OMG, I found Rosa! And all quite by accident, too. First, of all, if you haven’t read my bio, then you wouldn’t know how we met or who she is. So just to give any newcomers a quick rundown, my husband and I lived in a house next to a house full of welfare bums for a few years in Phoenix. They were black and they hated me in particular not only because I was white and Jewish, but because I complained about them for being so noisy. It was actually Tom who sent the city a letter of complaint while I was the one to mostly complain to their faces, but that’s beside the point. The point is that unbeknownst to me, they had a cop friend who was just as black and just as hateful of Jews. So it was turned into one big old race issue that was really an issue of their behavior. We just wanted them to keep their shit for their ears only. Yet with the help of their pig pal I was set up for sending a threatening letter (piggy got my prints on it during interrogation if it wasn’t sent to them by someone else they pissed off), then tossed in jail for 6 months down in Arizona in late 2000 with a couple of years of probation to follow.

During this time of many hours of lost sleep, many thousands of lost dollars, and a lifetime of mental anguish no therapist or pill could ever fix, one of my 25 cellies was a Mexican girl named Rosa. I was 35 at the time and she was 20. She spoke no English and was in for supposedly killing her baby. Instinct told me right away she was no murderer. You just had to know Rosa to know this. While most people in jail truly are guilty of their crimes and deserve to be there, if not for quite as long as states like Arizona and Texas want them to be, Rosa was different in every way imaginable. I knew it had to have been either an accident or possibly done by someone else. Rosa had such an outgoing personality. She got along with everyone and everyone liked her. The only thing I did find a bit odd was how well she coped with the death of her child. I once even asked her how she could laugh, joke and have such a great sense of humor, and she said that to break down would only make her sick. I guess she felt that losing it would mean there’d be no return to sanity, to reality.

Was she just a very strong and courageous person? Or was she a sick, cold-hearted killer who fooled even those who are normally hard to fool and good with reading people? I’ll never know for sure, but what happened is between her and those involved. I never judged her. I tried not to judge anyone there that wasn’t crazy or a rude, obnoxious asshole in any way.

We were only cellies for two weeks. I gave her my address, knowing I would eventually end up in another dorm for the rest of my sentence, then I never saw her again. I asked one of the officers about her who said she left ad-seg and went to GP. Then I thought someone said she’d left altogether, and I assumed she was automatically deported. Yet all this time she’s been in prison in Perryville, east of Phoenix, heading toward Buckeye! Well, she didn’t actually go in till the summer of 2002, so she was at the jail, Estrella, for a year and a half. She’d have had the child there that she had just learned she was carrying upon first being taken into custody for 2nd-degree murder.

What sucks is that while you can always find records stating the facts, you can’t find any details. I’d love to read some sort of discovery or police report detailing the case and about why and how they think she killed her daughter, but I know that most of what I’d read would be bullshit anyway.

So here’s how I found her. I was actually on Swagbucks doing searches just to try to snag an SB. When you conduct searches, they give you suggestions on other things to search for. Somehow, be it by fate or whatever, I came across a database with info on active, inactive and absconded prisoners throughout the country. So I clicked on Arizona, curious to see who was still in the system, who’d gotten out, etc. I thought of what last names I could remember and referred to my Arizona journal as well. Once again, I am not legally obligated not to use last names since this is all a matter of documented public information, but I’ll skip them anyway.

I first searched for Myra and Hope, both in for child abuse and sexual misconduct with a child, because I knew for a fact from Mary that they’ve still got quite a lot of time to do. Sure enough, Myra’s max end date is on for 2030. Most inmates seem to get out a year in advance. I always hated Myra and knew she was as guilty as ever. I tried to convince Mary of this, but it wasn’t until Myra confessed her guilt to her directly that she finally saw her true colors. That was ok, though. I understood that sometimes you just gotta see things for your own self.

As for Hope, I liked her, but I didn’t. She could be nice, but would often stick her nose in other people’s business. If anything, I mostly liked her because she was good-looking. I usually like tall and dark, but Hope was tall and redheaded. It was obviously dyed, though, as she’s pictured with light brown hair that’s listed as sandy with a max end date of 2041.

I would absolutely kill myself in her case! Even a decade would kill me and I wouldn’t care how many hot babes in uniform there were for my viewing pleasure along the way! Nor about officers who may have a crush on me in return and help make my stay a little comfier as a few of them did in my case back in jail. No amount of fun flirting and eye candy or commissary could make up for the lack of sleep, the cold showers, the inedible food. When I think of these ladies, sickos or not, I realize I ain’t got it so bad after all.

I was surprised to find that Mindy, Myra’s equally guilty, loud, rude and scummy friend, got out a few years ago. She was in for crimes against children, too. I’m glad I never actually had to be cellies with these two, just in the same dorm.

So after looking them up, I decided, what the hell, it may be a long shot, but why not run Rosa’s name? I recognized her right away and was just stunned out of my mind, both shocked and delighted to have finally found her! Seek and you shall not find. I totally believe that. Whenever I’m looking for someone or something it seems I don’t find much. It’s by accident and when I least expect it that I find things.

Some inmates are smiling in their pictures, but not Rosa. She looks very sad and hopeless in her mug, wearing glasses, with a full round face. She’s definitely put on a few as do most inmates. Because she’s a Mexican national, they’ll definitely deport her once she’s released, which could be as late as 2025. Her last movement was in 2004, but I don’t know where she was moved from or why. I don’t understand what all the info means, but most of it’s pretty obvious. Rosa’s custody class is 3/3 while Hope’s is 3/2. I guess it’s a security level or something. I couldn’t find anything on the site to explain it. I also don’t know how regularly the photos are updated, but most of the people I looked up, which is most but not all the people I remember, have definitely aged and put on weight. Most of them look older than they actually are too, not surprisingly. The only one who’s doing ok for her age is Theresa, who’s still in for child crimes. She’s in her mid-50s but looks closer to 40 with no gray hair at all. I don’t think you can dye your hair in prison. Her end date is 2136. Ugh! Why bother living if that’s where you’re going to be for the rest of your life? What could you possibly have to live for with a life sentence like that???

I couldn’t find anything on Kim, Tara, Lora, Deanna, Tina, Carolyn or Tiffany, but I think Tiffany was booked under an alias at the time. I was really surprised I couldn’t find Kim or Tina. I know they’ve done prison time. Once again, could be an alias or me misspelling the names.

Ok, so here’s who’s inactive that I could find.

Jessica did a year for marijuana. She was an ok celly until Kim, who was also with us, kicked her ass as she went to attack her for not “giving her space.” So Jes was moved downstairs, then true to her flaky nature, she was laughing up a storm a while later, saying she was sorry, asking to come back with us as if we had any say in who went where. She’s got a goofy smile on for her mug and she got out in 2007.

Melynda, who was crazy, did almost a year for aggravated assault after absconding for a while, but I think she had absconded before we met at Estrella. She’s been behaving since 2004, from the looks of it.

Ida hasn’t been in prison since a decade before we met, but by now I’d say she’s getting a little too old to be causing much trouble having been born in 1942. She did just over a year for burglary.

Jamie did a year for narcotics and put on a ton of weight. She’s last listed at 250 pounds. That’s about 100 pounds she had to have gained since I last saw her! I never cared for her because she never shut up.

Both the nice Nancy and the mean Nancy did a year. I guess that’s the average sentence. But the nice Nancy who was a good listener when I’d bitch about whatever was in for child-related crimes, so how she managed to get out so soon is beyond me. Nancy the bully was in for assault and drugs.

I recognized most of the people I looked up to, but not Marian. She looks different. She did 5 years for drugs and prostitution.

Ruby, who was nice but not always considerate the same as Marian, did a year for drugs.

Misha, another one I thought went home not long after I did, didn’t get out until 2006 after doing 5 years on drug charges. I hope she still had time to have the kids she wanted to have. Misha was a great celly.

Now for the active ones who are currently doing time.

Madeline, who I’d describe as dumb and weird, went in for drugs last year and won’t get out till 2013.

Marilyn, who was one of my top 3 favorite cellies, is now in for burglary. She went in March of last year and was supposed to get out in April, but she’s not listed as released yet. She looks horrible, the poor girl, and super old. She’s not much older than Tom, though. Marilyn cracked me up. I loved how she’d get such a kick out of my jokes and such. It’s sad that such a nice person had to succumb to drugs and hooking. When we met she was finishing up a 6-month sentence after having only been out for a month after doing the same amount of time. I remember how she’d say she was scared to go back out in the real world because she was afraid she couldn’t stay clean. I guess her fears were justified, unfortunately, and she probably stole shit to buy drugs with.

So anyway, Rosa was an awesome celly for anyone to have that had to be in jail. We were like sisters and didn’t mind the 15-year age difference. I know that it’s important to most people to hang with people their own age, as many Kiwiers have bluntly reminded me of, but I’ve always welcomed good friends, young, old or somewhere in between. So what if you’re younger as I was once young myself? So what if you’re older as I’m going to be older someday myself? Age is really just a number to me, though I would certainly not have friends who were minors.

Rosa and I helped keep each other’s spirits up and we’d pass the time listening to music. She helped me improve my Spanish since she spoke no English, and she, like other cellies, didn’t mind that I had a crush on a couple of the female officers.

All these years I figured she was back in Mexico and hopefully living happily with her husband and whatever kids they had. I don’t know much about her. I never really thought to ask much since we had other more pressing issues on our minds. I don’t know how long she’d been in the country before she was arrested.

How sad it is to think she won’t get out till she’s older than me and the kid she had will be around 25 when she does. I wonder if anyone visits her. I hope so. I wonder whatever became of her husband. Is he waiting for her if he’s not in prison as well? Or did he divorce her?

I do remember her returning in tears once from a legal visit, saying that her lawyer said she could be looking at doing many years. She must’ve been a wreck come sentencing. I can’t imagine doing all of my 20s, then all of my 30s, then half of my 40s in prison!

So all I can do is hope she gets my letter and that she remembers me and that she writes back. Yes, I’m sending out a letter tomorrow. In Spanish, of course. I hope the address is correct, though there’s no doubt about her inmate number because it was right under her picture.

Alison read what I’ve got so far on Rainbow Dreams that I hadn’t planned to finish (at least not for a while), and said that if that’s really my writing without any editing, she’s jealous. That’s quite a compliment, though she did find a slight discrepancy I’ll have to check out if I do carry on with it.

Damn this entry’s long! I’m gonna proofread it now and then get on with my first Portuguese lesson. If I’ve forgotten something, I’ll put it in tomorrow’s entry.

Later…

Why are we getting all this rain in June of all months? So that the weeds Tom and Jesse killed can return faster? There’s even some thunder and lightning. It’s coming down so hard you’d think we were back in Arizona! I’m glad we haven’t lost power yet and that I wasn’t asleep.

Woo-hoo New Hampshire! Wish I could’ve been there just long enough for that historical and victorious moment when the 6th state allowed for equality. I get a kick out of seeing everyone hug everyone. Doesn’t matter who you are or if you’re a total stranger, everyone gets a hug, LOL! Of course I’d have had to be mean and laugh at the bigots too, for losing and rub it in good. Then I’d magically disappear and be back in my nice comfortable chair to write all about it. Their victory sort of helps balance out California’s decision to keep discrimination legal.

Just took my first Portuguese lesson and got a 93%. It should be easy enough being so closely related to Spanish and Italian, but the sound quality they’ve got going for this course is horrible! Sometimes it’s too loud, sometimes too soft, sometimes too fast.

Caught yet another mouse under the kitchen sink. We both agree that woods or not, this is getting to be a bit overkill as far as all these mice go, so as cute as they are Tom’s going to have to get some kind of poison.

OMG, the rain’s so loud I can barely hear my own voice! I better hurry up and post this before we do lose power if that’s what’s gonna happen.