Apparently, Marie and I are done with each other and that’s ok with me. She needs to move on, and I’m sick of dealing with her drama. Again, I care about her very much and wish her the best, but no relationship – be it friends, cyber, or live-in – should be this much work. I can’t deal with her paranoia anymore and her reading things into the things I say that aren’t even there. I just can’t.

She’s convinced that my asking that she cut down the number of daily emails to me because I’m busy really means I’m bored with her and want out. Oh, I want out now, alright. But it’s only because I’m tired of her childish mood swings and expecting me to play email with her every chance she gets to do it. She just couldn’t understand that I need to be doing other things in life, and sometimes I just don’t want to do email or even anything computer-related. Sometimes I just need a break.

Oh, and I have a roof over my head and food to eat, but I’m still not happy, she says. Yeah, and if I keep playing email with her so much of the time when I should be working, then we won’t have a roof over our heads or food to eat, and if we do, it won’t be by much. And no, I’m not happy being on unemployment for a year and a half. This isn’t the “ideal” life or what we came here for.

She just doesn’t get that just because she’s got free time when she’s awake and a lot of free time at work, doesn’t mean I do. I really think this is why she dropped out of class. I think she was so focused on me that that’s part of why her grade dropped. Unless she’s got a set time she has to be in class, these classes are online and open 24/7, so how her new shift can be to blame as she says makes no sense. But like I said, maybe there’s something I don’t know.

So instead of being understanding, she took it all wrong and handled it very childishly and immaturely by going off on me and then deleting me from sites we’re “friends” at. I hate to admit it, but she’s kind of doing us both a favor. I really think she needs to move on. Not just because she overwhelms me at times with all the attention, but because she needs to meet someone who can give her what I can’t. Or at least try to meet someone who can. A relationship may not be meant to be for her, but she’ll never know it if she’s glued to her inbox playing email with me all day.

I’ve decided not to read/answer any of her future emails/feedback to me, and if I have to mark her as spam, I will. I doubt I’ll follow her journal either over on Thoughts. Her overbearing ways, paranoia and misunderstanding of my intentions so much of the time have just gotten to be way too much for me. I wish her the best of love, luck, money and happiness, but that’s it, I’m outa here.