I was surprised to learn Dad’s still got the group home up and running. I thought they would have sold the business years ago, but it’s a family business that Mom’s Mom started, so I can see where it wouldn’t be that easy to just give up. Can’t imagine Freddy taking it over either. Freddy always seemed to be the exact opposite of his parents in that he came off as cold, macho and uncaring. Totally not the sensitive, compassionate type it takes to run the type of group home LaRagiones is.

Anyway, I’d help if I could if I were there. I was remembering how grown up it made me feel to help serve dinner to all the people. There were about 5 or 6 large round tables set up in the main room in front of the main house, and I would have fun carrying out all the plates of food. Or some of them anyway.

Although I will miss having public blogs and the anonymous fun on Ask, it’s nice to be free of the trolls and not “forced” to give them the attention they want, in a sense, when they would ask me questions I couldn’t know for sure was really them. The break from their annoyances is nice. Like shedding a heavy coat on a day that’s hot as hell.

But I don’t want to be in hiding forever, as forever is such a long time. Right now I’m willing to give up some of the fun I was getting from it in order to frustrate them by wondering where I am and what I’m writing about in order to give myself a break from the same old kiddy crap I’ve been dealing with for years. Kim, however, proved to be a million times worse than Molly ever was and Molly was plenty bad enough. Most of the time Molly was a silent observer, following me from site to site, but Kim was anything but silent.

What was almost certainly Kim, asked Andy why he lets me tell him what to do. LOL, yeah, that’s a popular one they’ve both asked me and other friends before. Whenever we deactivate an account it’s automatically assumed it’s because someone told us to. Andy’s account still exists, but he hasn’t been using it much, so the trolls assume it’s because I ordered him not to. I don’t care, of course, what he does as long as he keeps my name out of it. Bringing me up would not only defeat the purpose of doing what I’m doing, but in their twisted minds, it would give them false hope of me returning. I may “wake up” my account there periodically in the middle of the night when they’re not likely to catch me, just to keep it alive. I hate to throw the account away altogether, glitchy site or not. That way it’s always there as an option to use, though I don’t think a year of silence will do the trick. I really think a decade could go by and they’ll still be looking for me. Just maybe not every day. But sooner or later they’ll think to look for me.

Had that pain in the lower right side of my stomach that I suspect could be a cyst on my ovary that flares up every so often.

I hope the trip to Arizona perks Andy up. I’m sooo glad he’s clean! Not just for obvious reasons but because Arizona’s the last state a white, Jewish, gay person wants to get caught in and deal with law enforcement. He’s definitely the minority of the wrong kind for that state. Even though what happened to me can never be undone and not every single person in the state was responsible for it, I cringe at the thought of placing just one toe over the border of that state for just 5 minutes. So if my toes won’t visit that state, neither will I! Tom feels the way I do, too. I had some fun times there, did some really neat things, and saw some amazing scenery and storms, but I’d go back to Massachusetts before I went to Arizona.

Sometimes I wish my friends and some family members that aren’t already there could one day meet up and retire in Florida so we’d all have each other to finish off our golden years with, but that’s just a fantasy. Still, growing old with Tom may be wonderful by itself, but growing old with Tom with Andy down the street, and another friend up the street, and maybe another a few blocks away, sprinkled with some family members, would be heaven.

Later…

Someone in Chicago spent two minutes trying rather desperately to access my MO blog. Could it be Kim’s “sources” trying to get a copy of it for her since she can’t read my MD blog? And if it is, does that mean Kim doesn’t know about my LJ blog? I know Molly does because she accessed it when she couldn’t access my MO blog, but does Kim? Well, if she does, she’s not going to appear on my tracker because the little coward prefers to hide. Aly once said Kim had issues with someone in Chicago, but are they still friends? Whoever it was really wanted in bad to try for two minutes.

A part of me is amused at the idea of just Kim knowing about and reading a blog where she doesn’t know I know she’s reading it and I can throw in all these little stories to piss her off, but the problem is Aly and Kathy. I can’t do anything to Kim or Molly (like drop my LJ link on Molly’s blog) without them knowing about it cuz they watch what she’s up to too, even if they remain silent. I don’t mind Aly and Kathy knowing about most things, but sometimes I just don’t want people to know things. Not everybody anyway.

Anyway, I don’t care about Molly’s lame blog, but I do find Kim’s paranoia interesting and a bit amusing. For some reason, she’s trying to buddy up to Molly and seems to think that everyone who leaves anonymous comments is pretending to be her.

I have some friends who want to read my blog yet don’t have FB accounts. So now I have to decide if opening at least one of them back up to the public is worth it or not. Although I know my stalking trolls would gladly stick their nosy little eyes into it, they can’t contact me on most of them, though I’m definitely NOT going back to Ask anytime soon. That much I’m definitely going to stay away from for quite a while, but not just cuz of them. I’m sick of their tech issues and need a break. But what to do about my blogs… hmm… I’m just not sure yet.

Now here’s some good and bad news for two people who aren’t meant to live in nicer places. We could practically move tomorrow if we wanted to cuz Tom works with a guy who’s tight with the owner of a 55+ park here in Auburn. They’re old single-wides that are “well maintained.” But we would still be cramped in like sardines with flimsy walls and single-paned windows. Ain’t it amazing how easy it is to get what we don’t want? However, the monthly lot fee would be dirt cheap. We’d save an unbelievable amount of money, and well, it just may be tempting when the inevitable happens and the nicer places turn us down for not having credit. I’m not used to nice places anyway. If we had around 1500 square feet, just what the hell would we do with it? I’m not materialistic and have sold most of my doll collection. So is bigger, newer and nicer really better?

There’s another co-worker, a woman who once managed a park in this area, that’d help get us a place there, but it’s a family park. She said there was no barking and that the few kids are quiet.

Yeah, right. Until we got there.

Looks like I finally found Jan on Facebook who used to own the gift shop I’d buy incense from up in Oregon. Facebook is really pissing me off, though, with not letting messages and friend requests go through, so I doubt I’ll be able to actually contact her. I couldn’t contact Kim’s sister there either, so I went directly to the martial arts website she owns and teaches from and emailed her there. I’m sure she’d take her sister’s side, though. Yeah, Kim will say I’m the one bothering her and big sis will be quick to believe it. That’s why I didn’t give my real name and address. But maybe this will finally make Kim think twice before she harasses people. It may make her try to reach out to more of my friends/family, but they’ve long since been alerted to both her and Molly’s shit.