Tom said I was right and that being all nice and polite got him nowhere with the internet people. But then when he yelled and demanded a refund, they fixed the connection. Although I’m sure the pranks will start up again tomorrow since the bastards have nothing better to do than play with our connection till competition moves into the area, we’ll keep bitching about it. Meanwhile, it’s too bad it’s taken over 17 years for him to get that I wasn’t kidding about the benefits of being a bitch. It’s unfortunate, but “nice” has never worked for me when trying to reason with anyone. Not with neighbors, not with pigs, not with courts, not with anyone. You don’t have to be a monster, but nice is seen as weak, and weak is taken advantage of. So is being naïve to the law like we were 11 years ago. We totally regret everything we said to the pigs and in court back then, but it’s something we’ll just have to live with since we can’t go back and “get it right.” We learned what we now know much too late. First of all, it would have been nice to know what I was really being charged with and not be led to believe something else. Secondly, if my lovely public defender hadn’t withheld valuable info from me, they never would’ve gotten a conviction against me. But I was too trusting and naïve to put two and two together – public defenders work for the state and they are not on your side. It’s a money-making business just like any other and they will try to take advantage of you any way they can. The more people they can get in jail and on probation, the more money the state makes. Of the half a dozen or so people who had a hand in railroading me, some have paid the consequences, some are paying right now, and some have yet to pay. I just don’t know if it will be in this life that they’ll pay. As for how, some of those involved were illegals so that was easy; you just deport the assholes. In other cases, it can sometimes take time for the law to catch up to you if you fall into certain categories that tend to either be overlooked or overprivileged. But karma really does have a way of biting us on the ass sooner or later. I trust in karma a hell of a lot more than I ever have or will trust in God.

Some are paying just by having to live in the fear of what I may or may not do, be it legally or not, and just by simply knowing that I’m still out there. I could be down the street or I could be where I say I am as far as they know. Now I know I wouldn’t harm anyone who wasn’t trying to harm me, but I also know that they don’t know that and that can be punishment enough. But they’re the ones who chose to do what they did and so they’re just going to have to live with my “haunting” existence just like I’m going to have to live with always wanting to kick myself for being naïve to those crazy, barbaric Arizona laws. This doesn’t mean that I don’t live with some intimidation of my own for how do I know they’re not going to hunt me down and shoot me? I don’t know that. Yeah, I’m still out there but so are they.

Maybe part of why I was so obsessed with building up all this muscle is because I didn’t want to look “nice.” I look a little mean and I like looking this way. :) Like I said, no one’s messed with me since I lost that so-called innocent look and became heavy. My arms alone are HUGE. I have to laugh every time I’m out in public with my abs exposed and see people’s jaws drop at the site of the ripples. Hey guys, getting ripped is fun, what can I say? :) Speaking of it, soon I’ll go inflict some more self-torture upon myself and work these abs and arms to the point of fatigue. Screw counting – just work the muscles till they give out. Counting’s for toning, not ripping.

I took yesterday off so I was sure to run today. Well, I ended up walking more than running because I had a pain in my left knee. I was also wrong for the better in saying I had a 35” waist, LOL, when I came across the tape measurer. It’s still 5”- 6” more than I need but I don’t think I can get my weight any lower. Yeah, it’s frustrating working out just to stay 30 pounds overweight, but if I don’t I’ll continue gaining indefinitely. Staying 137 pounds is one thing, but getting into the obese range is another.

I left Nane a message but she ignored me. I know she was on Facebook after I sent the message too, but that’s just Nane for you. You just gotta enjoy her friendship in small bursts. It will be interesting to see if she remembers my birthday at the end of the year.

I also sent a message from my dummy account saying I, Kate, have the same crush on Jodi that Jodi has on you, so would you please unfriend her so I can have a better shot at “winning” her over? I was curious to see if she’d ignore it, and sure enough, she did.

Tom will be working at the end of the year. I saw it in my dreams last night. I just got the message “delivered” to me in a strange way. It was like we were in a regular house or something when I heard weird sounds at the front door. I opened it to find a mailwoman in a wheelchair. She handed me a duffle bag and asked that we fill it with food for the poor at our leisure. I took the bag and then Tom and I began to chat with her. A few minutes later Tom said, “I gotta go to work. Happy New Year.”