It’s good to know that while not in my case, at least in some other cases, judges really do get what they deserve. After all, when we play God with other people’s lives and toy with people as if they were mere robots or pieces of clay, we’re asking for trouble. Period. As I said in the message I posted in a forum in regards to a certain article I read online about a judge whose husband and mother were shot to death (I meant it when I said I wouldn’t let the sickos scare me out of adding my two cent’s worth, and if others can get away with using racial slurs, then I can certainly get away with what I said which was pretty mild), I have personally seen too much injustice and abuse within our legal system by insensitive, power-hungry control freaks. They think they’re invincible and already this judge is “feeling safer” now that they know white supremacists aren’t responsible. It was a man dying of cancer whose malpractice lawsuit was dismissed by this bitch. He killed himself at a traffic light when the pigs pulled him over and left a suicide note implicating himself in the murders, which DNA from a cigarette butt later confirmed. While it’s easy to say that it’s unfair that two innocent people were killed, maybe this will send a message to judges everywhere that, no, they’re not God. This judge wouldn’t even listen to the man’s malpractice suit. What’s one to do in a case like that? Go home and say, “Oh well, shit happens?” I wasn’t there, but I think the bitch was simply in a hurry that day. Perhaps she was overworked and overwhelmed with too many cases, and so the quickest cure for that was to dismiss as many cases as she could to get caught up. Nonetheless, I don’t feel the least bit sorry for this judge. I just think she should’ve been the one to get killed. Then again, because it was her family and not her, she’ll have to live with what she’s done and with the knowledge that she’ll never see her husband or mother again, assuming they were close enough to be worth missing. She’ll also have to live with her children’s grief, and maybe – maybe – she’ll be looking over her shoulder from now on, too. That won’t be a very fun way to live.

Another one that’s going to get what he deserves if he doesn’t cut the shit is Bob. His letters are decent for a while, but then I have to remind him yet again not to bring up sexual stuff and so on in a never-ending cycle of shit. He’s just a natural slut. A natural pervert living up to his label and reputation. It’s ok, though, he’s going to die in a couple of years, so he says. Until then, I don’t want to hear it, and I warned him that if he writes anything sexual that’s not the contents of a joke, I’m gone. I’m not going to ask again for him to knock it off, I’m just walking for good.

Bev may be cool, but I’m still hoping to move. Not just because I want to be in a place that isn’t attached to others, but so I don’t have to have people right outside the window. They’re already starting to hang outside more often and it hasn’t been that warm yet. Yeah, I knew God didn’t reserve this side for us without a reason. Nonetheless, I hope we find something with more breathing space that’s cheaper. Or at least not more expensive than here.

By next Tuesday we’re supposed to be having highs only in the low 50s which is more normal for this time of year. We’re also going back to having a 40-degree difference between the highs and lows. Although that’s not good for the electric bill, it should deter them from thinking of hanging outside too much.

Several nights ago I peeked over there because it had been a while. As usual, the place was wide open and fairly well-lit. Both sides were. At one point as I was gazing into Crystal’s side, I was like, oh wow, what a pretty aquarium. But then I realized it was a screen saver on a large monitor I was looking at.

Bev sure is a laundry fanatic. Yesterday she was hanging out what appeared to be rugs.

Later…

They’ve been going back and forth like crazy all morning and afternoon. I usually only hear 2-3 passes between 7 AM and the late afternoon, yet they’ve already made at least half a dozen passes. Just what are they doing? Are they running a home business or what? They must be up to something to need to see each other that often. I hope it’s not a weather thing. If they’re coming and going this often in the mid-70s, then I hate to think of what the 80s and 90s may bring.

I am so sick of that cavity flaring up! I’m also so tempted to write the queen and say something like: I’m writing this in the hopes that you would be willing to help me with a dental problem I’ve been having for many months now that’s getting much worse. I have a cavity that flares up on me regularly and I need badly to get the tooth either pulled or filled. However, his job doesn’t offer dental. I am uninsured altogether because they would take an additional dollar an hour from his pay to insure me and we certainly can’t afford that. Also, I’m cleaning houses and babysitting under the table, so there’s no real money or benefits there either. A dentist would want to do an initial exam and then take some X-rays before they do anything. I don’t know exactly how much this would cost. Perhaps a few hundred dollars. I’m asking you to please, please help me out here, and I’m only asking for a few hundred, not a few thousand. I’m in a lot of pain and am sometimes tempted to pull the tooth myself, though I don’t want to have to do that. We’re supposed to be family here, and well, I don’t understand why you won’t help us simply because we’ve needed help before. We did not ask to be in this predicament and if we could help ourselves, we would. Please remember all the things Tom has done to help you in the past without ever saying “no more.” He wouldn’t do that to you. I hope you will care enough to help me out here. It would be greatly appreciated and I will gladly send you a copy of the dental receipt to show you that the money truly did go for that if you want me to.

If it doesn’t accomplish anything anymore than his last letter did, could it really hurt? If anything it’d just give me more of a reason to let them have it when the time is right, and I figure I’ll know when the time is right, and let them know what insensitive, selfish assholes they are. This tooth isn’t going to hold out much longer, so if no one gives a damn enough to fill it, then I will have to pull it myself.

I often read the headlines on my homepage, and when I see shit like 50 Cent selling 1.1 million records in 4 days, it really burns me up. Like most rappers, he’s a former drug dealer and a current druggie who’s also violent. He uses his rap, also like most rappers, to vent his hatred towards whites and to preach racial harmony while he continues to shit on everyone. And I mean everyone. They have no more respect for each other than they do for us. Rival rappers are constantly threatening each other, and some have even actually killed one another.

The point is, what do we have to do to make money? Deal drugs ourselves? Kill someone? Why is it that more often than not, the most undeserving of people are the ones to succeed while people like Tom and I who just want to live in peace and not get any shit from anyone, can never seem to get ahead no matter what? And when we do get ahead, it’s not for long.

Later…

Next door has been annoying on and off for most of the day. Not only are they slamming doors and barbecuing, but two young guys are now throwing knives like Bev told me they did. At least the fan seems to be drowning them out and I haven’t heard any music, little kids or dogs. It fucking figures, though. It totally fucking figures! It’s like, thanks, God. Thanks a fucking lot! And for having my tooth act up when we’re broke and I’m uninsured! It’s like my whole life is listening to noisy people and struggling! I knew it, too. I knew from day one that these would be very outdoorsy people anytime it was over 50 or 60 degrees.