away. I had it trapped, but the door flung open and the mouse fell out and scurried under the washer. I reset the trap but haven’t gotten anything. I think it either went back outside or is too scared to re-enter the trap. Tom says it’d be dumb enough to get trapped again if it’s in the house, reminding me about Gizzy, but not all mice are that dumb. They may not be as smart as rats, but they’re not the dumbest creatures alive, either.

I was surprised to get a joke from Dave, though it was stupid as all hell and quite childish. I was wondering if he’d ever send me another joke again and asked him if he had gotten through all the ones I emailed him.

As I was going through some of my past journals, I came across something I’d forgotten all about. Apparently, I did send the black bitch a wacky letter with mish-mashed sentences just to confuse and annoy them in ‘97. I can see how some people may’ve perceived this to be threatening, although one letter like this to a grown adult still doesn’t justify throwing me in jail for 6 months and on probation for 2½ years. Nor does it excuse the pig’s abusing his authority, Paul’s manipulations, the DA’s ludicrous sentence recommendation, and the judge’s being deranged enough to go along with it.

Later…

I’m a little tired since 6-8 hours of sleep just won’t cut it for me. I got up at 2:00 and will crash by 6:00 and be up by 1:00 or 2:00 so we can go to Casa Grande to play form again. There is no doubt whatsoever that something has wanted me to get out of the house much, much more often since we moved. Fine then. Come the end of this freeloader shit, I’ll just make sure to get out on my own. If God really helps those who help themselves, I’ll make it a point to get out more even if it’s just to stand and stare at my surroundings so he doesn’t feel the need to force unwanted appointments on me like crazy, though I’ll take the old therapy, teeth, ear, and asthma appointments back anytime over the freeloader-related ones. Nonetheless, I’m overwhelmed with appointments as usual right now. Gotta play form all over again tomorrow, have Scot stop by the first week of January, see Scot on the 8th, see the dentist soon, then the ear doctor and God knows who else.

I slept with the fan on higher, figuring someone would be likely to either get an ATV for Christmas or at least ride around on one they’ve already got, but I haven’t heard any buzzing since I’ve been up. Of course, I did have to hear someone’s music, if only faintly and if only outdoors.

Tom’s been working on the truck for hours now. I hope he gets whatever gifts are waiting for us soon, cuz every year someone gets us food and I want all the junk gone before the diet starts. Again, exercise alone just won’t cut it for losing weight. It’ll keep you fit and help you keep the weight off, but it won’t lose the weight. One must diet in order to lose weight. My working out has been at an all-time low this last month and that’s why I’ve gained so much weight and am 135 instead of 125. Once again, there really is no max for me. Most people who don’t diet or exercise stop gaining weight at some point, but I know I’d never stop if I continued on the way I have. I could easily end up over 200 pounds in time. If I’d kept working out I would’ve stayed at 125, but without that, there’s simply no end to the amount of weight I’d gain. I guess maybe a part of me let myself get so out of hand as to motivate me all the more. Tom and I agreed we’d take before and after pictures of ourselves and I know I’m going to be extremely disgusted with that pre-diet picture. I’m big everywhere, but my hips and face are horrendous. You could call me Apple Cheeks! It looks like I’ve got something stuffed between my cheeks and gums, and of course, there’s the giant droopy neck, thunder thighs, bubble butt and bloated belly. If I told people I was 4 months pregnant I’m sure they’d buy it. Either that or I recently had a kid.

Still no mouse, so it really did either go back outside or was smart enough not to get trapped again. If it is in the house, it’s not going to live long unless it’s too dumb to remember how to get back outside, cuz I’ve made it a point not to leave anything around it could eat.

Last night and the night before, Tom brought home an assortment of goodies from employees at the bank.