Tom had a good scare before he left for the store. He was working on the trucks when in the mirror he saw what he thought was the biggest dog ever, but it turned out to be an alpaca! According to my dictionary, they’re a domesticated, long-haired South American mammal of the camel family, related to the llama and similar in appearance. He said it was taller than me but shorter than him and seemed pretty brave. He got some pictures of it before it took off. So people let loose more than just their dogs around here. They let their horses roam free and even their alpacas.

They’re really jerking us around with the pension money. I just don’t understand why they won’t let us have the money. It’s our fucking money for God’s sake! First they fuck up the dates, and now they can’t even get the form to us. They’re like PG. First they delivered incompetence, then nothing at all. I asked Tom if we should just forget it since we’re close enough to January’s stocks, but he said no, we need more money than that. At least he was able to get a hold of them. I know he was rather upset with them the second time around, so I’m sure that as easy-going and calm as he usually is, he really let them have it when he called them last night. I’m sure they’re just waiting till my schedule’s right smack on nights.

Boy, if one ever felt lonely out here and wanted to see people, all they’d have to do was look out our kitchen window. That’d remind them that there’s still life out there.

I got it backward when I said we were 150’ from the street and 200’ from the south side. It’s the other way around, according to Tom. When I stood out by the street where I could see our house, next door and the renter’s, I couldn’t decide which one was closer to us. They’re both about 450’. The farthest rental’s probably close to 1000’ away.

Got my album’s stats and they really like to download the dolls while they view me. There are just 12 views on the Mice and Land albums but over 1400 of me. Of the 15 downloads, 13 of them have been dolls.

I saw a documentary on jailed/imprisoned inmates. In one breath they were talking about how random cell searches that leave their few precious belongings in shambles, leads to the inmates feeling powerless and enraged which is the effect they want to achieve, yet in the second breath, they bitch about the system not working. Well, this one psychologist was smart enough to recognize and say, “Of course it’s not working. When you treat people that way and you do things to provoke and enrage them, they’re going to lash back out.”

See, that’s the problem with this shit system. I’m not saying that people shouldn’t pay for their crimes, I’m saying that only the guilty, for one, should pay, the punishment should fit the crime, and they should be treated with a little more respect and not pushed around so much. The fucking lawmakers don’t seem to get it. They don’t seem to realize that the more you strive to control people, the more they’re likely to rebel and go the other way. Just like with the freeloaders, we all can only take so much. I know I never could or would be able to go through this shit again. I simply wouldn’t take it. I’d never let it get so far as to get me tricked into jail, and I sure as hell would never be a probationer again, that’s for sure. I didn’t choose to go to jail, but in a sad sense, I’m choosing to be on probation when in fact I could run. I could shut Scot and this state out of my life completely if I wanted to right now, though not without putting myself out big time. Of course, if I had more years of probation, then I wouldn’t be putting myself out at all by splitting.

I know most people are stupid beyond belief, but it’s so obvious that some people actually want to go to jail. People just get so sick of life. They get fed up with the long lines at the grocery store, the mounting bills, the screaming kids who won’t let them have a peaceful moment to themselves, etc., so they want to go to jail where life’s simpler. It may be a hard life in jail, but at the same time, it’s easy. You just sit there all day and let yourself be waited on hand and foot. Your meals are all cooked for you and handed right to you even if most of them aren’t very edible. You don’t even have to clean up after yourself.

Paula left another message. She’s always calling when I’m asleep or online. She said, “You must be asleep or sick. I’ll call back later, but only if I can. Justin’s always on the computer. Don’t bother sending email cuz Justin brought in a virus.”

Whatever. I mean, I just don’t care. I know all we’d talk about would be her man problems, and it’s only another few years before Justin joins his mom in court and jail.

This Flovent’s a waste of time and money seeing how I still have to take the Albuterol every day.

Why do they have their trampoline across the street? Does this mean it’s broken?

I forgot to mention how Mei Li was packed. It was ridiculous! She was inside a box that was inside another box that had Styrofoam pellets as if she was this fragile little thing made of porcelain. It even said fragile on the outside of the box! How fragile can a plastic doll be, though?

I emailed Michelle a very strange message. It’ll be interesting to see if Mary mentions it. If she does I’ll just tell her I emailed it to her by accident. I even put, Hey, Paula, I miss you! in the subject area. Anyway, I emailed journal excerpts from back east just to confuse her. I just wish she’d told me not to bother sending her letters from Mary rather than let me go ahead and take the time to type them up. Naturally, I had to mishmash some sentences to make them even more confusing and funnier, and naturally, I deleted anything racial or that may be perceived as a threat. I even omitted swears.