Well, there’s the usual bullshit going on in the news. A Mexican gang member involved in a gang rape/murder got his death sentence turned to life imprisonment all for being a Mexican and cuz they suspected the jury went by the “an eye for an eye” saying in the bible. Who gives a damn what the bible says! He should die for his crimes.

What I don’t get is why the girls he raped didn’t bite his dick off when he shoved it in their mouths. You’d think it’d be a reflex and an instinct to do so. I know if any guy shoved his dick in my mouth, if I couldn’t punch him in the face and beat him to death first, I’d bite it off even if it meant I’d get killed in the end. At least that way that pecker wouldn’t be going anywhere else ever again! Most guys are such sickos. There are just not many Toms in this world. They either spend their lives thinking with their dicks, are so damn stupid, or both. I have no pity or respect for straight men in general. I think most of them make their own beds and so they ought to lay in them! If I could make extinct all the men in the world except for Tom, I’d do it in a heartbeat. They’re one species the world could definitely do without. See, I ain’t just racist, I’m sexist, too! I used to think most lesbians were, but that’s not necessarily true. Lesbians are that way cuz they’re attracted to women more so than because they hate men, though some of them do happen to hate men. I think even most straight women hate them!

I got a couple of letters from Mary dated the 21st and 22nd and was shocked and disappointed to hear she still hasn’t heard from me. I know I’m getting mail from her faster than she’s getting mail from me, but I’d have thought she’d have gotten the first two letters by now. Then again, she said it took 9 days for my first card to make it to her. They’re either really backed up in their incoming mail, or somebody’s reading her mail word for word and maybe even making copies, too.

Meanwhile, they were all about José, and I’m like yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever turns you on. One of the things to turn her on is anal sex, which to me is disgusting. To each their own so long as no force or children are involved, but when she said she wanted to touch, taste and smell José’s ass, I felt my stomach flip-flop. I wouldn’t even do these things to a woman. She also tells me she’s excited about the idea of getting it on with another woman while José watches and that she wishes she could lick her own tits and pussy, because how much safer than that can you get? Both Tom and I had to laugh at that one, though again, to each their own. She said she thinks like a guy even though she’s feminine. Yeah, I’d say this is true! She has some gross fantasies and does seem to be pretty hung up on sex, but hey, she’s only 27.

She also praises gay men, saying how neat they are because they’re honest and neat and that if she had to be a man, she’d want to be gay. Well, I know I’d rather a gay male friend than a gay female friend myself.

It’s almost April and it’s still cold, still snowy at times, and I still want out of this state! I never thought I would miss warm weather so much! Not surprisingly, I don’t miss Arizona and most of the shit we had to go through down there, but I do so long for the warmth again! I miss summer clothes, sleeping nude, and not having to wear socks and gloves and shit like that. Trying to get as much space as we can will be doubly important in California than here, cuz if they dog their yards 24/7 in Arizona, they are certainly doing it in Sacramento and places like Redding. It’s funny how the shit we’ve gone through has made my dreams so simple – just for us to live happily and comfortably in a simple yet nice and functional 1000-1600 square-foot house with space enough around us so that our neighbors are seldom seen and very rarely heard, would be enough for me. All else after that would be considered a bonus.

I wish I had someone to talk to who knew both English and Spanish well so I could ask some questions. Estoy and soy both mean I am, but I don’t always get when is best to use which one. I read long ago that there is no set rule for when to use por or para which means “for” and that you just have to get a feel for which is best, and I have done so as my Spanish has gotten better, but there are still some things I’m unsure of.

I just hope he gets this job at the transmission place! Right now that’s our biggest thing. The guy told him to call him if he didn’t call him by the end of the week if he forgets, but I hope he’ll want to hire Tom bad enough to “remember” to call him on his own. He could have said that, though, to test him. Some places want to see how badly you really want to work for them that they will wait and see if you call them if they don’t call you. Something up there would really have to hate us if it’s determined to keep him at MCX and us in this duplex.

Things are still back to normal around here, but now I’m all stressed out knowing that she could have overnight company like that again anytime. I’m pretty sure it was a rare occasion and just maybe it was all about Easter, but still, I worry about her having company again, or moving and being replaced with something worse. I also worry about next door raising hell when it warms up or them too, being replaced with something worse. I try to remind myself, though, that it’s been quiet 98% of the time here and that noise will follow us no matter where we go.

For now, it’s a matter of going through all the steps it’ll take to get to either renting a place that’s more suitable for us in California, or owning one down there, and the depressing and stressful part of that is not knowing how many steps there’ll be and how long they’ll take. It usually takes years to climb back up when you hit rock bottom like we did. I wasn’t kidding when I said it’s so much more common for your life to fall apart overnight while it takes forever to put it back together. Only winning many thousands of dollars could solve our problems quickly, and of course, that’ll never happen. I just hope I won’t have to deal with too many people’s shit and noise along the way. If our lives are going to be budgeting to the point that we have to decide whether or not to get sweetener or Kleenex one week, versus what doll to get, I just hope we can do it in a better location. One that’s warmer and has more space around it and no one attached to us. I know there’ll be other noise sources, but I’d rather go back to an occasional sonic boom than kids stomping around for hours so much so that you feel as if the place is going to come tumbling down upon you!