I’ve been getting asked questions about mentally willing and influencing things to happen and how one’s mood and determination can have an effect, for either the better or the worse, on the outcome of things. I’ve discussed my influencing abilities in broader depth in my bio. Check the Oregon parts if you want to learn more about it and how it works.

I wasn’t even aware of my ability which I see as both a gift and a curse until Tom and others pointed it out to me. Sometimes others see things within us we don’t see, and they understand us better than we do. Most of my life it was just the opposite. I got myself just fine while no one else did. So it was quite a shock to have someone else figure me out and basically have to spell things out for me.

The land that we had in Maricopa, Arizona bordered part of the Gila Indian reservation as well as part of the Ak-Chin reservation. One day we met “Miss Perfect,” my SIL, on the Ak-Chin reserve at their Harrah’s casino. I was in a foul mood that day, but don’t remember why.

“She’s making me lose! She’s one of them!” Miss Perfect complained to Tom when I was within earshot, then she stormed off to wherever.

Laughing, I walked up to Tom and said, “Has she lost her fucking mind or something? How the hell can I make her lose? I haven’t been anywhere near the bitch!”

“It’s your mood,” Tom said.

“What?!” I said, looking at him incredulously. “How can my mood make her lose a game of chance? I get vibes, I have dream premonitions, I see things, but how the hell could I make her lose?”

“We figured it out, so why can’t you?”

“Figured what out?”

My initial reaction was to laugh my ass off when he explained that my mood and attitude had an effect on things with a little more oomph than the norm. I just didn’t get it.

But then I thought back on some things I won’t bother getting into here because it would take too long, and I began to pay more attention to certain things. Once I realized that hey, they really do have a point here (yeah, one of them), I began to actively try to develop my influencing abilities, though most of the time I don’t have much control over it. That’s what makes it just as much of a curse as a gift. If we’re driving somewhere and we get a flat tire, naturally I’m going to be upset. But unlike most people, being upset means triggering other bad things to happen as well, and that domino effect is what’s awfully hard to control.

Big wins would spawn other big wins back in my sweeping days. When I won the Caribbean cruise I was so elated that I won thousands of dollars the next week, and so much more. I will post my wins in a separate post, and as I’m sure most will agree, people don’t normally win things every few days like I did, both big and small. My mood is improving now that Tom has a job, and as the economy picks up, I will eventually return to sweeping. And you know what? I’m gonna win thousands of dollars again, and I’m gonna win things like iMacs, big-screen TVs and trips too, even though I hate traveling (wouldn’t it be funny if I won one to Germany and saw Nane, LOL?). Well, be careful what you wish for and what you write! It just may happen.

It is also very true that life can sometimes imitate art, too. It happened to Christopher Reeves who, after acting in a role in which he fell off a horse and became paralyzed, really experienced this in real life. Tom Clancy (I think it was him) wrote a book about events similar to 9/11 before that day came. Someone online said they joked with their mother about killing off her dad in a story they were writing. A week later he dropped dead of a heart attack.

In the late 90s, a friend and I were discussing stories we would write where we would “play” certain characters. I wrote a story of a girl who got set up and sent to jail. In jail, she fell for one of the lady guards who liked her in return and made her stay as comfortable as possible when she worked her pod (extra food, getting the cell she preferred all to herself, more time out of her cell). Well, guess who this happened to in real life? Yeah, you guessed it. Only the real guard (DOs, they called them which was short for detention officer) was a redhead and not Mexican. I spent about half of my 6 months alone in cell #3, my favorite cell because it was the most out of the way on the upper tier. I hated #4 because it was a big 4-man cell with much less privacy than the dark little 2-man cells I preferred if I had to be in the damn place at all. That was the best it got for those of us, like myself, who were in Ad-Seg, AKA Administrative Segregation or Protective Custody. High profilers, child-related cases, or what the officers deemed as “scrawny beauties,” a category they decided I fit into rolls eyes were automatic seggies. Still didn’t keep me proposition-free, though, as every few cellies or so wanted to play with me, and I don’t mean with just a deck of cards.

Back on with the influencing – it’s very important that you never kill off those you love or at least care somewhat about if you’re using real-life people in your stories! And you might not always know it right away if you’ve had a dream that is going to come true. And not every dream will come true. If I dreamt Maliheh called me, that doesn’t mean she will. It would up the possibility in my mind, but I wouldn’t count on it for sure. I did dream of Nane, however, telling me I was attractive, and of course I woke up laughing, thinking the odds of that weren’t good. And I hadn’t even heard from her for a few weeks and was starting to wonder if I ever would again when I got the friend invite on Facebook and we exchanged a few messages. She had not only been busy but surprised to learn that I was attracted to her, LOL. IDK, maybe she thought it was a joke or something, though she must get hit on a lot. Even at 50, the woman’s utterly gorgeous!

Other than an experiment I did, just to see if I could do it, a few years ago which was quite a success on this gorgeous cashier I knew in Oregon named Liz, I decided I would never consciously try to make anyone like, love or lust me. I want them to do this on their own if they’re going to at all. So if I had any influence on Nane – and I don’t know if I actually did or not – it wasn’t deliberate. Nane is elegant, sophisticated, classy, stylish, beautiful and smart, and so I’m flattered as hell to have any attention she’ll give me, but it ain’t deliberate. And I really, really believe that Maliheh, simple, fresh and less glamorous and flashy in comparison but just as attractive, really does hate me, LOL.

While some of us may be better at it than others as with anything else, the ability to cast spells, heal/prevent illnesses, and influence the outcome of things can be developed with practice, time and patience. This doesn’t mean I can get everything I want just because of my mood and determination. I’m not God. But I have had countless dream premonitions, “vibes/feelings,” and I do seem to influence the outcome of things with little to no effort.

Later…

Andy said he’s been busy still, but things are well. Also, the weather’s hot and dry there. He said he thinks Nane looks her age, but she’s still attractive and older doesn’t always mean ugly (unless you’re me, LOL). He also agrees that yes, people seem to be more available the more you’re taken. Lastly, there are more bi and lesbos running around than ever before.

I know there is. It’s so much easier to meet people and also a bigger variety of types of people. Back when I was single you had to pretty much go to a gay bar, and not the greatest of people usually hang out in bars. Goes to prove once again that a woman was so not meant to be for me. I don’t know why. All I do know is that while I’d never give Tom up for all the money in the world, I do sometimes long for the passion I’ll never have with women.

The rat was tugging playfully on my shorts, climbing all over me, kissing my face, chasing me around, and begging for treats, so I only got two pages done of chapter 16. I’ve been a real waste product today, trying to decide on things more than actually doing anything.

I studied my Evil Amongst the Evergreens draft and notes trying to get a sense of where the beginning of the end may be, but I’m just not sure. I think I can wrap the story up in 3-4 more chapters. Part of me thinks it’ll be done by mid-October, but another part thinks it could still be around Christmas. Regardless of when it’s done, this is just the draft. The editing process, depending on how many changes I make and how big they are, will take 2-6 weeks.

The question is – I have two other story projects lined up to go next and I’m trying to decide if I should at least start mapping them out and fleshing out characters now rather than wait until Evil is all done. Hmm… should I, or shouldn’t I? It would slow Evil down, but probably not by much.

As I told Nane, I’m planning to have a German character in my book (I thought she’d make a fine one, LOL) and so I’m going to have some of it take place in Germany. Want to help? If you do, the question is how should the lead character – not the supporting lead – who lives in the US, end up in Germany for a while so they can meet? On business? If so, what business? Or should she win a trip there? Just like the real Nane and I, they start off as cyber friends. So I kind of need a good reason for them to suddenly end up in each other’s company when they live 6,000 miles apart.