And so goes what will probably be my final entry for 2013. Gotta do my 2013 in Review thingy for My Bio that I update yearly while I still do my daily updates as well. I’m only updating Histofme once a month. 

Bob knocked on the door around 11am yesterday and said he thought we might have a leak. My mind first went into semi-panic/full-blown confusion mode. We don’t have an evaporative cooler, not that we’d need it in December, so what “leak” could we possibly have? 

Our street is on a hill and Bob and Virginia’s lot/house is about 4’ lower than ours. I peered over the retaining wall and could see water alongside their garage and driveway. At first I didn’t know what to do but knew I didn’t want to turn the water off to the entire house. Then it hit me that my lovable but sometimes absent-minded hubby left the water on when watering. Bob tried turning a valve at the corner of the house by the master suite and that stopped the water oozing from the little black hoses that feed water to the plants and trees along the side there. Again, I felt that urge to rip out every goddamn thing we got growing here and replace it with white gravel (red is boring). Just simple, plain white gravel. 

Anyway, I apologized profusely to Bob, but he waved it off saying it was no big deal. I’m so glad he noticed this and told me about it. I chewed Tom out when he got home for leaving the water on. I’ve offered to take over the landscaping, but he insists he’s fine with doing it himself. He probably feels more comfortable since he can reach things easier and that way he doesn’t have to worry I’ll hurt myself using any of the tools either. Besides, he knows how much I hate bugs. 

I still think he should let everything die off. It used to rain at least once a week here between October – April, but now it’s once a month. They’d get killed off pretty fast. Then little by little we can dig them up and throw them in the Green Waste bin they pick up every other week. The gravel would be a big expense, but worth it in the end. 

Looking forward to Andy possibly visiting in 2015 when he goes to visit family not too far south of me. Neither of us is giving up our bed to him, though. He will be thrown on what we hope will be our own brand-new couch unless he wants to stay in a hotel. Even if we keep the S’s couch, it’s not comfy for sitting but is actually quite comfy when you lay on it. We could probably run out and get him an air mattress if he really wanted, but he should only be here for a night or two anyway. 

He asked if I’d accompany him to a concert while he’s here, but as I reminded him, I don’t care for concerts. I prefer videos that I can pause and control at will. There are other things we can do when we’re not hanging out at my place – shopping, dining, etc. No matter what we do it’d be great to see him! Definitely easier for him to come here than for us to go there. No guarantees, as I told him, that we’ll ever make it to New England. 

Got a message from Paula saying nothing was wrong, she just wanted to say hi and asked that I call her. I called but got her machine. Then I got a letter from her saying she was sick again but would beat it. 

Uh-oh. Not the ovarian cancer thing I hope. She didn’t go into detail, but I’m assuming she did get or will get a hysterectomy. 

Thanks to my rare and often debilitating sleep disorder I am rather overwhelmed knowing I’ve got a trip to Hawaii, a dentist appointment, and eye appointment, and a primary care appointment coming up all in the next 6 weeks. I was tempted to cancel the primary since my ear is ok if we oil the canal regularly, but then Tom reminded me that it would still be nice to have blood work tested, make sure my thyroid is ok, and get my ingrown toenail looked at. I definitely do want that toe checked out. It can be annoying as hell. 

Also, while I’m content to remain big all my life like most older people, I do still wonder at times why my body won’t respond to a sensible diet. It’s the same thing every time; I lose a few pounds at first and think this is finally it, I’ll lose 20-30 pounds, but then I keep dieting while my body stops losing and fights like hell to hang onto its weight. And so I eventually gave up and just accepted that this is obviously how I was meant to be. I’d like an expert to tell me if my thyroid is off or if this is just naturally how I’ve come to be. If it’s my thyroid, then if I change my mind later on and decide to lose weight, I should be able to do so with proper medication. If it’s just me, then I can continue to do what I’ve been doing – exercising to keep from gaining any more weight. 

Even Paula, who’s just 18 months younger than me, has changed dramatically since I last saw her. People age, people get fat… I know that. But it’s still hard to believe that the 120-pound girl I last saw in 1991 is now 205 pounds! Well, she was but has dropped to 173 since becoming ill. I just hope whatever she’s got isn’t serious. She’s like me in that she doesn’t want many friends and likes to hang by herself. In fact, she’s more of a hermit than I am, so I don’t feel bad for her because she’s lying in a bed that she herself chose to make. But this may make emergencies harder to deal with. If I passed out from whatever, sooner or later Tom would come home (if he was at work) and discover me. But Paula lives alone. 

I hate it when Michelle whines about how rough blacks supposedly still have it. It is just such utter bullshit and I know it! 

And what’s up with Alison? She made 10-page views the day before yesterday, 1 yesterday, but hasn’t responded to my email or tweets. Unless that wasn’t her, is she mad at me? Or is she playing games? Well, she keeps changing accounts so I have no way to tell if she’s been scrabbling with Kim every day or not, but it is weird that she would peek in on me but not contact me. Hope she wasn’t copying entries for the skitzo, but like I said, if she could feed me information about her and Molly, why not about me, too? And why should I believe her when she says she hasn’t and won’t tell them anything? 

No views from Molly in a few days. She should now be back at Marbridge so we’ll see how well they monitor their charges.

Sent the last several months of journals to Maliheh. I suppose it was worthless, but we’ll see. I don’t understand why she hasn’t either verbally told me she doesn’t want anything to do with me or why she hasn’t blocked me and marked me as spam. If she doesn’t want to be friends, then why not say so, and why read my messages? It’s like she doesn’t want to be friends, but still wants to know what’s up with me, WTF? She’s a hard one to figure. Bad news and hard to figure. I don’t know why I bothered to send anything. Guess I had a moment’s boredom. 

It wasn’t till after I posted my last entry that I remembered the dreams. In one dream Tom and I jumped into a small truck that sort of looked like a rental truck for moving, and he sped off down a grassy road that opened up into a field. I told him to slow down. 

Then he pressed some button and we were suddenly outside of the truck watching it speed off. He turned to me and said, “I love you, Jodi.” 

“I love you too,” I said, “but why’d you do that? It’s going to crash.” 

But instead of crashing into the stand of trees alongside the clearing, the truck stopped, then slowly backed up and stopped right by us. We got back into the truck and I said, “Don’t ever do that again!” 

New Year’s Eve is a time when the “psychic window,” for lack of better words, often opens for people like me to catch a glimpse of what may lie ahead in the upcoming year. I commented to Tom that I’d probably be asleep this year during that time, and he said maybe the “dream people” will give me hints. LOL, I kind of hope they don’t, for they are often the bearer of bad news. They’re already hinting at a very serious war. One that shouldn’t affect us, but that could kill more people than usual or that has been killed in a long time, if ever, by any event on earth, natural or not. If this is true I bet I can guess who will spearhead the deadly battle. 

Later… 

Got our luggage for $72. It’s a purple and gray 3-piece set that will hopefully stand out at the baggage claim area since most people’s luggage seems to be black, blue or gray. As I told Nane, too bad we couldn’t just borrow hers rather than buy luggage, schnäppchen or not, that we’ll probably only use once. Still, I expected to pay at least $150. 

It’s been about a week now since I started doing the Facercise thing. I’ve been doing an exercise to plump the lips, tighten the neck, and lift droopy eyelids. Not sure I see a difference yet. The neck is hard to tell cuz I can’t see my profile and am too lazy to take a pic. It definitely feels tighter in that area when I put my hand under my chin. My eyes may appear more open, but I see no change in the lips. 

I usually spread my housework over the course of 4 days – Monday through Thursday. I do bedrooms on Monday, bathrooms and laundry room on Tuesday, kitchen and dining on Wednesday, and our insanely massive living room on Thursday. However, I’m going to do two days of work in one today and tomorrow so that I too, can be free of work on Wednesday just like Tom will be. 

The rats have been played with, hugged and let out for fun and exercise, so now it’s time to shower and get my own exercise. Since the treadmill is boring compared to outdoor running, I do it in spurts. I’ll run/walk to a chapter of the book I’m reading on the Kindle, jump off, then do it again in about an hour. So I make about 4-6 runs. 

Been craving homemade mashed potatoes, so I’ll get peeling soon enough, and then start some of the housework.

Wondering if we’re going to be seeing next door out walking a dog soon enough, which would be just my shit luck. They’re not as close as the welfare bums were in Phoenix, but they’re close enough. Like somewhere between 15-20 feet away. 

What I heard didn’t sound like it came from a puppy, the only thing that suggests maybe it wasn’t next door, cuz wouldn’t they want to start with a puppy if they were going to get a dog? 

I was taking a bath when I heard barking that didn’t sound like it had come from the street, nor was I close enough to hear the mainstream that loud from that side of the house. I swear I heard the same dog a couple of nights ago. The barking also wasn’t “moving” like the dog was being walked. Plus, I heard it twice, the second time less than two hours after the first time. Faint barking every now and then in the bathroom I can live with. But when they’ve got windows open it’ll be just like being next to a dog that’s left outdoors all over again. If it was next door and it can bark at absolutely nothing during the nighttime, wait till daytime when people are going by. :-( 

Later… 

*sighs* Sometimes I get so sick of Andy’s complaints and moods that I wonder if he wants me to dump him or something. If I could turn back time to 2010 or whenever the hell it was I sent his letter to Marla’s place, I would definitely undo that move. 

He was pissed that I laughed at his 15°, yet he was just laughing at our 23° not too long ago. I swear he is an immature, moody hypocrite who loves to fling insults and just can’t seem to accept those who aren’t just like him. 

He doesn’t ridicule me for hating Arabs cuz he hates them too, but has in a sense, ridiculed me for hating blacks. That’s only because he likes them. But see? That’s the kind of person Andy M is. You’re ok if you hate what he hates, but you’re all wrong if you hate what he likes. 

Even though it’s a pain in the ass to manage multiple blogs should I later find an error or want to edit something, it’s my #1 obsession. I am TOTALLY addicted to blogging! I have blogs on all the major sites (and a few not-so-major sites) except for WordPress and Xanga. I hate those sites. The design of them is too busy and complicated to navigate. Meanwhile, of the sites I do like, I could spend hours decorating backgrounds, posts and whatnot. It is more than just a way to share my writing, but to express my creativity as well. 

However, most blogs are private or restricted and they will remain that way through 2014 at the very least. Therefore, I have told Tammy that if she wants copies emailed to her, let me know. 

Speaking of blogging, I know this post is boring as hell, but I really don’t have anything new to update on. Let’s see… I showered and now I’m going to eat and then hit the treadmill till the road runner’s schedule is such that she can get back to road running again. Exciting, huh? :)

I’ve told Aly that unhealthy friendships aren’t any better than unhealthy relationships and that while the crazy may not be able to help being crazy, they don’t change. Also, there are different degrees of “crazy” just like there are different degrees of physical illnesses. Well, some are a lot more manageable than others, ya know? But I also know that Aly’s an adult and who she’s friends with is up to her. 

Well, today Molly did something she’s never been known to do before; she dumped Aly. I was surprised, though Aly admits she didn’t get into all the details because she’s been so obsessed with her for so long that after spending years trying to win her over, I didn’t think she’d ever dump her. 

But we know Molly for the most part. Yes, the crazy can be as predictable as they can be unpredictable. She’ll email Aly in a few days or so crying and begging for forgiveness. I gotta see it to believe it, but Aly swears that this time she’s not going to give Molly another worthless chance and could kick herself for thinking she’d matured. The crazy don’t “mature.” I understand her frustration, though. Back in my forgiving days, I went through the same old cycle of shit. You forgive someone and they take it as an opportunity to fuck you over again. Forgiveness is definitely a bad idea for the most part. Certainly not in all cases, but I think in most cases it’s wise to just move on if things don’t work out. There are other people to be friends with. Sane friends that know right from wrong and fact from fiction. 

Although she couldn’t see anything, the troll made her first attempt in days to view my blog, no doubt to see if I mentioned her and Aly’s dispute. Like I said, though, the accounts she knows about are private. If I think she might know about something I can’t track, it gets set to private, too. If I’m pretty sure or totally sure she doesn’t know about an account I make it members or friends only so it’s at least out of Google’s clutches. Now, the accounts are still physically there like Facebook and whatnot, but she can’t see any activity. Ask #1 is down again and my tweets are protected. I also changed my username there. Changing u/n’s on some accounts will change the link altogether while other sites won’t alter the link at all. I love the ones that change the link. 

Then Mommy Dearest emailed her all about how she “broke her heart” or something like that. No, Molly isn’t gay, just in case the few who may see this are wondering that. She is actually quite prejudiced. 

Anyway, Aly said she didn’t even bother wasting her time replying and defending herself. That’s smart, and as I told her, defending herself is not only a waste of time, but not worth the energy. It’s easier to just go along with whoever and be like, yeah, yeah, whatever than to spend the time trying to convince those who should know us better (or don’t know us or the situation at all) about whatever. I know that sort of makes us the liars/assholes they may accuse or imply we are, but I guess the older I get the less I care about what people think, thus taking the time to defend/clarify myself. Does that mean I’m getting more selfish with age as well? Maybe, but if I am, so what? It ain’t gonna hurt anyone to think what they think, false or not. I told her this, too. 

However, I have caught Aly red-handed in lying to me (unless you don’t count not telling me your friends with these assholes as lying), and she has told things to Kim she shouldn’t have told her. Therefore, my trust has been shot in her but not enough to cut ties. If anything else happens, then yes, we’re done for good. For now, I’m just careful in what I tell her. There’s no point in telling her I’m going underground for a year, even though trolls like this often live in a time warp and will act like I’ve only been gone a few days if I do come back to the public limelight someday and if I’m right about their obsession being a forever thing if she’s just going to run to Kim and tell her she can look for me in 2015. I want to be as non-existent and mysterious as possible to Kim and Molly. Do I believe Aly’s learned her lesson and probably won’t tell them what we talk about from here on out? Yes, I do. No point in taking chances unnecessarily, though. 

Speaking of Kim, she's gotten into some other trouble with fan sites and the way she runs them or has in the past. Someone else supposedly called her out big time on pretending to be someone she wasn't and sharing tweets and personal info on them that she shouldn't have without permission and somehow her sister found out about it and now watches what Kim does online. It’s about fucking time the sister realized Kim’s not totally innocent like she claims. 

She also said Kim is far from perfect but on the surface, if you don't expect much of anything from her, she's really not all that bad. It's not true friendship, she knows, but it's enough for her to stay in contact with her. 

Well, after one of her little impersonation stunts nearly caused me to dump Adonis for nothing, I don’t see how anything with that delusional, lying, two-facing nut who can be anyone but herself, could be “enough” for me, but I guess that’s just me. 

It is better to have no friends than bad friends, and while Aly does have some good friends (hey, I’m not that bad or that crazy, LOL), I hope she will ignore Molly’s whiny messages, mark them as spam, and that she will get her fondness for crazy friends and unhealthy friendships out of her system. I can’t stress enough to her how she WILL just keep going through the same old cycle of shit with both her and Kim if she continues to keep in touch with them. But again, is it really my job to tell her she has to break ALL contact COMPLETELY if she ever really does want to be free of them and their shit? If she continues to contact them or acknowledge them when they contact her, even if it’s done every few months, she continues to feed their obsession and madness. 

Unless they want something, and other than to stalk and creep people out, they don’t give a shit about her any more than I give a shit about them. If I could snap my fingers and get them alone we’d never hear from them again, but that’s just not going to happen. 

Later… 

I wasn’t going to post this as a whole, but with a little bit of editing, I decided I would. Alison said it would be ok to share it since that lovely team can’t see it. As we knew would be the case, they’ve both sent her numerous emails. In italics, you’ll see what Alison emailed me. First, I see two understatements of the century here: 1. I see a perp played vic just like with the Phoenix welfare bums. 2. I see a mother who’s JUST as crazy as her daughter. Thank goodness these people aren’t black or Mexican or something like that cuz they could use that against us, and of course they would automatically be believed. 

Aly received 2 emails from Mommy Dearest and several from Molly. She gave Mrs. McFucked her two cents’ worth. 

Damn, these people really ARE extremists with no boundaries! Someone there made 2 attempts to view my LJ blog, but no time registered. I agree with everything you said except for hoping your email finds her well. Who gives a shit if she’s well or not? I also wouldn’t have apologized for your “rude” tone. You have every right to be blunt and angry. You’re being cyberbullied with unwanted contact same as I have been. I also might’ve concluded with “Do not contact me again.” If the laws ever toughen up when it comes to unwanted contact from bullies such as this mother/daughter team, you have evidence that you continue to receive unwanted contact. It is very important that just like I’m doing you never reply to anything else, so it’s good that you’ve got them set up to hit the trash, cuz unless it’s anything threatening or there’s a black person supposedly being picked on, law enforcement isn’t going to give a shit, as you well know. I don’t think a year of going underground will do me (or anyone else) any good since the crazy seems to have no sense of time. Molly will always keep checking to see if I’m public again and I think that each day will be like I disappeared just yesterday to her. Still, I’m ready to give it a shot and find out for once and for all. 

LOL, so she said she’d pray for you, huh? Yeah, that’s what the nut job told me, too. Meanwhile, I agree with everything you said. The disabled don’t deserve special treatment. I hate it when they’re treated in any kind of special way same as when blacks are. I agree that Mommy Dearest is responsible for her daughter and doesn’t she think that maybe - just maybe - the fact that so many people have dumped Molly is because MOLLY’s the problem? If Molly knows how to create a blog, she should know right from wrong. She’s actually apologized in the past in her blogs for bullying others, so she knows damn well and good what she’s doing, and I realize it isn’t that she doesn’t know right from wrong, but that she just doesn’t care. They’re like the second pack of welfare bums that victimized us in Phoenix before we moved; they knew right, wrong, up, down, but they lived without a care in the world and it didn’t matter how it affected others… or them. 

I also agree that if you pick on someone long enough, they’re going to react. That’s what not only my Phoenix perps didn’t seem to get, but obviously others out there don’t get this either. But punch people enough times and they’ll eventually punch back. Sometimes the only way to get people to let go is if we let go for them. So keep your accounts private and don’t use your real name if you don’t have to. Careful what you tell Kim, too. They may not be friends, but you know Kim has a big mouth. 

What I don’t get is why the group home isn’t doing a better job of monitoring their crazies and remembering WHY they’re there in the first place. After the 30th, we’ll see how many times she attempts to view my blog once she’s back in Austin, and of course if Harlingen tries, I’ll know for sure it’s the mother and not her. Pretty sure the last two days were probably Molly. 

Meanwhile, I’m sorry I don’t have any updates of my own to make, good or bad, but all is running smoothly for Tom and I. He’s enjoying having extra time off AND getting paid for it. Back when he was a temp the holidays actually cost us money.

Merry Christmas, even though it’s almost over, to those of you who celebrate it. 

I’ve got nothing to say at the moment that I should really be saying in public. Then again, I suppose one of them could be mentioned since the trolls don’t know about the blogs that are public or members only, and the ones they do know about will remain private for a year or more. Hopefully, they won’t find the ones that aren’t totally private, and hopefully, no mutual friends that know about them will share them with them. I’ll drop them like a hot potato forever if they do, or at least until they can get their fondness for crazy, lying, delusional friends and unhealthy friendships out of their system. 

I begged a mutual friend to please, please not feed this nut any info as to what I’m up to with going as underground as I reasonably and comfortably can. It would not only make it all for nothing but wouldn’t be helping to curb their obsession. The best way to deal with that obsession is by not feeding it, and the less they see/hear of me, the better. If after a whole year of being out of sight and out of sound, they start peeking at my blogs again (if I make them public), then I’m probably stuck with them for life unless drastic measures are taken. Exactly what drastic measures, I’m not sure. Hoping they get run over by a car? Well, they’re at least sick right now, thanks to me. Not going to get into the psychic mood influencing thing all over again, but like it or not, believe it or not, people seem to have a great knack for getting sick after pissing me off, whether I want them to or not. But it is because they’ve been both sick and busy that they haven’t peeked in on me. 

Because I went private on the blogs they know about, I may not know it when they make their next attempt to check me out. Then again, I may because my LiveJournal profile page can’t be set to private, and even with the block, they could still access the page a few seconds before the block is triggered and they get redirected to Sex Toyland. 

I just hope our mutual friend keeps her word. I realized that if she could be telling me info about them, she could do the same about me. She’s broken my trust twice already, as she knows, though I suppose it isn’t important what other people say. The point is to get them to stop coming to my pages, not stop them from thinking, talking and writing about me. 

I just have to be careful what I tell some people, just like I have to be careful what friends of mine with public Facebook profiles I comment on. The trolls have been known to fixate on someone who goes private, then remembering who their friends are with public accounts, they go to their pages to see what the object of their obsession is up to. Again, and as I told someone who asked me, my interactions with friends and family are no one’s business. 

Later… 

Tom said it was quiet today. He worked in the workshop most of the day and said all he saw was that little girl riding her bike with granny. That doesn’t surprise me. I don’t think that’s the same kid I heard yesterday, though. I think there was a kid visiting the house across the street. I heard it again when they left last night. 

Sometimes I wonder if Andy not only likes to rank on those who are different or that he doesn’t understand, but if he actually likes to insult as well. He’s made fun of my financial situation right before we started talking again. He’s made fun of my driving phobia. And lately, he seems to enjoy rubbing blacks in my face, which he knows I can’t stand. He posted a crying black when he was going off on his tangent about how “sad” he is for Tom and me not having in-person friends, and last night he posted some black rappers and said, “You'll hate this pic but don't you love these autumn colors in the background?” 

As I told him, he should know the answer to that by now. I’ve mentioned enough times preferring neons and pastels to darks and neutrals. 

Is Andy sure he considers himself my friend? I wonder this at times.

I'm grateful not only for friends and family, but just to be ALIVE. In 2004, God took our Arizona home. A few months later He took our Oregon land. In 2008, He took Tom's job. In 2011, He took our benefits and nearly killed us. In 2012, we pulled our foot out of the grave and fought back. In 2013, we went home. In 2014, we're going to Hawaii and He ain't gonna get this place, too!

Not even after the close call Tom had at work. They laid off about 20 people, some having worked there a lot longer than he has. I suppose a future layoff is inevitable. Just like those running their own businesses risk losing business, those working for others risk layoffs. This is why we’re determined to keep the savings up. It wouldn’t take just a few weeks to get a new job. Nor would he be any younger or less white. All jobs will eventually fire or lay you off whether you deserve it or not. I still fear we’ll eventually return to struggling. God has the power (and the proven hatred for us in the past) to see to it that just the right events occur to make that happen no matter what we do. If it took a long time to get another job, bye-bye savings and bye-bye to any hope of building it back up if it pays shitty.

On the bright side, there are only so many more years we could struggle. Even if he got shit pay from now till age 66, we could still retire comfortably enough then. So God’s only got about a decade to play money games with us, then He’ll have to pick on our health or something, and by that time we’ll be getting older, thus more likely to develop problems anyway. Guess that’s just life for you; if it isn’t one thing it’s another.

Someone had an interesting theory they brought to my attention the other day. What if there is no God or devil, they said. And what if the good and the bad that happen to us are influenced by the spirits of the dead?

Interesting theory. If this is the case, then I had more dead enemies than dead friends for a while there.

It was 64° when I went for my run just as the sun dipped below the horizon so I wouldn’t be blinded by it. It was about twenty after four. Lots of traffic about, and judging by the number of cars parked out there (there are 3 across the street in front) I’d say Christmas could be more active than one might think for a retirement community. Some houses have up to 5 cars, and one of the dead ends had cars parked all along the sides. At one point a couple of girls in their 20s came out for a smoke, and there were more people out and about than one may assume.

Minus the multi-hour basketball games, barking and loud music, there could be a lot of traffic and people hanging outside like visiting kids. I thought I heard a few kids when I was waking up. Probably those two girls that visit the house around the corner.

Another week and things will be back to normal, even if it means they’ll resume open house across the street and I’ll have to deal with the traffic that brings. Really hope whoever buys the place rarely comes and goes like the people across the street in front, cuz the car doors would be annoying. More so than next door even though they’re 20’ away and not 50’. Next door has a garage in which they do most of their door slamming, but across the street has just a carport. So until our own garage is up, it could get obnoxious if it’s often enough. I’m sure God will see to it that like most people, they come and go at least a few times a day.

Anyway, the person who suggested my lower backache could be from shortened hamstrings due to running and who suggested I bend forward and hold the stretch seems to have helped. Thanks! I’ve been much better the last few days. Still losing some hip flexibility, though, but our tendons and ligaments shorten with age so that’s probably why.

Tom injured his own hip the other night in bed. He rolled over and heard something pop and has had hip pain ever since if he bends over very far.

And back down the scale I go. The back pain is up and down same as my weight, but tonight it’s down, luckily. 

Tammy left a 5-minute message and after hearing about her knee troubles and all the pain that shit’s still bringing the poor girl, she said my animal collection was cute but get rid of the fucking snake. I burst out laughing at that one, LOL. 

Nane left a cute little Santa dressed in pink on my wall and I returned one in blue, her favorite color. 

My raccoon was supposed to arrive today, but instead I got the prairie dog trio. So cute! 

Later… 

The raccoon did arrive after all. Didn’t expect them to come as late as 8:30, so I guess they either had the code to the gate or were already in the park making deliveries after the gate shut. It took him forever to find the damn thing after he pulled up, but my raccoon is a little cutie. 

We might check into boarding the rats at a vet or something like that while we’re gone. I know they’d be just fine, but it’d still be nice if they could be around people. Even if I had friends and family nearby, no one would want to take them cuz they either have cats or dogs or they’re afraid of them. It’s just that the vet probably isn’t gonna let them run around loose or give them hugs and kisses and treats. Also, there may be loud barking there that may scare them. 

They’re doing laundry time right now. When I don’t want them distracting me with their nocturnal racket they get kicked out of the living room and sent to play in the laundry room, haha. 

Looked up some facial exercises on YouTube and while I’m not overly appearance-conscious I am curious to see if they actually work. So I’m doing one that lifts droopy eyelids, plumps thin lips, and lifts turkey necks and droopy jowls. 

Ok, this fatty, who is ironically still smaller than your average US woman, is going to get in a 20-30 minute cardio/strength workout. 

No views from Mommy or Molly – wow! How long can they restrain themselves, though? One day? Two? A week tops? Wonder if it’s because they’ve gone out of town for the holidays.

So now the mother and daughter team that’s been cyberstalking me is looking up Google web cache snapshots to view stuff of mine on LiveJournal that is now private and that they are blocked from. What a great way to beat the block too, since this is an image of a page and not the actual page itself, thus preventing the block from being triggered.

Do they think this is funny or something? Well, I don’t! This die-hard obsession of theirs is getting downright creepy. Just what is it they think they’re looking for anyway? Why are they constantly digging for what they think will hold such interest for them? Do they think I have some secret formula hidden in my blog for eternal youth? Or one that will make them rich?

I see a lot of a certain black bitch in Arizona in Mommy Dearest, and that’s what makes it scarier. It isn’t that I fear they’ll come hunt me down and kill me, but more of a fear of being legally victimized even though I haven’t done a damn thing wrong. I guess it’s a normal paranoia to have after what happened in Arizona until I was vindicated. Again, I haven’t done anything wrong. I don’t see how they could screw me. But how the hell do I know that they don’t have their own cop friend ready and willing to fabricate false evidence against me? I totally, totally see a vengeful side come out in this woman whenever she’s contacted me. She may be just as crazy as her daughter in some ways, and she may be just as big of a liar, but she’s got some intelligence, and she’s definitely the type that won’t hesitate to spite someone she doesn’t like no matter who gets hurt along the way. I know her type. Hell-bent on revenge.

Anyway, it’s wondering what the hell is motivating them that’s a little scary. Crazy has no logic and there may be no logic to crazy, but the mother’s more mean and vindictive than crazy. Surprised she hasn’t reset her IP# to get through the block. I went private on blogs I know they know about, though, so blocks don’t matter at this point. But looking for cached stuff from before I went private is a bit chilling for some reason. These people have made it clear that they hate my guts. Therefore, my blogs should be of absolutely NO interest to them whatsoever. Maybe someday they will FINALLY quit worrying about what I’m doing and just move on. There’s no need or reason to keep trying to view my stuff. That’s why I worry they suddenly think it’s their job to “supervise” me and are looking for ways to “get” me.

Later…

I was pleased to wake up with no back pain at all. But a few hours later I went for a quick run, and the pain returned for a while. WTF? So is it caused by running or my mattress? Well, I have a doctor’s appointment next month. I’ll see if I can find out what’s up then.

Last night I made an egg brunch in the slow cooker and did more cooking than I usually do in a year. Had to look online to learn that a "clove" of garlic isn't the entire thing of garlic. Thank goodness I didn't mince and dump the whole thing in! And thank goodness for the Internet, too.

Anyway, it takes 8-10 hours to cook and serves almost a dozen. You mince garlic, onion, and green bell pepper and sauté it. Then you put layers of hash browns, shredded cheese, the veggies, and bacon bits in the cooker. After you mix a dozen eggs and some dill, salt, and pepper in a bowl with a cup of milk, you pour it on top of the concoction. I was worried at first the cooker wouldn't be big enough. It was, though, and it even shrunk down a few inches after it cooked a while.

The food came out surprisingly and disappointingly bland. It was a lotta work for a lotta boringness. Some cook I am! I'll stick to writing and languages. Hell, I can even sing a million times better than I can cook.

Gained 2 pounds in 2 days. Ok, so I’m not going to lose weight after all. Didn’t really think I would. I usually bounce within the same 5-pound range depending on where I am in my cycle.

Dishonest or not, I decided to tell Andy and Tammy we’ll be at a coworker’s of Tom’s during Christmas, but for different reasons. No matter how understanding one may be, people just don’t get my type of sleep disorder unless they have it too, so rather than tell Tammy, “Sorry, we can’t call cuz I’ll be sleeping all day,” which may sound a little weird, we’ll just be elsewhere that day. I’ll tell the same thing to Andy so I don’t have to hear how sad he is that we spent it alone, even though Christmas is just like any other day to us.

Later…

A few people have asked for my thoughts and opinions on the gay/straight/bi thing, so I thought I’d answer here. Well, I don’t think anyone’s really ever 100% straight or 100% gay. I think people are various degrees of bisexual instead. This doesn’t mean that every single one of us is regularly attracted to both genders or that we’d act on our fantasies, but it’s hard to believe there isn’t a woman on earth who considers herself straight who hasn’t been attracted to another woman if only for a fleeting moment, and even if she’d never act on it. Same with the gay guy that may idolize a woman he really looks up to or that passes him on the street.

I realize that many people would say it “doesn’t count” if they either never act on their feelings or they only do so once or twice, but I guess we have our own definitions of what makes us and others who we are.

Some have asked me why I married a man when I’ve been attracted to a larger number of women than men. The answer is that his looks, but mostly his award-winning personality, was just so extreme in a positive kind of way. It’s like checking out a handful of blue shirts in a store, all of which you like very much. But then you come across this one green shirt that’s truly outstanding and takes your breath away. Well, Tom was that green shirt.

I have always said that as long as one is happy, it’s mutual, and no minors or force is involved, to each their own.

The mouse figure came today, and I took a pic of it with the squirrel. It’s much smaller than I thought it’d be but amazingly detailed, as expected.

Someone in Mesa, AZ made a direct jump to my Blogger blog and spent an hour in it. I always wonder if it’s someone I once knew. Whoever they are, they appear to be in an apartment complex, so if it’s someone I know it’s not likely to be any of Tom’s siblings.

Worse was that Molly or her mother got to spend over a minute on that blog. They were kicked right out of LiveJournal, though. As annoyed as I am that they just can’t let go, ignore me and move on, and as much as it proves they’re both the biggest liars on earth since they both said they wouldn’t return or pay any attention to me, the thought of Mommy Dearest (that’s who I think it was) reading the crazy dream I had about her equally crazy daughter before getting redirected to play with sex dolls is rather amusing, hahaha.

Anyway, they’ve lost their reading privileges, and I decided that depriving them was more important than leaving those blogs public. Those two blogs don’t get much traffic anyway, so I’m not depriving myself or any sane, genuine followers by making them private. I suppose it’ll make them look harder for the ones they don’t know about yet, but I should know about it when they find them.

I keep waking up with back pain, and Andy keeps telling me to get a massage. I appreciate his concern and advice, but Tom will gladly massage my back for free, and regardless of who massages it, the pain’s only gonna keep returning. I’m pretty sure it has to do with my mattress, which sucks. I really like this mattress a lot. I can lay on it to read for an hour or so, and I’m fine. It’s only after I’ve fallen asleep that I wake up with lower back pain and can’t lay on my stomach or my side unless I have the body pillow jammed between my knees. After I’ve been up and moving about and I bend over and hold that stretch for a minute or so, I’m fine again. Hate to think I might need a new mattress. And what mattress would I get???

Ran my usual 28 blocks today, even though I’m up a pound. It’s common to zigzag down the scale and not drop steadily like a rock, but it still won’t kill me to stay 20-25 pounds overweight if that’s what I do. Gaining that much more isn’t ok, though, so I gotta keep running. I just can’t get my calories down. I need my 1500 a day! Might even be closer to 2000 today since it is Saturday.

Hazel was out sweeping the whole time, of course. That woman looks so frail you’d think a strong gust of wind would snap her in half like a twig. At least the second time around she was actually gathering leaves with her broom. The first time she was just aimlessly swiping the broom at nothing.

Later…

Curious to see what she’d do, I commented on one of Michelle’s posts about the dinner she cooked earlier tonight. She usually “likes” her comments. Sure enough, mine wasn’t “liked.” I’m only keeping her and her sister because of Norma. Once Norma dies, her daughters are gone.

Aly got a kick out of those Molly dreams. Supposedly, with some special attachments, Molly could drive, but she doesn’t think she ever will. I hope not! She also said she probably would laugh at driving on the wrong side of the road.

She said Molly swears it’s not her that went to my blog but her mother in order to “make sure” I’m not bashing her or Marbridge. And what if I were? Would she come and spank me for it? Really, who the hell does this woman think she is, my mother, too? It’s not her job to supervise me!

Thought I’d do some writing now since Tom has gone into the other room to relax with a movie and enjoy some solitude after dealing with the idiots he works with all day long.

That was the fastest I ever received a package! We ordered the animals last night and by 12:30 the snake and hermit crab arrived. Love my new “pets!” An animal figurine album is definitely in order now that my collection is growing.

Anyway, my snake and crab look amazingly detailed and realistic. The eastern diamondback is a little smaller than the western diamondback. They’re about 3 feet. We lived with the western rattler for 5 years, and those are closer to 5 feet long.

I am learning that the people here are friendly but not very sociable. They’ll happily stop and chat with you on the streets, in the clubhouse, or at the pool, but they don’t invite you to their homes or suggest you go out to eat, shop, or whatever. I guess that’s the whole idea of being here, though, and that they came here for the same reasons we did; they want civilized neighbors but they don’t want to be bothered. So while it’s nice that I’ve met a few people and I know I could run next door if I needed a ride somewhere, I see no reason to feel guilty for doing what works for me simply because it’s not for everyone. My happiness is just as important as yours and well, if you’ve got a problem with my lifestyle, that’s exactly what it is – YOUR problem. I am, however, not going to go out of my way to avoid people either, as I said before.

Andy caught up on my latest journal entries and in regards to the one where I said I could never keep a rape child cuz I’d see the rapist every time I looked at it, “What if I saw me?” Good, interesting, and very thought-provoking question. I’m 99% sure I’d have gotten rid of it, but am glad I will never be in that situation to know for sure what I’d do or what I’d see.

He too was suspicious of the cable company’s note about the leakage, but Tom verified that it was left here by accident and that everything on our account looked fine. If it was someone up to no good they’d keep coming back.

Later…

Above is a pic of my dog, cat, horse, and cow. The prairie dog family is to arrive tomorrow. I’ll take a pic of them along with my squirrel next.

Last night’s dreams were both scary and funny. I didn’t go preacher punching but I sure got the ride of my life from Molly! :( In the first dream, she supposedly had a kid with someone at the group home. I thought it odd that she never mentioned the kid (which I assumed was living with her parents) in any of her blogs. Then I was sending her mother a holiday card saying that even though she’s “scary” at times, I wish her and her family the best throughout the holidays. LOL, definitely not anything I’d ever do!

Where it got scary was when Molly was driving me home. She doesn’t drive for real, but in the dream, she kept swerving onto the wrong side of the road, and I had to keep screaming at her to pull over. Every time I did, she would just laugh as if the possibility of a head-on collision was the funniest thing she ever heard of.

The only other negative dream was stepping on a scale and finding I’d gained almost everything back I’ve lost since we moved here. Good thing I was down another two-tenths for real. Part of that may be cuz I ended up sleeping forever. I kept waking up with lower back pain, something I still get even on this comfy bed if I lie in the same position for too long. I also had one weird dream after another.

The funny one took place at the clubhouse here. I casually wandered in and found the old folks sitting at several long tables. I smelled food cooking and asked someone what was going on. They told me that for $1.30 a day, you could get lunch there. Just as I was about to head home, figuring I could get my own lunch, a woman behind a long counter called out, “Cheeseburgers!”

The supposedly old and feeble residents of this lovely park suddenly jumped up, some so fast they knocked their chairs over, and ran like kids to the counter, squeezing and pushing each other in hopes of being the first ones served. LOL

Kim is supposedly up to her usual tricks on Twitter, according to Aly. I promised to keep it out of public, but apparently, there’s a lesbian who’s in love with one of the actresses from Full House. Kim uploaded a pic of that actress and is pretending to be her. The lesbian fell for it hook, line, and sinker and so now Kim’s pretending to be a lesbian who’s now got a crush on the poor woman that’s got a crush on the actress she’s impersonating.

One really has to feel sad, lonely, and like they are nothing in society to continue to do this year after year. It’s the only way she gets attention and feels special in any way. I don’t like the idea of deceiving people, but I also feel bad for her in a way. She’s over 300 pounds with the mentality of a kid and probably has never even been kissed let alone fucked. I hope she doesn’t dream of marriage, children, or both, cuz this is someone that will probably never experience the love of a good man or woman. She’ll never have any money unless she wins it, and she’ll never have any real purpose in life other than to live in a fantasy world like she does day after day. At the same time, I feel bad for her, I don’t. She is the biggest liar I have ever encountered in my life. My problem with people isn’t just a lack of trust in them thanks to all their lies, stupidity, and phoniness, it’s that I fucking HATE them. Most of them anyway. The few good ones that I know really help to make up for the assholes, and for them, I am grateful and I am glad to have them be a part of my life.

Decided to send a "Thinking of You" message to Michelle's wall and inquire why I haven't heard from her. She PM'd me to say she's been going through a rough time. Do I buy it? Not really. She manages to keep in touch with enough other people, but that's okay.

Now I know why my dear sister asked if we liked Amazon when we last spoke by phone. We received a card with a $30 gift card enclosed! How nice of her and Mark. Since Tom has a gift card he got from work, I used it to add five more figurines to my animal collection – a white mouse, an eastern diamondback rattlesnake, a hermit crab, a raccoon, and a prairie dog family. Presently in my collection are a dog, cat, cow, horse, squirrel, and a tigress with her cub.

I guess that when Tom gets the 3D printer he wants, we can eventually print our own animals. These things are solid plastic through and through. Not hollow molds. So how it can do that is beyond me, but it sounds amazing. We'd have to paint them, but I guess there are 3D models online it can follow. Sounds like it'd be fun. Imagine the rat printing I could do, haha.

Thanks to Nane helping to "Germanize" me more and more, I could understand the German that's sprinkled in the book I'm currently reading and could discern that "Männer sind Schweine" means "men are pigs." And then I accidentally sent her funeral flowers, LOL. I saw these pretty blue flowers and placed them on her wall, but I guess "Friedhofs" are commonly placed on people's graves in Germany. Oops! LOL

Aly had a funny dream where I was in my 30s and marrying a beautiful woman with long black hair and tanned skin. I wore a light pink tuxedo. The preacher asked me to repeat back that I promised to love, honor, and obey "Janessa" and I punched him in the stomach, screamed that I didn't obey anyone but myself, then kissed Janessa before throwing her over my shoulder and taking off running. My friend woke up muttering "Never a dull moment with my Jodi." LOL

This had me laughing so hard when I read it! At barely 5 feet, I doubt I could throw anyone over my shoulder and run off with them, but I just might punch someone in the gut for telling me what to do, LOL. Especially after all I’ve been through in life having to do for this one or do for that one. There comes a time when we have to get a little selfish. I reached my selfish point somewhere between the late '90s and early 2000s.

Thoughts finally deleted Molly's so-called blog, but I’m sure she’ll be up to her old tricks elsewhere. I’m beyond caring anymore, though. As long as she and her crazy mother stay away from me and leave me alone, I don’t give a damn where she’s blogging about what, and I don’t want to know about it either. Had to laugh, though, before they shut her down because she created another account on Thoughts as "librarygirl30" to defend herself after I defended myself against her slanderous bullshit. Well, not only is the username obvious as hell because she uses similar ones all the time, but so was the “Hi Molly. Thanx for calling me. I be your friend here. Hey Molly, what's up with this? Why does she say such terrible things about you? She sounds like a psycho. I see why you don’t like her. I going back to Marbridge next Thursday. when you coming back.”

Now perhaps she and Mommy will allow me to file them away as nothing but a nasty memory, or I will be going to their state if that’s the only way to stop them from being the on-and-off problem they have been for five years now. She emails Aly and I guess she's both pissed and worried. She should've thought before she acted, shouldn’t she have? Also, the story went from mommy not allowing her online at home or at Marbridge, but now she can be online so long as she doesn’t mention me. Like she’s really going to listen to her mother? The more you tell her to go right, the more she goes left.

Later…

Looped around Radiance after going up and down Oak Lakes, putting my run closer to two miles or even a little bit more. Still losing weight, but it’s going super slow. I was always a slow loser who could never lose more than a few pounds a month. Still not totally sure a significant amount will come off, but if it does (like the recurring dreams suggest) I’m about a year away from an ideal weight. WebMD says I’m currently 21 pounds overweight, but “ideal” in my book would be closer to 30. Again, I’m not counting on any major loss, but am loving the feeling the running gives me. It definitely helps to stretch and cool down afterward, but it’d be nice if I could remember to warm up, too. I keep forgetting!

Running every other day is working out well. On off days, I work my arms and abs which don’t get as much of a workout compared to my legs when I’m running. Running every other day keeps me looking forward to it, too. If I did it every day, I might get bored with it.

If I was sweating my ass off on a windy day of 59°F, I wonder how the hell I’ll manage to run when it’s dead calm and in the 90s? I’m definitely going to have to run at night when summer comes. Maybe even when the spring comes.

Strange that Aly and I have not only had dreams of me being thin but in my 30s. Only being in my 30s would be quite a nightmare for me. I miss having good vision, but having a husband who’s eight years older is a big enough age difference.

He cracked me up earlier. I finished cleaning the kitchen before the robot finished vacuuming the front part of the house. Tom was watching it sail across the room and asked if it remembered what parts it had already done.

“I guess it does,” I told him. “The manual said it would. But hey, it does what it does.”

Tom started laughing then and said, “You don’t supervise your employees?”

LOL!

Still keep going back and forth in my mind as far as what accounts I want to keep and how I want them set up.

Deactivated my first Ask account again because I answer enough questions elsewhere, some intelligent, some stupid, some ludicrous.

Meanwhile, most of my blogs are public with Molly and Mommy Dearest being blocked on the ones I know they know about. A part of me laughs at the thought of just where Mommy will be redirected to the next time she tries to access my blog. You know, the one she said she wouldn’t return to? Well, she did for 28 seconds yesterday. Someone in that household did anyway.

I’m on Twitter again too, though I’m still not sure if I want to keep that account or if I want to protect my tweets or not.

The more I think about it, the more I think it was the mother who went to my blog Sunday night and not Molly. Molly wasn’t supposed to be home till Monday. I thought it weird that they landed at the beginning of that blog. Then I remembered Mrs. M was nosing around my bio, which was at the beginning, several months back. She probably bookmarked the page.

Am still working on trying to get Thoughts to help me, since the bitch lied about closing the blog, and left a comment in my defense, for whatever it may be worth, but am not expecting Thoughts to give a damn. That whole site has gone to hell and I don’t understand why anyone blogs there. I can’t stand them. I will NEVER blog there again. Almost all the features are buggy. If anything, though, it’s just one more piece of evidence against them until Thoughts deletes the blog if it remains unused for 6 months.

Comcast left a note yesterday (probably while I was out on my run) saying that a cable TV signal leakage has been detected here which can interrupt marine and aeronautical communication, so they have to come out to the house to investigate. I called Tom and he said he’d call them after work.

We also have to call my old eye doctor up in Auburn. They took it upon themselves to make an appointment for me on January 30th (not Tom, too?) but we’ll be in Hawaii then. We decided we would stick with this doctor after all. Auburn’s only half an hour away and I don’t want to have to start all over with a new doctor. Also, I miss the Chinese place just a few doors down. Their fried rice was to die for.

Had a dream I was suddenly 37 again and horrified at the thought since that made Tom nearly 20 years older. His being 8 years older and knowing women usually live longer than men is bad enough!

Enjoyed my run yesterday, even if it was to the tune of scattered mowers and blowers around the park. As I ran by one with a blower and saw he was wearing headphones to block the sound, I thought to myself, that’s ridiculous! Why don’t they just make the damn things softer? They’ve made fans and a million other things quieter, so why not these things? Then they wouldn’t have to wear headphones and those around them wouldn’t be so annoyed either.

Every day this week I’ve had to listen to both the park landscaping and various residents. Saw that they use a huge mower in the common areas that they stand on while they drive it. The results are lovely, but I’m so glad we don’t live adjacent to the main common space, as I would hate to have that thing coming up to our windows.

Today’s strength training day, since yesterday was cardio. My upper abs are now flat again so long as I lay on my back and suck them in. Below my belly button is that paunch we all complain about, but oh well. Can’t win ‘em all. Off to work my arms and those flat/bulging abs!

Later…

Andy will be offline for a couple of days while he has new flooring installed. I hate to say it but I kind of enjoy the break from him and Ask.

Was reading more about the Jodi Arias case. When it comes to those who have been victimized in various ways – physically, verbally, sexually, legally – I am astonished, ashamed and appalled by just how many people are quick to support the perps, quite often without learning the full story beforehand.

Travis Alexander’s family is being called “selfish” for wanting the taxpayers to help get the courts to seek “revenge” on Jodi. How ridiculous! If they wanted them to pay to throw her in jail cuz they didn’t like something she said, believes, or the style of her clothing, then of course that would be wrong. But I honestly don’t see how it’s “selfish” of them to want a brutal killer to pay for her crimes. Hell, I don’t even know her and I want to see her finally pay. I know she deserves death, but am expecting life. It’s better than nothing, though.

And what about the Jaycee Dugard case? IDK, but some of it just doesn’t ring true. I saw a lengthy interview of her and she just seems too normal for someone who was supposedly kidnapped and raped for 18 years. I don’t doubt that something happened, but she’s just too sane and too intelligent for having been through an ordeal so heinous. And what about the two kids she had with the monster? How can she stand to look at them knowing where they came from? They say a mother’s love knows no boundaries, but come on, there’s gotta be some limits. The second I had a child of rape I would get rid of it because every time I looked at it I would see HIM. I wouldn’t blame it for what happened and I know it wouldn’t be its fault, but I know I couldn’t stand to look at it. I don’t see why any woman would want anything her abductor/rapist could give her whether it was a child or a piece of jewelry.

And why did she pass up the numerous opportunities she had to escape? I know many say she was brainwashed and scared, but so were others who escaped their captors first chance they got. Jaycee didn’t have to be any different, did she? If she can be as smart as she is now, she could have and would have been smart enough to escape… without the journals and other “souvenirs” of her time there, including her captor/rapist’s kids.

Later…

Someone (probably Mommy Dearest since Harlingen hit my old Thoughts blog till I made it friends only, has been checking on and off all day for comments on the post where Molly uses my name. Well, they got to see the comment I left in defense of myself, for whatever good it may do. The mother is just as much of a liar as her daughter is, though. She knows about this blog and she knows about her WordPress blog, which she leaves a link to on her Ask account, yet she hasn’t made any attempts whatsoever to shut them down.

Tom called the cable company and it turns out that the notice about the leakage was placed on the wrong house. Then they better not turn our service off on the 22nd like they said they would if we didn’t call them!

Sugar’s got this new thing now when after we play for a while, he “takes” me into the kitchen and to the pantry door where he begs for a piece of Tootie Fruitie cereal. Haha, it’s so damn cute, too. I love that rat.

Romeo continues to be shy but manageable.

We’re thinking of setting up inside cameras so we can watch them and the house while we’re gone. We’re both 99% sure both them and the house will be fine. The park will keep an eye on the place. If our home in Phoenix was ok with a pack of drug-dealing welfare bums living next to it, I’m sure this house in a gated, ritzy community will be ok, too. The rats will be left with plenty of food and water, as well as each other to keep each other company since they often get depressed without other rats around.

Tom was hesitant to install the camera at first, saying there would be nothing we could do if anything did happen to the house or rats and we’d just be depressed by it. True, but the odds are nothing bad will happen, and having the camera and seeing everything ok would probably add to our peace of mind.

When I was out on my run yesterday observing the beauty around me within my gated, ritzy little neighborhood, I remembered back in 2007 when we were homeless. Although it was only for 36 hours, it was the longest 36 hours of our lives. How it pained me so to see my husband have to suffer after all his hard work, and to know that nothing up there gave a damn about us... but look at us now!

I’ve had no pain or stiffness since my last run and hopefully remembering to warm up and cool down before my runs will help. I found some videos just for runners that I follow.

Mrs. M's promise to remove Molly's so-called blogs turned out to be the bullshit I expected, but that's okay. I couldn't care less about what people read about me, whether false or true. Those who know me well understand the reality. I'm not bothered anymore, and once again, I regret deactivating this and that and making certain things private. I'm not the instigator here, so I refuse to run away.

I need to quickly devour a few hundred calories to fuel my nearly 2-mile run, and then I'll adjust settings later.

They were out three times yesterday next door, but everyone else stayed put all day except for the yellow house, which only left once. Where could a couple of old people possibly need to go three times a day??? I'm grateful they have a quiet vehicle, and our house is solidly built because it's just my luck to be closest to the one that comes and goes the most. When the sound machines are off and there's no music playing, I can faintly hear the car doors closing. It's nothing compared to when the house across the street sells, and there's regular traffic over there. I'm not looking forward to that at all.

The park was blowing the common area beyond next door yesterday, then someone was having work done on their house. Today, it's the gray house's turn for maintenance, and who knows what the park or other houses will be up to.

The after-work bowling party/raffle is today, so Tom will be late.

Later...

Stalking is still stalking even if it's mostly done within the gray areas of the law. But mark my words. Sooner or later, you will step further into the darkness... and I will be waiting. Waiting to bring the full force of the law down upon you. I have every right to be enraged when I am followed and watched by someone I want nothing to do with, and their being "disabled" or crazy is no excuse for their actions. It doesn’t make it okay. I also have every right to tell them to leave me alone and to take whatever legal and necessary action to make it stop. And make it stop, I will. Just because you may be too unwell to do what's right, those responsible for you can, and when they fail to do their job properly, the law can hold them accountable for monitoring the disturbed individuals within their care.

From now on, I refuse to run, hide, or make things private because of the lunatics in this world. If I choose to do so, it will be because it's my decision and not because of some deranged stalker. I will not hold back expressing myself about the situation, nor will I close off lines of communication. If they persist in contacting me after I've explicitly told them not to, let them incriminate themselves by building a case against themselves. It will only expedite legal action against them. However, I have blocked their latest IP# and informed my tracker not to notify me when they visit (even though the information is still being stored, just like with their provider). Ignorance truly is bliss.

But someday – someday – you’ll go too far.