Today has been warm and quiet yet Jesse’s not home. Maybe there is hope for a bark-free summer after all, but I won’t hold my breath.

Some days I just can’t do anything right. I accidentally hot-keyed in the cell number for Marie instead of the MJ number. At least I got to hear that hot, sexy voice of hers again. It totally turns me on. She’s got a very confident-sounding voice. She laughed and said that at least she got to hear what Tom’s voice sounds like, and she’s sorry for being a fucktard. LOL, at least she kept it clean. Tom’s cool and it’s not like he couldn’t deal with it, but it would seem weird having her leave a dirty message for me on his phone. On my phone, anything goes! As always, there’s just something that turns me on about the way she uses my first and middle name, though I don’t know what it is.

Back in my days of entering sweeps, robo wouldn’t fill in flash forms and so we set up hotkeys. Control + S fills in my address, Control + D my DOB, etc. The cell is Control + N, and N is just two keys away from V, so instead of pasting the new number into my message to her with the V key, I hit the N.

Then I had to fuck up again when I redid my outgoing message. I don’t know how, but when Tom tested it from his phone, you would hear me, and then the automated message. So after researching their near-worthless help center to learn to do something that shouldn’t have to be so damn complicated, we got my voice off and just left the automated one on. So when she calls tonight that’s what she’ll hear till I call her at work within the next few weeks or so.

She also sent a fantastic picture a coworker took of her. Her face and her hair looked great. It’s not too short. I never did care for those crew-cut styles anyway. She’s not at all fat either and definitely looks younger than 43.

She refriended me on Facebook, but I’m sure we’ll get pissed at each other again soon enough. It seems like every other month or so we lose it on one another for something or another. Somehow I think there’ll always be a place in my heart for her no matter what, LOL, and I’ll always be her girl even if we can never be together. I still hope she’ll meet someone that’s available and that will make her happy, but I also hope she will still think of me every now and then at least in the shower when she does meet someone.

I will admit I play with her at times in a mean way and push her buttons like when I put words like Marie, email, fucktard, obsession, crazy, misunderstands and paranoid when tagging one of my entries on thoughts.com. I deleted one of my nasty rants. Despite her jumping the gun on me and irritating me at times and my reacting with such lovely and creative tags, I would never want to deliberately and knowingly hurt her in any way. I care too much for her and would rather completely ignore her than burn her in any way that goes beyond colorful tags.

I still want to see her too, even if it may not be such a smart idea. I guess the best thing to do is wait till she’s got time and money available, then decide this.

Eileen took her granddaughter, now in her terrible twos, for storytime at Barnes & Noble. But the kid started kicking the other kids and so they had to leave. I replied by saying she sounds like I was as a kid!

I was glad to hear the people that got screwed out of their unemployment and who had exhausted all their extensions are getting paid back for the weeks they lost, though I hope no one had to hit the streets before they could get paid. At first I asked myself, “What do you care if those people got screwed? You hate most people anyway, and you know most of them are probably assholes.” But knowing they got paid gives me better peace of mind for Tom and I.

I spent some time vacuuming and rearranging under the bathroom and kitchen sinks. What a mess those mice make! I think a rat must’ve been in there at one point. Some of the turds were too big for a mouse and none of our rats have ever been in there.

I love this summery weather, even if it may not last long. The trailer doesn’t get any newer or bigger, but I just love all the fresh air and the privacy we have here!