Still nothing from Nane. What a bummer, though it sure beats money worries. In a sense, he’s making exactly what he was making in Oregon since here they don’t steal a dollar an hour from his pay to cover the fucked up insurance plans small businesses had up there. Our expenses here, however, are one and a half times what they were in Oregon.

Back to Nane. She usually reviews a dozen or so submissions a day from what I can tell. Yesterday morning she only reviewed two, then was gone. But when I got up, I saw that she went back and reviewed several more submissions. So yeah, I’d say she put two and two together because if she had time to review lessons, she would have had time to at least re-send the Facebook invite.

While it is disappointing, I also don’t want another Marie D on my hands that has to message me a dozen times a day, even if she wasn’t a paranoid skitzo who was so sure I was pissed at her if I didn’t reply within 5 minutes. Even one email a day would be more than I prefer.

I also get sick of being deprived of these human experiences (lust) that I sometimes crave and always fantasize about, even though I know I would get bored with it in time. Then again, when was I ever allowed any so-called human experiences in life? Just the never getting any women I was attracted to as much as I was Teddy Bear, Nane, Kate and others, plus not being allowed a kid when I wanted one, was enough to tell me that I’d be cut out of some of those normal and oh so worldly experiences. Meanwhile, the closest I’ve got to the real thing besides my imagination is a bitch named Maliheh that checks my blog 4 times a day, but never ever contacts me.

Oh well. Nane may be too sane to be my cybergirl as far as God’s concerned, but I can still share a little secret with her in a couple of weeks or so. And while I can never experience sex with someone I’m drooling over, I can at least have sex with a man I’m only attracted to on the inside and who will only have sex for me and not for us. Wow, aren’t I just so damn lucky?

I sometimes wish Tom and I could at least be more physical. I don’t mean sexually but with things like hugging and back massages. But I also know that he is who he is. I can’t change him and I wouldn’t want to. Expressing my desires to him during our first few years of marriage about wanting more sex and more participation from him did me absolutely no good for the most part, so I just keep my mouth shut. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

Later…

It’s after noon in Germany and Nane doesn’t appear to have been on LM today. That swings me back toward the busy theory. I hope that’s it! Maybe sometime next week I’ll submit an exercise to her and see if she corrects it. I want to at least give it throughout the weekend to see if she contacts me over the weekend when she’s more likely to have more free time.

I’m wondering about Andy, though. He not only hasn’t replied to my messages, but he hasn’t been on my blog either.

Later…

I asked Maliheh to please reply to my message where I shared a funny joke I heard and said I hoped Hurricane Earl wouldn’t get her, but once again, I don’t expect shit. I even told her a reply would be nice even if it was to tell me to fuck off, and I would, too.

Nane was in briefly a few hours ago, but she only reviewed one submission. We’ll find out come Monday if she’ll review mine. I think she will, but I don’t think we’ll ever be friends outside of LM.

Later…

I’m finally getting some reviews on my Esperanto speaking submissions. One says to make sure I stress the second to last vowel in words with more than one vowel, and the other says, “Super!” Esperanto is proving to be as easy as German is hard. I’m 57% through 101 with a score of 98%! I still wish I was into learning one language only and not such a language addict because it would be so much easier that way. I have to really work at not sprinkling my Portuguese with Spanish or inserting Italian into my Esperanto.

I should probably watch what I say online in regard to LM because I’m getting a bookmark/direct hit from the Russian Federation where my Esperanto teacher happens to live, and one hit came when he appeared to be online. It’s not their first hit either. I sent a message to him saying that geography fascinates me and crap like that, asking whereabouts he is in the RF and what the weather was like. If he’s in Krasnodar or really close to it, then my guess is probably correct.

Of course I can get some guy from over there which I’m totally indifferent to checking out my blog! Why should the gorgeous lady I wish to hell would check in bother to do so? And why does it bother me that she hasn’t, just because she looks the way she looks? Even if she lived down the street, she and I are never going to get together, so why does it matter to me?

I did send a message to a Nane on Facebook that I thought might be her. After looking at the profile pic later on, though, I said nah, it’s not her. The person was too young and her hair was too light and too straight. On the other hand, some people use pictures of their family and not themselves. A few more days and I’ll submit an exercise and see if she reviews it. She only reviewed 3 of them today, and again I hope she’s just been super busy, though I doubt that’s the only reason she hasn’t contacted me. She did mention having only once a week to study Turkish, though she’s no longer doing it on LM, so IDK.

I think Maliheh may’ve been evacuated after all, because she only checked in once today and that was right after I sent her the Facebook messages. The news reports talk of her town as being one of the ones to be evacuated.

She’s also back to coming in via bookmark, though I don’t know why. I hope it’s not because she’s decided it wouldn’t look good for her to be clicking into my blog through my profile page if she has any hopes of “getting” me.

Later…

Maliheh just hit my blog. :) Maybe she wasn’t evacuated. She came from Facebook, too.

As of yet, Nane hasn’t been on LM at all so far today, driving my hope back up of it being a case of busyness. I still hope so and that we can connect in a regular enough way, but nothing to the degree as to how connected Marie and I were once connected. I do not miss that at all, though I do think of her still and wish her the best. Yeah, there’ll always be a part of me that will love an Italian hottie named Marie D and cherish those 7 memorable months together in cyberspace.

Later…

Nane came in and reviewed one lesson and I couldn’t resist sending another of my own to her to see if she reviews it. I know I was going to wait till Monday, but I ran out of patience. It’s early evening now in Germany, so she may not be on anymore today.