“Tu sei non un cane!” I tried telling the rat, but he still thinks he’s a dog anyway. When I didn’t let him out as soon as he wanted to come out and run around, he started trashing his cage.

Il cazzo ratto!

Anyway, I know I’ve bitched about this before but sometimes I am just so sick and tired of having so much to do. It’s better than being bored, but this is getting to be a bit much. How did my life come to this? The laundry and housework alone seem like so much at times that it’s hard to believe there are just two of us. And when you don’t have the everyday appliances to help you with any of it, it more than doubles the work. But dishwashers and normal, full-sized washers and dryers are nothing we’ll ever have again. So I have to settle for our puny little washer which turns one load into four loads, and then take the time to hang everything. Tom’s kind enough to do the dishes when he’s not working, but still, it’s just so much work keeping this place up as tiny as it is! How did they survive in the 1800s, especially those with kids???

Every time I think I can sit down and relax I remember one more thing I’ve got to do. After 8 hours of tackling laundry, housework, cooking and entering sweeps in between, I thought I could finally relax when I noticed a button popped off one of Tom’s shirts. If he weren’t asleep I’d have screamed. Instead, I decided to sew it back on tomorrow. And I still have my online work to contend with - my journal, my story-writing, my language studies and more.

My life is so full of “not enoughs.” Not enough money, not enough free time, not enough time alone (when he’s not working), not enough Nane.

Either way, I may have one seriously fucked up schedule, but I’m a damn good housewife and proud of it, too. I can’t help but smile and laugh to myself when I think of what a fine wife a certain someone in the East would be missing out on if they ever decided they wanted one. clutches tummy with laughter Sorry, but it’s just too funny! Especially since I know they would rather someone else clean and organize things.

Just after midnight, I went to turn the sound machines off but then found by all the barking I heard that our I-don’t-give-a-shit landlord is still out at whatever bar he’s probably at getting shit-faced. How do so many people manage to stand such racket that only drives me crazy? I have tried and tried but I just can’t get myself to adapt to this one.

I dread the day (but hopefully it won’t come) when he starts complaining about the rent splitting because I don’t know that I can keep my temper in check. I do know that as long as I have to have sound machines on just to get any peace around here for the 6-8 hours he takes off a couple of nights a week, I am not going to feel sorry about splitting the rent, not that it’s our choice anyway. We didn’t choose the hand we were dealt in life. The bastard above did, apparently thinking this is all we deserve despite our willingness to work for something better. But hey, I’ve lived in funny farms, foster homes, jails, and schools that were run like prisons, projects, motels, RV’s, and for 36 hours I got to live on the streets, so what’s a bummy old trailer with shit for space, huh?

The good thing is that they are going to let him work next week too, but he doesn’t know if it will be for the whole week. He’s just filling in for someone who’s on vacation. And if he would stop waking up early that would give me even more alone time, something I’ve come to really value after him being home so damn much of the time, LOL.

Irene sent me a Schutzengel, LOL, on Facebook a few days ago. That’s a guardian angel. She hasn’t been on Facebook lately, and of course Nane probably won’t be back till Monday and she’ll probably ignore me then, too.

The chemo is really taking its toll on poor Alison. She tweeted that she quit chemo, let the cancer kill her, she doesn’t care anymore... 

That is just so, so sad. It’s made her so weak she can’t even drive. Although I’ve never gone through what she’s going through I can understand her wanting to quit chemo. I always swore that if I ever got cancer I would do absolutely nothing to fight it and I’ll always stand by this, too. Why make myself sicker than a dog just to maybe be cured? But she’s still fairly young and when we’re younger we tend to be more of a fighter when it comes to things like this. So I think that in the end, she’ll see it through.

I’m up a pound but after recalculating yesterday’s eats I’m certain I didn’t eat too much or too little, so I’m hoping it’s just water. sighs The dam ain’t gonna burst till the 11th. Teri advised me to stay away from foods high in sodium because that’s salt and salt adds to water retention. I was surprised to learn she’s 48 and a grandmother of 4! She also hopes to compete again soon. I still don’t have any desire to compete but I would really love a home gym to make it easier to keep building muscle mass.

Teri plans to be in Hollywood next year with her new husband and would like to meet. Me too, but Hollywood’s quite a ways down there.

I’m quitting running since it’s hard on my joints, but tomorrow I’ll be doing 1 hour of super brisk walking, 300 ab crunches and about 15 minutes of kick-ass arm work using both resistance bands and my own body weight. Sounds scary, huh?

Whether I’m high on both fat and muscle I’m definitely going to stay on this diet because it’s the only one so far where I haven’t had all kinds of random cravings.

We set another record weather-wise since being here last night when it got so chilly that I had to close windows. Never before have we had to close windows in early August. If it weren’t for all I’ve been hearing about global warming I’d never know there was any such thing. Not in this area anyway.