Finally, some good news to brighten up the seemingly non-existent existence I’ve been having lately! I got a letter from Mary today and she’s due to be released on August 31st!!! Wow, the time has finally come! It must seem so unreal to her in some ways. I thought she was going to Arizona, but she mentioned going to NC where her brother lives, so who knows? She said she can’t wait to go to the beach, listen to music, and smoke a cigarette. Why she would want to start smoking again after so long is beyond me as well as how the hell she’s going to afford it, but it’s her life. I don’t know the details of her probation yet or if there’s even going to be any. There probably will be. That’s usually part of a reduced sentence of any kind.

I’m so happy for her, but at the same time, she’s been locked up so long that she hasn’t got a clue what she’s in for. I don’t think she has any idea, for example, the outrageous costs of smoking and having kids. So if she does go and get knocked up, I hope she can find a way to afford it, and I hope her PO and other agencies don’t hassle her. She may not have abused her kids directly, but no one wants to see anyone even remotely indirectly involved having kids, and I just don’t think she realizes how difficult things are going to be even without kids. So why she would want to go and make things all the harder on herself and on the kid is beyond me. Maybe she won’t, though. Maybe this time around she really will hang onto her life and her freedom, even if having no life is all the poor girl has ever known so far.

But how will she react if she meets a guy she likes and finds him abusive at some point? Will she be too nice and too forgiving? Or will she be smart enough to dump him this time around? Only time will tell, I guess. She certainly does seem to have learned a lot during her 9 years in jail.

In other good news, for just $17, Tom got a trainer that holds my bike stationary. That’s a hell of a deal too, seeing that they go for over $100 on eBay. We agreed to use my bike since I can’t ride his due to our height differences. Plus, mine’s so much prettier anyway. It’s a beautiful bike. I can’t believe it was only $80 and not hundreds. It’s pink and purple, my two favorite colors.

It’s set up next to the rat’s cage. I really hate being cramped in like this. I’m sick of living in tiny old dumps, but it’s been that way since we lost our house in 2004 and probably always will be.

Tom adjusted the seat and put a speedometer on the bike. The speedometer is cool cuz it tells you how fast you’re going, how far, and how many calories you’ve burned according to whatever your weight is. I rode 3 miles and burned 100 calories in about 20 minutes. I didn’t even feel tired after. In fact, it sparked a burst of energy and I went right on to do the dishes and other things. My ass sure hurt, though, till I get used to this seat!

I’d like to burn 200 calories a day so I can eat 1200 a day. I still can’t believe I’d gain on what my body would consider 1000 a day so long as I don’t get too many treats too often.

Speaking of weight, I dropped back down to 126 pounds. I was racking my brains trying to figure out what changed lately that may be the cause of jumping up a few pounds like I did. I wasn’t getting carried away with eating any more than usual, so I just couldn’t figure it out. I thought about it and thought about it and was ready to give up and accept the fact that it was just my time to put the weight back on for some reason, and then something came to mind.

Vitamins.

I started taking children’s chewable vitamins to fight fatigue which I sometimes get (having something tasty beats swallowing pills), but I didn’t see how there could be enough sugar and calories to make a difference. Until I did some research that suggested that vitamins can actually cause weight gain. Something about the way the liver breaks them down, I guess. So I stopped taking them and my weight has gone back down. After about a week of not taking them, I’ll try them again and see what happens. To think that these vitamins, which I usually take but hadn’t for a while to save money, could’ve been my problem all these years is amazing. For 6-7 years I was unable to lose more than 5-10 pounds. I wrote it off to just not wanting to bad enough, but I don’t know. Maybe it was more than a lack of motivation.

Anyway, I don’t think I’ll get below my lowest low of 125 pounds, but maybe I won’t have to gain the weight back after all.

My ear’s been acting up again. Gee, what a surprise, huh? Always gotta have something.

I awoke all through the morning with a series of strange dreams, one in which I seemed to be a ghost haunting my dad in a pranksterish kind of way. I would never be so mean as to scare him like that, but yeah, I was suddenly in their living room and I started making these weird sounds and then I laughed. He was startled, alright. I think he knew it was me, too. But was I really a ghost? Hmmm… I guess I would’ve had to have been in order to suddenly be where I couldn’t have ordinarily been unless I was visiting (in the flesh).

I kind of spied on my mother too, and watched her hang out in a large room somewhere with several others her age. I think they might’ve been playing cards or something.

Then I dreamt that we were back in the Phoenix house. Strangely enough, I’ve had more dreams of being in that house than in any other place we’ve ever lived. We were in the back room which was totally trashed. There were piles and piles of shit we were looking to sell. Three young guys (one might’ve been a girl) were in the room with us buying something at one point, though in real life we wouldn’t have people coming into our place to buy stuff. We’d have a yard sale or take it to a swap meet if we didn’t sell it on eBay. Anyway, the people sort of creeped us out. They seemed like criminals and just made us nervous. Then they gave us cash for whatever it was they bought and left. I asked Tom how much he got from them and he said $500. I said that was awesome and Tom replied with something that didn’t make it seem as cool as I wanted to think it was. Then it hit me that I should go make sure the front door was locked tight. As I did, though, I could see one of the guy’s arms just inside the door which was now open partway. I went to scream, but no sound came out. Then I awoke as I was contemplating slamming the door on his arm, or flinging the door wide open and beating the shit out of him.

In the last dream, I remember, I was standing out on the porch when Tom pulled in and got out of the car. Whiskey ran up to greet him playfully, and as he was running towards Tom, so was one of the renter’s dogs but from the opposite direction. In the dream, this dog was smaller and I was hoping Whiskey would attack it, but instead they began to play together.

I’ve finished reviewing past Italian lessons, so now I’m going to forge ahead with that and get on with new lessons. I still haven’t done any proofreading today, so I’ll get to that at some point, too.

I’m going to spend the rest of the night relaxing and doing fun things at a leisurely pace. Yes, this has been a fun, productive and busy week after all, and I’m so happy for Mary, too!

Tom ordered me two tubes of that Restore toothpaste for $20, including shipping, and tomorrow he’s going to take a bunch of stuff to the dump.