Sometimes I don’t know if Andy’s playing with me or if he’s just plain stupid. It REALLY bothers me that he answered one of Ask’s questions with: Jodi can still ask me questions here if she wants.

First of all, he should know the importance of not mentioning my name and that the more I’m mentioned, even if it’s not by me, the more they’ll come around. In their twisted minds, they’ll see it as false hope of me eventually returning. He said he deleted a question from the trolls AFTER he said he’d let me see it first, but wouldn’t say what the so-called question was. Like he doesn’t want to tell me or something. I’m sure it was just asking that I return there or whatever.

Secondly, I already told him I wasn’t going to continue on with questions there because they’ll know it’s me, and again, that will keep them coming around and using him as a means of trying to get through to me. Didn’t he read my journal entry about all this? He may not mind, but I do. I do NOT want to give these sickos the attention they want. Not directly, and not through him either.

Tom said Andy may like the trolls cuz he’s a natural troll himself. Yeah, I suspected that, but it’d be nice if he’d consider me a little more than he has.

I’m sorry he’s depressed right now and all that, but I want my name left out of things! Argh! Sometimes I wonder if I should just dump all my friends and go back to living like a hermit both in the real world AND online. It really gets under my skin to see my niece post: I have the most wonderful daddy in the world! He let me use his car because my heater is broken.

Yeah, well, her “wonderful” daddy had a big hand in ruining her aunt’s life for years, and her BIL’s, too. So to be reminded of this asshole isn’t a very thrilling concept.

Anyway, Andy became depressed in December and still is. He longs for the Mr. Right which obviously isn’t meant to be any more than I was meant to have kids, and he really hates winter. He’ll be vacationing in Phoenix soon and hopes that will perk him up. He just doesn’t want his broke friend there using him, nor does he want to stay with her. He said that last time her apartment was hot as hell and her kids were annoying him so bad and going through his stuff that he checked into a hotel. I also get the impression he’s not doing too well financially now, so why he’s going on vacation at this time beats me.

Later…

There was a good God in the sky today after all. Oh, I still don’t think we’re going to get the house we want, but not only did the propane people wait till after I got up to come refill us, but I also got a letter and picture from Harry, my Italian Dad! I was surprised. I didn’t really think I’d hear anything back and figured that if I did, someone may have to write for him as old as he is now. The letter reads:

Dear Jodi,

I don’t type so please accept this handwritten letter from your Italian Dad.

I loved your letter and appreciated it and how you cared for your Italian Mom. I am so glad everything is going so good for you and your husband. Sorry about your biological Mom and Dad. I am still trying to keep the group home going but it is very difficult without my Anna. She meant everything to me. I am lost without her. I am enclosing a picture of us.

I called the number you stated in your letter but someone said I had the wrong number. I don’t do computers or email. I am too old for electronic gadgets.

Once again I want to thank you for remembering us.

With all my love,
Your Italian Dad Harry, xxo

I saved a copy of the letter I sent and I did give him the correct number, so he probably misdialed. I’ll use the cell to call him sometime soon.

The picture is as nice as the letter, but Mom sure looks different as opposed to Dad! Dad hasn’t changed much, but I’ve never seen Mom with straight silvery hair swept to the side. I remember her with short jet-black curls. I never cared for the look, but perms were a big thing in the 80s.

Gosh, such mixed emotions going through me now – so happy to hear from him, so sad to know Mom’s gone, so guilty for not keeping in touch. Thank God I studied Italian so I could recognize the spelling mistake I was making when looking up their name online.

Still wonder about that “strange” night, too. Was Mom saying goodbye? Did my psychic side just sense something was up? Or was the timing just a coincidence? I think it’s a combination of the first two since I’m not really a big believer in “coincidences.” The rat freaking out for no apparent reason kind of helped convince me all the more that my dear Italian Mom was indeed here, saying farewell from the other side.