Feeling the best I’ve felt in days. Not sure how long it will last, but I’m definitely enjoying it while it does. I even slept a little better, although I did wake up with my heart racing moderately at one point.

Dr. A has no problem with me discontinuing the SSRI for now. The scratchy feeling I felt in my throat is gone and it probably was connected to the Lexapro. It was definitely messing with my sleep just like the Prozac did, and who knows if it might have triggered suicidal thoughts as well after another dose or two? I’m glad I won’t be finding out.

The more I experience what I’ve been going through and the more research I do, the more I think that this is connected to perimenopause than anything else. Sure, the higher dosage of thyroid medication had an impact on it and so did the trauma I experienced, as well as the thyroid disease itself, but I think they fed off of each other and that the main culprit was and still is perimenopause. IDK, maybe estrogen supplements would be better for me at some point.

I will be seeing Stacey later on this morning and hopefully that will be more helpful as well.

I chatted with Tammy a couple of mornings ago and she really helped cheer me up. I just feel so bad that she is suffering as well, just in a very different way. She’s in such bad shape that she can’t even take walks. Hopefully, they will improve her health and she’ll quit smoking and become more active. Being smoke-free and keeping active makes a world of difference.

Although I’m more of a strength training and aerobics kind of person, I did a little yoga yesterday because it’s supposed to be very relaxing.

I’ve been anything but relaxed and some of my dreams. I didn’t get violent this time around, but some girl really pissed me off by threatening me and I said something like, “Fine. If you want to fight, we will fight.” Instead of reacting, though, she just made this strange guttural sound.

In another dream, my music teacher from high school agreed to give me rides to and from some kind of job and I realized I didn’t have a trace of the crush I once had on him way back when.

I was definitely wrong in assuming we wouldn’t have any more rain this year than we have had for the last several years. It pretty much rained all day yesterday. It hasn’t rained since I’ve been up, but it’s breezy out based on the wind chimes I can hear.

It has now been one month without Andy in my life and I can’t say I miss him. I say let him get on with his life and his false beliefs about me, his paranoia, his immaturity, his stupidity - the whole damn 9 yards - and I’ll get on with mine.

I know he couldn’t make me check in on Ask, but I often felt pressured to and I don’t miss that. Or having to hear about the same old shit over and over again.

So the Germans are kind enough to take in the immigrants and they thank them by raping them because their twisted minds/laws and religious fantasies tell them it’s okay to do so? When are people going to wake up and see these Muslims as the true honest to god savage beasts that they are? Especially the men with the way they treat women. Just wondering how long it’ll be before they are brought over here to rape US women as well because their imaginary “Allah” says it’s a good thing. Well, put one next to us and they’ll quickly see that “Allah” has other plans for them because I will have them moved in a heartbeat. I will not live in danger!