Nane posted a pink vanity table to my wall as my Geburtstagsgeschenk. :) I’m glad she’s got a keen eye and is so observant because I didn’t even notice that the dresser drawers of our non-virtual dresser were messed up. Tom’s using the one with the rub-on transfer and he accidentally put 2 drawers in the wrong spots. 

I was surprised cousin Deb wished me a happy birthday, but not surprised cousins Michelle and Sharyn didn’t. They’re relatives but not family. I think Sharyn never really cared for me and Michelle is turned off by the fact that I don’t feel bad for today’s blacks and that I don’t see all this “racial oppression” she speaks of. She’s never actually said anything negative, so she could just be one of those who start off friendly, then drifts away like some people do. 

I thought my nieces weren’t going to wish me a happy birthday. Sarah started off with her usual “be yourself” and “I love my sister” and “I have the most wonderful daddy cuz he got me a remote starter for my car.” 

Yeah, abusive guys rock, don’t they? And how come there are never any posts praising Mommy? 

Tom said they’re not that bright and probably wouldn’t notice my birthday if it was right in front of them, but they surprised me later on after all. 

I got a cute rodent “card” from Nane and several other wishes and posts from Andy, Tammy, Adonis and others. Still pissed that the trolls’ and Aly’s shit nearly caused me to dump Adonis, but if there’s anything I learned it’s to treat people online like I would in person. If I wouldn’t want to meet with you in real life, I’m not going to any of your accounts. Really want to figure out how to block Molly from LiveJournal but am not sure where to put the code. 

Later… 

Alison emailed me saying she decided to stop going to my blogs but we could keep in touch by email. But she was in my Blogger blog today. 

She’s also dumping one of her Twitter accounts and thinking of rejoining Tumblr. I can’t keep up with all this girl’s accounts! Maybe that’s the idea, though. 

We were right to leave Arizona, but why oh why didn’t we go to Florida? I had strange and negative dreams all night (or day in my current case) that woke me up constantly, and one of them included snow. We threw it all away and dumped our home and our lives here for a warmer place (San Diego?) and were renting dumpy houses again. The noise was horrible. Screaming kids and barking dogs galore. Tom came home at night from work (why does he always work nights in my dreams?) and when I opened the door to greet him, I was shocked – and horrified – to see a few inches of snow on the ground. I wept with misery, wishing we could come back here and thinking that even the Jes pest was better than where we were. 

In reality, we’d never throw our lives away like that. If we ever really do move it won’t be till he retires. We’d make it just fine if he retired at 62, but we’ll be more than just fine if he holds out till 70. 

Also, in reality, they’ve got snow mixed in with rain for Saturday! WTF? Just WTF?!?! Tom discovered this weather update after I had the dream and was up and telling him about it. I am NOT going to be out there running in the snow! I’m not! 

I have tried and tried to please others, but I’m only good at being me just like John Mayer is only good at being young. Or so he says in one of his songs. There is a saying about how good friends don’t insult friends (like sending them pics of blacks proudly faulting a piece of paper over a white person’s head that says race card, which isn’t exactly a thrilling reminder for me or for others who have been a victim of reverse discrimination. Like sending a rape victim a pic of a woman being raped) and how they accept us as we are without trying to control and change us. Well, I’m done trying to please this one and please that one. If we were all meant to be the same, we would be. But if it’s that important to you to have friends you “approve” of and that you can relate to, it’d be just as easy to walk away from me and go get them as it would be for me to walk away from you and continue being my merry little self. 

No, this isn’t aimed at anyone in particular, just like last time, but being sad for those who are happy and not harming themselves or anyone else is like crying for someone’s cancer that they simply don’t have. 

“But I’m just trying to understand,” some people insist. Really? Or are they just trying to change and control? Then they craftily turn the tables and make it look like you were the problem when they finally get fed up enough to dump you. 

Well, I’m not looking to dump anyone that I currently know; just avoid and ignore those I dislike. It’s easier to forgive someone who can admit they made a mistake and apologize as opposed to those who go into denial and always turn the tables on you. Some people are such bad liars they will literally slap you in the face and be like, what? I didn’t slap you! Yeah, I’m not short either. 

A good 95% of the shit I’ve had to put up with online was on account of the same damn few people. *sad sigh* So fucking old. 

Ended up napping for an hour last night. It was nice to do in my warm cozy bed while it was so fucking cold out there. The cold I felt when taking the trash out early in the morning was positively numbing. 

My squirrel figurine arrived and it’s so cute. :) So did Jade’s socks. I ordered what I thought were 2 pairs of toddler socks for my 32” porcelain doll, but got 6 instead. She’s now wearing white socks with colorful polka dots around the ankle cuffs. 

Tom loves the shelves he got at Sam’s Club. On the 10th they’re doing another bulk pickup, so he’s going to get rid of what they left behind that he doesn’t want so he can finally have room enough in there to arrange it how he wants. It’s a pretty good size workshop, too.