It’s sunnier today than it was yesterday and I feel a bit more energetic. Yesterday I was really dragging.

Lost 2.2 pounds so far with the Alli, but still have to see it help me lose a significant amount to believe it. Tom had a point in saying BMI charts are kind of pointless. Professional athletes are always “overweight,” since muscle weighs more than fat. I think it’s our inches that matter most, cuz no matter what scale you throw me on you’re always going to be in for a WTF? moment as hard and as long as I’ve been working out.

Another dream with Andy in it. I don’t know where we were but were temporarily sharing a room (and unfortunately a bed) in someone’s house while attending some school. I don’t know what the classes were all about, but one night I couldn’t sleep and was listening to music till it was time to get up. It must’ve been summer in the dream cuz it was light at 6:30 am and I was going through summery clothes in preparation for “class.”

Glad to crash as soon as school let out so I could have the bed to myself, Andy said something about grabbing the attention of other women in the meantime.

“You can’t change fate,” I said.

“Yes, you can,” he said back.

I rolled my eyes and began hunting for something to wear before a stupid argument could break out over changing fate. But every pair of pants I pulled out didn’t match the top I had in mind, so I grabbed a pair of pants only to be unable to find a suitable top.

Andy called for me to move my ass from another room and when I stepped out a few minutes later he goes, “You’re not gonna be changing fate in that outfit.”

“Oh, worry about your own fate,” I told him with a wave of my hand.

“My fate is sealed, bitch.”

“Drive us to school, bastard.”

So it was inevitable that we argue in that dream anyway, LOL.

Really wish I could motivate myself to get back to my stories. I have like half a dozen unfinished ones but I seem to be mostly preoccupied with screening old journals for some of my blogs and thoughts of moving.

Although I’ll probably regret it since some people simply refuse to be ignored no matter what you do, I allowed for anonymous questions again and will just use my best judgment as to what I answer. Already someone who seems to know me is asking about my writing and the rats, though I realize it could be anyone. I have a lot of online friends and am a pretty well-known blogger after all.

Later…

As soon as I allowed for anonymous questions again, my “fan” wasted no time in asking about the rats, my writing and other things. Clearly, it’s someone who knows me, but it’s also clear that they don’t want to say who they are. But so what if they did give me their name? I would have no way to know if they were really who they said they were anyway. It’s still fun to be surprised by whatever comes in, even if it’s Kim I may be talking to. Sure hope not, though!

As the curious type who likes to analyze and learn, I was thinking more about Kim’s behavior, and while the signs of MPD are certainly present, how come her alters never showed themselves before she stabbed me in the back? She never presented herself as anyone other than Kim herself before our so-called friendship ended.

Really wish we could hurry up and get moved so we can plow more money into the 401K and lower our taxes, but there’s no way we could get out before the summer with our change of plans. We’re tired of living like bums. Both of us. Why put the money into an undersized oldie that constantly needed fixing and upgrading when that money could go into something nicer and newer? Just as long as we’re smart about it and don’t take on something with high monthly payments just because it’s nice, it shouldn’t be any riskier than buying a cheap old junker of a place.

Although it’s going to take some getting used to being choked in by so many people as even the “spacious” parks are cramped after having space for hundreds of feet in all directions around us, I’m definitely NOT going to miss Jesse’s engine-gunning. Fucking cock was at it with that truck or whatever it is a few times today. At least it’s not as loud as the motorcycle. It’s been too cold for that. By 7pm we’d already hit freezing and are expected to drop to just 28° tonight.

Paula sent a card and asked that I call her. Did she lose my number or something? Knowing her, she probably did. I’ll call tomorrow. She obviously never went to jail but if she did it wasn’t for long. I figured as much, though. She should be glad the laws are so backward and that it’s the violent offenses they go easy on. You gotta be careful what you think, but you can beat your man all you want.