Andy sent me an email yesterday saying he’d been busy but was really happy for Tom and me. He’s been losing weight, exercising and doing well. He also told me something in which he asked – no, demanded – I don’t mention online, and so I won’t, LOL. But I can mention it in my offline journal. He sent me a picture of him and Stevie. He looked huge in the picture, but otherwise it’s an awesome pic! I knew he’d eventually meet her. I’ve been luckier in love and other ways than he has, but he sure has been lucky in ways I haven’t been, too. He gets to act out his sexual fantasies and meet his favorite celebs while I don’t even come close. Well, the closest I came was flirting with Teddy Bear in jail and a crazy skitzo named Marie online. Sad, huh? LOL At least I got Gloria to pay for some of the long-distance calls I made in S. Deerfield!

I crashed around 1pm, got up 6 hours later and basically let Tom have it because the bedroom was almost 85º. I propped the bedroom door open for the cooler to blow through, yelled at him some more, then fell back asleep. When I got up, though, I not only realized it was my fault for not leaving the door open but instead of switching the fan up to high I accidentally turned it off.

For those of you who don’t know who the hell this obsessive, stalking psycho is named Molly Rose M, let me fill you in. First off, she and I have never talked, so I don’t know how she “thought I was a cool one to talk to.” The only few words we exchanged were on Formspring before I realized who she was. She was once friends with Alison, one of my best cyber friends. After their friendship ended (it’s not my place to say why) Molly started stalking and harassing Alison’s friends. She follows me to every site I go to and I have to block her on all of those I can possibly block her on. On MyOpera, the block function only keeps her from commenting on entries and sending messages, but not from reading this or leaving messages in the shoutbox. I don’t care if she reads my blog, but if she shoutboxes me again – and I’m sure she will – I’ll disable it. I don’t need to have it around anyway. I didn’t really come here to socialize so much as to share my writing. Then again, maybe I should let her shoutbox away. It only adds evidence to my report about her harassing me and the unwanted contact I’ve been receiving from her. Hopefully, when enough reports have been filed, she’ll be banned. Better yet I hope MyOpera will have their block feature cover more than it does now.

I gotta wonder why some people bother keeping tabs on people they’re supposed to hate like I was questioning in a previous post. I don’t think Maliheh literally hates me. I think she dislikes some of the things I’ve done, and I don’t blame her, but while she may not hate me to the point that she would be glad or even indifferent as to the thought of me dying of some disease or in some accident, isn’t she supposed to at least not like me??? Then again, if I can’t figure out my own self and how I could have a crush on someone I didn’t exactly get along with and haven’t seen for nearly 20 years, how the hell can I expect to figure others out?

But anyone with half a brain can see there’s a huge difference between Molly and Maliheh. Molly’s crazy and always in people’s faces. Maliheh may be a bit of a bitch and a hard-ass (something I admit kind of turns me on as I like a woman with at least a little fire), yet despite knowing so little about her I have always sensed that she is a very intelligent person. She may be a bit on the serious side, and God knows I can’t imagine her doing the shit I used to do – prank calls, egging vehicles, etc. – but she’s sane and she’s not in my face despite being a regular presence. Then again, Maliheh’s sort of special to me, LOL, so she’s welcome to get in my face at least a little bit.

I dreamt about Anne and Harry B, my Italian foster parents. They were very good to me and wanted to adopt me, but despite being a ward of the state at the time, my parents were able to stop this from happening. They were a stark contrast to my next foster mother, a black woman who starved me down to 85 pounds while her huge and crazy girlfriend teased, taunted and threatened to beat me up every chance she got. I was 16 at the time. Tom and Maliheh were already in their mid-20s.

Anyway, I don’t know what became of Anne and Harry, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they were dead. I miss them so much! I loved them dearly and would always call them Mom and Dad. Anne would always sign off in letters to me letting me know that my Italian mom and dad loved me.

I had to stop for a minute because I was crying. Still am too, as I don’t know where in the world they could be if they’re still alive. We lost touch in the late 90s when I was still in Phoenix and I have been unable to locate them. How could two people very near and dear to me seem to have dropped off the face of the earth while I have no problem finding Maliheh who has become a regular part of my life??? I mean “regular” in that she follows my blog. Every time I see her on the list (if it really is her) it puts a big wide smile on my face. I will miss her immensely if those who theorize she’ll disappear at the end of the story are correct. cries some more She sometimes comes in on Facebook, sometimes via bookmark.

On to other things now as I don’t want people feeling sorry for me or thinking I’m looking for sympathy. I can get all the sympathy I could ever want or need right here from Tom.

Here’s another classic example of how I struggle with the ordinary things. We have a simple camera yet I just couldn’t take decent pictures of the beanie babies for the lots we’re setting up. I tried and tried and I did everything Tom told me to do, but they just came out blurry. Yet when he took them they were just fine. So I can’t take pictures, but I can learn Esperanto – WTF?!?!

Nane wasn’t on LM at all yesterday. So she went from doing 3 submissions to 1 submission and now none. I checked on Wiki and there are no holidays right now in Germany. Their Labor Day is May 1st. I hope she hasn’t given up on LM altogether. If she has then she won’t get my little confession I planned to send on the 15th, let alone a chance to review my submission or anything else. I wonder if she has kids. I mean younger kids. She sure acts busy enough to have them. But she also mentioned wanting to learn Turkish for leisure travel. Somehow I doubt one does much language learning and leisure traveling with kids, but who knows? I know nothing about her so anything could be the case.

And somehow I doubt that dream meant anything or that I’ll ever hear from her again. :(