Between allergies and fatigue, I can’t say I feel too great right now. I have to have nose pinchers on – the kind for swimming – just so I can get through this entry without sneezing all over.

When we’re not feeling well physically it doesn’t do anything to help our mood, and so I’m rather irritable right now. Makes me almost wish She was here. Oh, what I could do to Her in this kind of mood! No, I’m not talking about my sister. Despite the hell she helped put my husband and myself through, for some reason, I don’t care to harm her. I wouldn’t reach out a hand to her if she were drowning, but I wouldn’t want to see her deliberately hurt. I should, perhaps, but I just don’t.

The last couple of days I’ve been on nights and I slept shittily. I wake up hot and then I’m cold when I am up. I’m sick of these cold nights and warm days! I wish it would stay warm all the time, but that’s not till June, and at the rate we’re going, we might not get there this year. It’s to be in the 70s the next couple of days, but then it’s back to the 50s and the rain. At least it’ll be easier to sleep when it’s cooler. I don’t know why I woke up hot. I had the window open and the fan going, though it was 79º in here and that’s a bit toasty under the covers. So I kicked off the covers, turned up the fan, and had Tom blast the cooler.

On top of that, I have been experiencing major fatigue and a period that just doesn’t want to come. It was due on the 21st, but all I’ve been doing is hovering between spotting and a light flow. This is the second month in a row I’ve had such a screwy cycle. I wish I could say menopause was setting in, but 44 seems a bit young for that. Don’t we usually experience that closer to 60?

Then yesterday – no, I’m not done yet – I noticed a faint but foul smell in the bedroom. Today I emptied the trash in there, thinking it might be something in that, but nope. The smell grew stronger. Then it hit me that one of the mice we poisoned was probably dead in the vents somewhere near the bedroom and that’s probably what I was smelling. So, since we’re not using the main heater, something I’m now more than glad for, I put packing tape over the vents. I hope this will stifle the smell, and the inevitable flies to follow, but I won’t count on it. We’ll probably have to seal up the other vents as well. Come to think of it, I think it is helping, and my nose is like a bloodhound.

Thank you, God, for caring enough and blessing us with a trashy old trailer as our only option in life, despite how hard we’re willing to work for more. Thank you for seeing to it that all doors for any potential opportunities have been slammed in our faces and will probably never open again for us at our ages. Thank you.

Yeah, we just HAD to be one of that 12%. 12%. What are the odds of being just 12%? Well, that’s just about how much of the population is gay or bi and I sure beat those odds too, didn’t I? I see a pattern there. Yup, a definite knack for “beating” the odds.

I don’t think Jesse was home all night last night, judging by the scattered barking fits I heard. Whiskey started going crazy right before 7am, so no more April to November break from the barking. I figured as much and that it would become a year-round thing. I just gotta get used to it, for once and for all, because I’m going to live in the West all my life.

When I got up this evening I thought he’d be out and they’d be going off, but I didn’t hear a thing.

I canceled my account on thoughts.com as Marie and I both came to suspect their site was somehow causing problems on our computers. My browser has been taking forever to load since around the time I joined them, and videos have been freezing up, although Tom discovered that Flash was responsible for the freezes. I thought the MagicJack was what was taking the browser so long to load, but I don’t think it is.

I’m probably forgetting something, but am feeling too blah to think that hard. As it is it’s taken me forever just to write this entry.